am I alone

[JoJo1221]

Hi! I go by JoJo. I am 31 years old, happily married, and have 5 children! I suffer with depression and anxiety as well as a mild case of OCD. I am in a state of depression right now that I can’t shake. I have been on Zoloft for a couple of years and take 150 mg a day. It is not helping anymore! I feel like I am a failure, a horrible parent (due to not wanting to go out and do with my kids), unworthy of love, and just completely lost! Please tell me I am not alone! I have not had any major life changes or anything bad happen to me… I don’t know why this depression has hit me so hard! I don’t want to even sit up in my bed! I just want to lay there and waste away! I need people to tell me I am not going crazy!! I feel so alone! The only thing that I can think of is that I am overwhelmed with the repainsibilities that come with being a mom of 5! My kids are my everything, but 5 kids is exhausting! I want so much to be super mom, but how can I be when my depression cripples me so badly! Please help.

[blackcat64013]

Hi JoJo1221,

Thanks so much for sharing your post which has reached me in Australia.

You are doing a great job coping with so much.

It's our depression making our brains (mind) think we don't have much going for us.

I would suggest that you need to have medication review with your doctor. Sometimes the medication stops working or you might need to up the dose.

Medication works best if you can pair it with some psychologist appointments. If you have a family, then some sessions with your partner may help all round.

Wishing you the best on your journey with depression etc. 💜

[JoJo1221 in reply to blackcat64013]

Thank you for responding! I am up for any suggestions! I just feel paralyzed by this disorder! I haven’t seen any therapist, but maybe that is the key! I just really need to talk to someone who has been through this that understands. My family is great, but they don’t suffer with depression…. So they don’t fully understand it! Thank you again.

[Focusedmind]

If you are only 31 and have five children, then I think they are probably pretty young and are close in age. Therefore, I believe you have every right to be tired!! Also, if you live in the U.S., this probably means your kids are out of school for summer break, which assumes they are home now with you to entertain them. Again, I am exhausted just thinking about it all! 😁

My first thought is, can you get help from friends, family, or childcare to assist you with your children? Our children are a delight but can be too much at times. It sounds like your husband does help you, but do you also have more family or neighbors nearby that can assist you? Can summer camps, childcare, nannies, or mommy helpers possibly relieve your burden?

Also, make sure you are eating and sleeping well, too! Please, talk to your doctor about changing your medication. If you have been on Zoloft for three years, maybe you need to try an alternative drug or increase the dosage.

The most challenging job I've ever done is raising children. It is not easy and certainly takes a lot of patience, so please forgive yourself for not being "Supermom." Trying to do too much may be the OCD talking to you, as it sounds like you may be hard on yourself for not being perfect at a very, very tough job! ❤️

[JoJo1221]

This was so comforting to read- just knowing that it isn’t just me thinking that they are kicking my “backside” (figuratively speaking of course)! They are close in age - ranging from 12 to 3 years old and are out on Summer break!! I have a wonderful family who helps as much as they can, but 5 kids is a lot to ask anyone to help with consistently. I have daycare for 1, but for 5….that would break our bank account! I do think though that being stressed and overwhelmed may have led to this depressive state!! It is just extremely bad this time.. thank you for the words of reassurance and encouragement! I can’t tell you enough how it validated a lot for me! Praying that this too shall pass. ♥️

[Focusedmind]

Yes, this too shall pass! Do talk to your doctor about your Zoloft medication upgrade. That may be enough to help! 💓 We always love them, but especially in the summer, they can have very high energy!

[Mohammad-341]

Please consult a therepist if possible else write your all thoughts in diary. From now onwards please use some family planning measure, yes every kids not only fun and joy but responsibility also

[Tealpillow]

I feel like I could have written this post except I have 3 kids! I’m 38 so a bit older than you but I too struggle … with even basic things like cooking, grocery shopping, cleaning, etc. I just have no will and the 150 mg of Zoloft stopped working about 4 months ago. My psych upped the dose to 175 and I feel SO MUCH better.

For me what’s so difficult is how to manage this disease in front of my children. I try to have very open communication and reassure them that they are not the cause for my mood swings. We can only do our best since we do honestly have a debilitating disease. Sending you solidarity and support!

[CLB1125]

hi JoJo, children can be very overwhelming. Stressing about trying to be super mom can add to your depression. I ran a daycare for years, having my own 3 and 6 others was very stressful and depressing at times. You need to start telling yourself I’m doing the best I can. And “your” best be enough! It’s not easy to do at first but keep telling yourself that. And watch your children.. if they are happy with your best, that’s all that matters.

Also I would talk to your doctor. Sometimes one medication quits helping and a new one is needed. I take 150mgs of Zoloft and 450 mgs of Wellbutrin. I just slightly depressed! 😉

[catsrock]

You are very much not alone. I can't imagine how exhausting 5 kids are - I had 2 and it wiped me out! All of the things you wrote that you are thinking about yourself is depression playing tricks on your thinking. I hope you get some rest soon. I'm also wondering how young your youngest is and if this is postpartum depression - that's how my major depression started after my younger daughter was born.

[Mumbutterfly]

What they said When I was a kid, there were four of us. Sometimes, especially in summer, my aunt would take two of us for a sleepover and my grandparents would take the other two. I’m sure it helped my mom but it also gave us some good memories of being with family and helped us be closer to them. A therapist could help figure out if there is something causing the depression and seeing one with your husband could keep your marriage healthy since love can be multiplied but time has to be divided.

[mauv]

First you need your medication adjusted, either upped, or start on another antidepressant. Second it would be nice if you could go to a councelor together to talk about why you are depressed and how he can help you. He will have a chance to talk too. Third You need some time for you to relax. Have your husband watch the children for 1 hr after supper and take time for you. Take a long bath, read a book, paint your nails etc. Then you won’t be so stressed taking care of the kids during the day. Look for Vacation Bible schools in your area.(They are a week long) Any thing your town might offer, swimming pool, sports, crafts. Summer camps. Call your County and ask them what is available. Praying for you Jo Jo.

[Bakerssquare]

There's a lot of us that feel the way you do.

[Agora1 in reply to Bakerssquare]

Hi Bakerssquare (oh how I miss their pies)

I see you are new to our community. Just wanted to Welcome you.

I'm glad you are here with us. We've got you dear. xx

[Bakerssquare in reply to Agora1]

Thank you

[Agora1 in reply to Bakerssquare]

xx