All alone

I cry everyday. I have few friends and family who doesn’t want to talk to me. ( because they’re sick of me complaining). Divorced for 6 years and have 2 young adult children. Both would rather be with their Dad ( because he is FUN) ( has $$ to do FUN things).... and I gave up our family house ( where my kids were born and raised). My X black-mailed me about the house... I couldn’t see hurting my kids and taking them away from their home, so i gave in. I am no longer valued or consulted on anything. I was a stay at home Mom for 20 yrs... college educated.... nobody wants to hire someone who’s been out of the workforce for so long. I feel like an alone loser. Money is tight.

[Iloveart7]

I'm sorry. (((Hugs)))

[Hidden in reply to Iloveart7]

Thanks! Sometimes just that validation helps!

[Hidden]

I just joined here for the same kind of thing. Though our stories arent exactly a like I can say I know how you feel. It does suck to feel the way you do, trust me, I know. I can say too, you are not alone or a loser. I pray for you to have strength and peace.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

thanks! i’m an ear if you need it!

[Catwoman2018]

Hello and welcome to our site. I hope you find lots of helpful advice and support here. You are never alone on here, always someone to talk to or listen. Staying at home to look after your children is an amazing job, I stayed home and brought my 4 children up. I work full time now, very hard when suffering from anxiety and depression, but you can work, you are important and never give up trying. I'm always here if you need to talk anytime, don't feel alone, I've made a lot of new friends here. Sending you big supportive hugs.

[Hidden in reply to Catwoman2018]

thank you so much! I’m going back to school in Jan.... but these holidays are HARD! Memories of how they used to be! ( thanks for your kindness)

[Txaps]

Hey have you tried applying at a temp agency? Believe it or not some temp agencies have decent paying jobs for customer service or data entry. I'm thinking about doing the same myself!

[Agora1 in reply to Txaps]

You're absolutely correct Txaps in that temp agencies can pay well. I got a job one year

as a fill in for the Christmas season at the mall. I was put in a customer service booth in

the center of the mall by Santa Claus. Enjoyed every moment I worked. Continued being

called back every year eventually was hired full time.

[Hidden in reply to Txaps]

good idea! I’m gonna need to do something while I’m back in school. I have anxiety about being back in the work force after being out of it for so long. ( but no excuse)....am 55 and feeling embarrassed!

[Txaps in reply to Hidden]

You can do it! We all believe in you!!

[art62grammie]

I feel your pain. I am 56 and was married for 18 years. I divorced in 2000. I remarried three years later. I was married basically 17 years to that man. I went through a recent long divorce. I left a brand new home and medical insurance and 17 years of my life there. I am 56 but have a 15- year old son. He lives one hour away from me. He took dad's side. I have not seen him for a year and a half. Holidays are tough now. I just want to wrap my son in my arms and tell him how much I love him. I know it would be painful to see him. It would be for the two of us. I want what is best for him. My son tried to keep our family together. I could not take that man anymore. He was not physical or sexually abusive. He was so abusive in some many ways. I had to walk away from the marriage to save myself. Get some friends and enjoy life. Those ex-husbands are not worth crying over. They sure are not for you nor me. LIVE HONEY, ENJOY LIFE.

[Hidden in reply to art62grammie]

thank you for your input! im really making an effort!

[Gryphon1]

Why is it that family don't want to talk about problems and give up on us.

I get annoyed hearing on news items about mentally ill not getting help from other sources (which I know we still need) but this family thing frustrates me.

A lot if people on here post similar comments usually blaming their depression/anxiety/ sick of complaining for family not being there anymore and if you happen to feel suicidal because we're alone well that also our fault.

Oh but then we get.... All our dearest would miss us and we shouldn't be so selfish!! Why didn't they talk to us?! If only we knew!! We would have been there!! etc etc ...Why after the fact?

Where are they in our darkest hours and when we are alone at Christmas or other times, we turn to strangers on here who become more like family why oh why is this the case?!!

I would listen to someone cry forever if it meant they were never lonely and it would keep them from harm.

I am so sorry for you and I cry everyday like others on here. I hope you find the love you deserve you sound like a very caring person for what you have done for your kids, I would hire you tomorrow you are definitely no loser. Take care.

Sorry for rant.

[Hidden in reply to Gryphon1]

Thanks G! ( and I like rants... was thinking about changing my name here from lastnerve, to talkstoomuch 🤣)

My family is my biggest source of pain for me. My siblings and their spouses and kids live far... in a different state than I do. We don’t all get together that frequently. The phone is our go-to. I’ve stopped trying to share my pain with them; they simply change the subject or need to go ( hang up). In fact, my calls are getting fewer and farther between! They have had their limit with me. It breaks my heart, but I’m learning to ignore their “couldn’t give a sh&@ attitude.” Hard to do!

Last night ALL OF THEM got together to celebrate Christmas early due to whatever 🙄🙄. In the past, we always talked on phone ( on speaker) to share warm wishes etc... so i could be a part of everything. NO CALL LAST NIGHT, no text, NO NOTHING!!!

NICE,eh!?

see... talkstoomuch is a better name 4 me. Tears were present last night. lots!

[Gryphon1 in reply to Hidden]

Same here, "we can't help anymore go to professionals" and similar to you they don't live near and hang up on phone or yell at me.... like that helps.

So I haven't been in touch for along time. They will probably see each other over Christmas but I haven't been invited, NO CALLS EITHER!!

It really hurts wish I could not feel the pain, don't they realise how much it means. It is so hard to do,to ignore.

I don't think you talktoomuch just honest genuine feelings and this is the best place for that. I am so tearful all time but your post made me feel hurt/angry for the blame we put on ourselves as well as the pain from them. I had birthday recently and spent it on own, like I will Christmas. Not a good time for us. Lots back!

Now I am talkingtoomuch!!

[Hidden in reply to Gryphon1]

sending you healing hugs! you’re not alone.... our stories are similar!! strength in numbers!!

[Gryphon1 in reply to Hidden]

Just seen other post re your daughter, so happy you are not alone today, have fun.

[Hidden in reply to Gryphon1]

thanks!!! she’s home from University for the holidays! ( stays with her Dad, but is coming over)! yay! truly thank you! wishing you peace!❤️