Hey, I'm new here and I'm hoping this is a good thing for me. I battle depression and anxiety. I'm taking Zoloft for it and it helps most days. Sometimes though I feel like nothing will ever really help me. Like right now, my kids are not home, two are at their Nana's and one is at a friends house and my SO is working and I am home alone with the fur babies and its like I was happy about the alone time at first but now it's like I'm sad about it. I have this issue anytime I am alone. I get excited about "me time" then about an hour into it I start feeling sad, wondering why I have no one to hang out with, no one to talk to, no life outside of being a mom/wife/college student. Then I start finding stuff around the house to do to get my mind off of being alone. Dishes, Laundry, school work. I turn on the tv just to drown out the silence. I don't leave the house when this happens, i don't try to reach out to a friend and see if i can come visit. I don't try to get outside of these four walls. I just stay inside. shut myself out, convinced i'm alone. i feel alone. all the time. i feel like everyone leaves so why reach out. i'm tired of being this way but its still me. its just something i can't seem to stop doing to myself. i feel safe this way but sad. Why do me and alone time have a love/hate relationship? why cant i just enjoy some peace and quiet without getting all into my feelings and locked in my head? I don't know.
ME + ALONE TIME = LOVE/HATE IT - Anxiety and Depre...
ME + ALONE TIME = LOVE/HATE IT
Are you sure that it isn't actually guilt that you feel? The reason I ask you to be clear is, I was a busy mum of three, frantic rushing around always seeing to them and stuff and more stuff etc... All I wanted was some peace at times, some 'me time' as you say. If I got any, I would find myself catching up on housework and chores... Not actually relaxing at all. I thought that I had to keep going that everything had to get done. I felt strange if I stopped being busy mum, certainly didn't want to waste time when there was so much to be done. It would look selfish or self indulgent if I spent time all about me.
Well, I am older and wiser now! Lol. Get your music on, kick off those trainers, run yourself the bubbliest bath or shower that you can, sing at the top of your lungs, dance round your home like a crazy person and under no circumstances touch a duster or a mop!!!
You deserve it, run with it and see.
That sounds like me, maybe it is guilt. I seriously am always finding something to do around this house when it is just me. Man a nice long hot bubble bath with music and no duster sounds so awesome, just don't want to get this rotten feeling the next time i get this "ME TIME"
Go for it! Honestly, the sky doesn't fall. It makes a huge difference. Yes, the things still need done... But, so what!
Hi
Praying all is well. You can do alone time by going out to a friend house shopping anything’s that’s outside I think that willl give you peace. Have to find that root cause that made you anxiety or talk it out with someone you trust. Do you exercise
I use to go to the gym on a regular basis, then i started college and its hard to find the time.
I'm similar to you although I do go out and do things like go to the mountains, alone most of the time but I do go.
And at home I'm the same, after being alone for about an hour or so I hate it even if I had been looking forward to it. I usually wish I was in work instead.
I quit work in January to go back to school, I graduate August 1st and i'm itching to get to work, I love my kids but I miss working so bad.
I don't know how people sit a home most days and don't work, I would go crazy.
Congratulations on graduating.
Trust me if it wasnt for school i would be at work, I can't sit at home all day and do nothing. brings on anxiety attacks, no class today, sitting her trying to BREATH
Can't you find something to keep you busy?
Sorry for jumping into this post so late however I want you to know I understand how you feel. I am a mom of 3 ranging in ages 14 to 21. Some may think because my kids are older and more self-sufficient, that things couldn't be too bad. Well, that's not true. All of my kids have been invovled in athletics (soccer, track, basketball, etc.) so we have spent most weekends either at a game, meet or tournament, and often out of town. I work full time, go to school full time and believe me I welcome the days where everyone is out of the house and I have peace and quiet. My oldest has been away at college so she hasn't really been around to drive me crazy. Sometimes my husband would take the other two out of town for a tournament and I would remain home. Man after the first day (which typically starts on a Friday), I become a little restless. At first its great. I don't have to prepare dinner, I don't have to check homework or drop someone off at a friend's house or fuss at my son to get off his video game. When I wake up on Saturday, I go to my kickboxing class, do some shopping, then I'm back home to an empty house. I can fill my day doing housework, taking care of my senior black lab, doing homework, shopping online, etc. but I miss my family too. I often feel as if I have pushed so many people away (friends) because of my lifestyle so I don't try to reach out to anyone because I feel guilty for not keeping in touch with them. By the time Sunday rolls around and I go to church, come home, change, and start preparing dinner for my family, everyone is back home driving me bananas...lol. I have learned to except this is my season in life. I love being a mom and a wife. Though my role of mom is never over, I know one day all of my children will be out of the house for good (though my 21 year old just graduated college and returned home). I choose to invest in my family right now. Of course that doesn't mean I can't take care of myself. I can take weekend trips with girlfriends, I can hang out with colleagues, I can spend more time catching up with people I haven't spoken to in months or years, however that is not my priority. Do what is best for you and your family. You need to be healthy and if you need to be around other people occassionally to give you that extra boost of energy, that's ok. You can balance family, school, and other things that are important to you, you just have to take the time to plan things out. Tonight I took a bubble bath and it was FABULOUS! Learning to be still and enjoying being secure when you are alone is a wonderful goal to try to attain. People are not going to always be available (maybe on social media) and when they aren't if we are comfortable being alone, then we won't feel so sad or depressed.
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