I just joined and am looking for some online support. I have had a series of jobs over the years including the one I have now and never felt like they fit me. I feel like a fraud and unsuccessful while everyone around me thrives at their jobs. It makes me so anxious and I keep having a pity party in my head for how I ended up here. I have a great wife and two great teenagers, but the anxiety and depression I feel about my lack of success is all consuming. I've sought help with a psychiatrist and therapist in the past but medicine and talk therapy never helped me.
I can't keep dumping on my wife or good friends so I now hide how I feel. They were a huge help when I first came clean about my feelings, but I am not making any progress and don't want to keep spinning the same record with them.
I think about ending my life every day. It's always on my mind. I just keep pushing through each day, but I don't see how I can make it through the rest of my life when every day is like a mountain to climb.
Just looking for some kind words. Hopefully I can pay it back some time. Thanks for listening.