Alone

[KikiK]

I feel alone. I sit alone. I am alone with my thoughts. They are dark at times coz i can't seem to recall the last time i was happy or really laughed. I miss the old me. Even though people say they love and care for you where are they when u struggling really struggling. I am married 12 years now 4 kids later. I sit with huge daunting problems coz the 2 people besides my kids who i love (my mom and my husband) have come to hate one another and i am tied up all in the middle. They all go on with their lives now... but here i am all alone. Coz to my mom i chose my husband and even though i sit here i miss my mom. For the 1st time in my life i feel like i am drowning and i want to drown i dont want to fight anymore whats the point. Every step i make has been wrong decision or just my bad luck. I just cant keep doing this... they call it life. I call it hell coz my heart my soul my head is so heavy and i just want it to stop. Like in the minute of u waking up and u feel nothing then it all hits... my problems. And then whole day i am faced with them and all i wanna do is run away from every1 who knows me. I just want to get away from it all.

[kenster1]

hi sorry to read of your current position its a tough one being stuck in the middle of family problems specially when you love them both dearly.obviously I don't know what the fall out is about I hope in time your family come together again.you never chose your husband over your mum you stayed with your husband and kids as any parent should do and your mum should never be putting you in that position.give it time best not bombard her with calls txt or emails that might make it worse.send a heartfelt letter and hopefully that might help resolve it.take care.

[KikiK in reply to kenster1]

Thank you for ur response. Hope the situation will resolve itself.

[sheila1kerry in reply to KikiK]

Maybe you should get the three of you to meet up somewhere neutral and then tell them both honestly how this is making you feel. Make them realise that as they both love you and care about you then they need to sort it out. STAY STRONG❤️

[Sprinkle1]

You sound depressed to me, and given the situation that is to be expected, I would ask you to go and get help, talk with a therapist. You need help and I know, when I get loaded down I go to therapy, or to a support group where I can tell my pain and confusion. You may even need a mild dose of antidepressants to get you through. Please be good to yourself. I send you strength and love.......Sprinkle 1........xx

[KikiK in reply to Sprinkle1]

Thank you for letting me knw to take an antidepressant i have never been on 1 in my life. Heres hoping they will help

[Sprinkle1 in reply to KikiK]

I am glad if we can be of help to you. I am sorry your Mother acts the way she does, parents need to let go when one of our children marry, they know they are still loved, but need to take a seat further back. I liked the suggestion of all three of you meeting in a neutral place to talk out the problem, or maybe if that does not work, all three go to see the therapist, one time each and then all three together. Family is so important in our life, you have your husband and children and they need to be important in your life. Also write in a journal about how you feel, it is a good way to deal with your stresses and any ups that come along. I have been writing in a journal for decades, it is fun to go back an read them, see how I have grown and changed. If you write to your Mother, do not blame her, just talk about how you feel, let the therapist help you with that if all three will not meet with her/him. And yes a mild dose of an antidepressant may be a good thing at this time and you do sound depressed to me. I know you will find your way thru this challenge and come out stronger once it is resolved. I send you love and strength, big hugs too.......Sprinkle 1........xx oo

[KikiK in reply to Sprinkle1]

Thank you so much. I do hope everything turns out the way you said. Right now they both very upset for each other. I am though trying hard for my husband to go an apologize even tho whether he feels he did nothing wrong. It will make my heart and conscience much better and will prove to her that he isnt the dragon she makes him out to be. Thank you for ur words. Reading them made my heart a little lighter 🌷

[Sprinkle1 in reply to KikiK]

I am grateful if I can be of help. And like I said, if you become over burdened, seek out help for yourself with a licensed therapist. I wish you peace and wellness. Love Sprinkle 1........xx

[Hidden]

I'm so sorry your husband and mom aren't getting along. Is it possible this could change? With the holidays coming would they be able to work it out? I don't know the specifics but it isn't right for either one of them to put you in the middle. Your mom should understand you are married and your husband has to come first. There is no reason you can't still have a separate relationship with her. Try to think positive and take one day at a time. Things can get better.