CHRONIC PAIN, DEPRESSED & INVISIBLE

[Cocoon3]

New to joining any online forum or group, my title pretty much says everything .... I fight chronic disabling back and neck pain, I’ve battled with fibromyalgia, have not worked since 2010, I had worked since 1986. I have chronic recurrent depression since I was a teen, I Have always thought of suicide as a 2nd option if things don’t work out. I see a psychiatrist & I’m looking for a new therapist, I can’t count how many times I came close to attempting suicide & I have attempted suicide 3 times, the last was in 2014 & was as close to success as possible. I’m currently fighting off the dark thoughts, my pain gets unbearable & then I lost the three loved ones that understood me & laughed w/ me & lifted my spirits and now the three love ones that I have, are all very defensive, take everything I say the wrong way, they do not educate themselves on my illnesses — I feel invisible, unimportant and a burden AGAIN!!! My go-to-person, BEST FRIEND of 27 yrs passed away this past January.

Signed, Miserably Alone

[Tamka39]

Hi and Welcome sorry about your loss am here if u want to talk. I have anxiety panic disorder PTSD depression depersonalization and derealization

[Cocoon3 in reply to Tamka39]

Thank you!

I’m sorry for your battles !!

I’m just trying to see if this helps any... Im In the worst pain ever & I feel sooo alone.. my hubby doesn’t acknowledge that I’m depressed or in pain etc... I will see how this goes.. I’m fighting THE DARKNESS more & more each day... funny how ur mind can trick u into thinking that the world is better without you in it

[Tamka39 in reply to Cocoon3]

U right everything u just said I feel alone too

[Hidden]

I’m sorry that you’re going through this pain. It hurts not to be seen, when you need a listening ear w/o judgement. When I had depression in college, I lashed out at my loved ones. I didn’t know how to deal with the pain, and didn’t help that I pushed away my partner and my family. I hope that your pain becomes more manageable, keep fighting.

[Passionchick22]

I’m so sorry for your loss...it was a good thing you had someone who understood you...I myself feel that emptiness and loneliness as I lay here next to my husband...like no one understands you...like you’re tired and just wanna give up. I feel you. But we both have to realize that our illness is making us feel this way. We tend to look into something too much. Over analyze and make ourselfs believe we have no one who understands, and you know what they never will and I hope they don’t ever have to...you need to go through it to understand how crippling it can be. I feel misunderstood all the time. Almost like a burden, even to my own parents, family and friends...I’ve isolated myself into making myself believe I have no one, when I truly do I just can’t see it when the depression and anxiety is telling me differently. Keep your hopes up and take it a day at a time. Don’t be so hard on yourself, we are our own worst critics. If you ever need to really have someone to vent to I’m here.

[Cocoon3 in reply to Passionchick22]

Thank you sooo much for your comforting words I can already tell this site will help me out God bless

[Dubba61]

Hello n welcome. I'm sure you,ll get lots of Support on this site. I know I do. It's very Sad n hard when someone of your support Network passes away. It's happened to me too. I lost my darlin Mum who was my absolute greatest supporter. Yes, isn't it strange that People around you n family members don't educate themselves on the illness? I've had the same problem many times with family members. So much so that I've had to cut out seeing some of them .I find distracting myself, helps me. Listening to online hypnosis of Jason Stephenson n others is soothing. N Classical Music because you don't have to follow Lyrics. Art n Crafts help too. Best wishes 😊✌️🌻

[b1b1b1]

Have you seen a spinal orthopedist for your back pain? Sometimes back pain can be caused by things other than fibromyalgia. It can be very disabling but can be helped by physical therapy, and possibly other treatments.

[Cocoon3 in reply to b1b1b1]

I see a spine diagnostic pain mgmt but Injections no longer work & I never can talk to a person at their office. 2 wks ago for the 1st time I felt for 7 seconds complete left leg paralysis, only 7 secs but I cried I was so scared I could not get a return phone call for five days ..on top of my already damaged cervical and lumbar a very heavy dresser fell on me , I had an MRI done it showed significant damage but then two days after the MRI I did something stupid— I stepped up on some cement blocks that were being used as steps to enter my cousins home and I felt A pop mid back , I was literally stuck in mid air if my husband would not have been behind me I would have fallen backwards so I am waiting on a second MRI and I think I’m going to change over to the neuro medical center thank you

[b1b1b1]

Is surgery an option? I have a friend who had surgery for very severe bak pain. The recovery is on the long side, but she is now fine and completely pain free.

[purposelife]

Welcome to the board! So sorry to hear all the pain and loss you have endured. It's good that you are seeking another therapist. Sounds like you are talking the necessary steps to help your situation. Do your husband go in the therapy sessions for support? Maybe he will understand more about what you are going through if he attends. Praying for mental and physical healing for you. Take care

[Cocoon3]

Anyone else ... HAVING TO CHOOSE 1 MED ????

My Doctor(s) are telling me I can no longer get my pain medication if I’m on an anxiety medicine.... I broke down crying cuz .. THE GOOD HAVE TO SUFFER FOR THE BAD., Louisiana. ???????? 😢😢😢. I’m scared of what this may throw me into.. I finally find the right meds to somewhat function daily and Now .. I have to Choose ONE

[Sillysausage234 in reply to Cocoon3]

How are you?