I've been bullied in every job I ever had. People avoid me when I try to talk to them at work. Every time I made a friend at a job, as soon as I change jobs, they stop talking to me. I don't have close friends - just a few people I check in with every few months. I have one hobby I enjoy, and no one seems interested in making friends at that group hobby. The last time I had a regular group of friends was about 8 years ago.. I keep trying to make friends, but it never works. Ever.
I don't know how not to feel like human garbage.
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gardenblue
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I can sympathize, it’s very hard to make friends as an adult. I have even joined some friend finding apps...not going so great on those either. You are far from garbage. I think most people are just self absorbed anymore.
It's just hard when it seems like peers have so many colleagues for friends. And then there's me. I struggle with eye contact and I'm quiet, so people take it as an opportunity to be nasty. I feel like I was destined for a lifetime of suffering.
Hi in my experience work friends tend to be fair weather ones and they don't last when you change jobs. I would look for friends outside work ie maybe you could join a local group or something who share your interests.
Also 1 tip - sometimes others feel a bit uneasy talking to quiet shy people as they aren't sure whether they other person is up for it. Not saying you do this do you think it could be a possibility? Try and forget how you are feeling and concentrate on putting other people at ease instead. I find humour is good for that x
Yeah, I joined a local group and I'm really praying it changes. It's just hard to feel like everyone thinks you're the weird one for being quiet at work. I just don't have the energy to talk all the time, but I really appreciate this tip. I'm going to focus on trying to make people feel more comfortable, like you suggested
Good. This is two fold - first it shows what a nice genuine person you are, and second it makes people want your company. Ignore those who are just talkers though (I have met a few like that) as listening is a very important skill too. x
Something to think about... I think a lot of the time people are deep into their own thoughts. They may be feeling a little like you do (like do I look okay? should I have worn something different). It is hard to go up to someone you dont know. I've never had a relationship with friends at work that last very long. I find I am one that really doesnt want to put in the effort to keep up with friends. I think they may be picking up on that.
When I start feeling like I have no one to talk to, I realize I've always preferred time alone. Even when I'm with family members, I feel I have to come off as what they want me to be. I am afraid if they see how depressed I really am, they'll want to help me in some way. It just feels like pressure to me. So, I hope you find strength in the fact that you can always come on this site and let your real feelings out. This is a safe place.
I know you wrote this 2 years ago, but I've just seen it and can so relate. Couple of friends I had when young all moved away. I've been living in this area since I married, 26 years ago, and don't have one friend here. I really know how you feel.
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