How can a mom of 3 kids feel lonely with the house full? I’ve felt so lonely all my life, I have no friends, my family is 8k+ miles from me and they never call or text to ask how I am and about my kids, my boyfriend is already doing too much to help me with my sickness and had forgotten to spent good quality time with me, never compliments me...
I just need someone to talk, someone that cares about me
I feel ugly, I feel alone and I don’t have anymore meaning in life, the only reason I’m still trying so hard to get better is because of my kids
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Gasulina
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I feel alone and abandoned also. All I have is a boyfriend who staying temporarily and he's starting to avoid me
I know we’ve briefly talked before but if you read part of my response to this main post maybe there’s something there that can help you. I’m sorry you feel alone and abandoned and admit that it’s truly hard to make friends as an adult but it’s not impossible. I hope things work out with your boyfriend and things turn around for you
I think it’s easy for people to assume that being a parent and being around your children is the same as being around adults. You love your children, I love mine, but I could spend every waking moment with them and still be lonely.
As adults we need the attention and interaction of other adults. The love of a child is irreplaceable but so is the meaningful conversation with our peers. My family is the same way but it’s important to remember that just because you don’t feel it doesn’t mean you aren’t loved. I went years speaking to my parents maybe once a year because they never had anything to say when I called and the instant my dad felt like I was in trouble he dropped everything to come visit me. It wasn’t thousands of miles though 😕
I’m getting a mixed read on your boyfriend with what little information I have (sorry I haven’t read more of your posts if you made them) so I won’t comment on that but I would ask how long you’ve been together and say that over time most relationships tend to be filled with fewer compliments. I think it’s sad really that that’s the case but it seems to be true. It doesn’t help you though.
Have you tried MeetUp if you’re looking for platonic friends? It was recommended to me by a friend and it allows you to meet groups of people interested in doing things based on your interests. There’s even one in my area called “I Want to Do That but Not Alone” where people post things like going to a comedy club to do you can buy tickets and sit together as a group instead of by yourself. It really depends on your area, your interests and what groups have been started locally. I also recently joined a group for single parents to do things with or without their kids based on suggestions. There’s some fun sounding things coming up that they’re going to.
I can’t comment directly on your appearance but if you’re a woman you’re almost certainly attractive. Nearly all women are in some way or another to at least one group of men or another. Women are way too hard on themselves when it comes to their appearance.
I would like to remind you though that if you’re trying so hard because of your kids you’re probably a great mother. So you’re doing something right.
As far as talking goes, I’m usually available. I warn people my notifications are screwy so if I’m not answering I’m busy and just haven’t checked the app. I’ve exchanged numbers or Facebook information with some people to make it easier to talk after a while though.
I was a single parent for 16 years, with 3 some, and yes you can feel lonely, and all those other feelings you mentioned, despite a house full of kids... my family was across the country, though was never very close to them unfortunately.
It's important to make time for yourself. And you life not just being all about kid, housework, and all that.
So sorry you are feeling this way. Loneliness is a terrible feeling. Have you considered counseling as a way to work through these feelings and get some ideas on how to reach out and develop friendships with other adults? Are there parents of your children's friends that you could meet up with for coffee, or perhaps arrange a play date? I know when my kids were young, I at least had other adults I could interact with during my kids' activities. Not sure how old your kids are? Some churches offer a "Mom's Day Out" where you could meet other moms and also have a chance to go out and do something that interests you. One of the other posters mentioned Meetup groups. Those are great way to meet other people with similar interests. Are you working with a doctor and are you taking any meds for your anxiety and isolation?
I was in that situation, but wasn't grateful with what I had. My depression was really bad. Then I got into another emotional and physical abusive relationship and my depression got worse.
What helped me was a good support system and getting a family scholarship to a family friendly gym. Do you have group therapy nearby, social worker or mental health who can come over? Close to a gym, zoo?
My family was living miles away. I end up establishing a nice, strong team who are understanding, doesn't judge, and resourceful. I keep in mind they are mandated reporters, so I tried to keep up with cleaning and having meals on time. It was embarrassing when my worker came over and I wasn't ready for any company. i had garbage piled up and food was late, so my son snacked on granola bars and found my chocolate and ate half the bag.
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