Not getting any help from therapist or doctor

[Stuck1963]

I go to the only place I can where I live since I don't have any insurance or income right now because of my severe depression and anxiety and they are not helping me. I don't think they are even intersted in helping me. I am an Empath and HSP so I can feel what they are thinking and it makes me so uncomfortable and more depressed. I need help from someone who is more intellectual and understands the problems I have. It's so frustrating. I was fine for so many years until thrust into the role of full time caregiver for my sick mother. I was rexposed to manipulation and abuse by my father and her to an extreme degree which brought on the Complex PTSD. My father even went to the extreme by vandalizing my car because they want me to be completely dependent upon them so I will have to move in and take care of them. The abuse I suffered growing up is almost unspeakable and my mother was complacent in it and participated in most of it, was and has always been extremely narcissistic and a compulsive liar. I took care of her and my little brother when I was just a small child because my father was so abusive. I have always taken care of her even though she didn't protect me and neglected me. She still takes up for and makes excuses for my father who screams at me curses me threatens me and shoves me. I have no electricity or water in my house and there are no resources to help me here. I was appointed a case worker but she hasn't helped me. She gives me a gas card every two weeks so I can get to my appointment. Quite frankly some days I want to die because of the situation I have allowed myself to be manipulated into. There doesn't seem to be any hope or help available in my area.

[Hidden]

What about a women's shelter in your area? I'm sorry you're in this mess right now, I'm here if you need me! Love, peace, light, joy & hugs!!!

[Stuck1963 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you for your reply. That has been offered to me as a temporary relief but I'm afraid my anxiety is so bad that I just can't do it. Also, when I have taken my mother to doctor appointments and physical therapist my dad has broken into my house and stolen things including precious photos of my children when they were little and some of my jewelry and tools. Just anything he can to upset me. He urinated in my front and back door, on my bed and sofa so I have to sleep in a sleeping bag on the floor. I have no one to help me move the furniture out so I'm just stuck. Even if there were someone to help me I'm not sure I could even let them because of shame, embarrassment and the anxiety. I literally live in an isolated hell. There doesn't seem to be any way out because there are just no resources to help me. If I did go to the safe house, I would have nothing when I went back to my house and everything would be destroyed. Yes, I have called the police many times and filed reports but they won't do anything. I have voicemails and recordings of some of the abuse but still no one will help me.

[Hidden in reply to Stuck1963]

Wow I can't believe the police won't help you! I know some in our area & 1 in Houston & no way would they allow this to continue. I'm so sorry you're in this situation. I don't even know if I have the right words for you. I know I'm here for you & will try to help you in any way I can. If you'd like you can pm me. Love, peace, light & hugs just for you!!!

[Stuck1963 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you, I have no support network which is a problem unto itself. My two grown children do not understand and are so embarrassed of my situation that they will barely talk to me. My son won't let me see my grandson who I took care of everyday for the first 19 months of his life so this has been another devestating blow.

I push everyone away either because I don't want to be a burden or just terribly ashamed. I know developing a support network is the first step and the crisis hotline suggested to get back on this site to read and reach out both to support others and to find some support so thank you for your kindness

[Hidden in reply to Stuck1963]

I also have 2 grandsons I don't see. I understand that pain. I really am here for you & will be your friend. Love, peace, light, joy & hugs!!!

[b1b1b1]

You do not have to be a caregiver, full-time or otherwise, to your mother. You also do not have to tolerate your father's abuse. Is it possible for you to move to a shelter and look for a relatively simple job. Nothing will get better while you stay in this situation. In my opinion, the only realistic option is to leave, regardless of the consequences. Your parents have very serious psychological problems themselves and you cannot make them better.

[Stuck1963 in reply to b1b1b1]

Thank you b1b1b1, I have stopped caring for my mother for a few weeks and things have gotten much worse with threats. They were paying me very little to take care of her and their home full time because my dad doesn't want to take care of her and just wants to get out and run around with women and has spent all their money. I had a house that I bought in my mothers name while I was in the middle of a divorce and he made her sign papers to borrow against the house without me knowing and that was my only other source of income was rent from that house but it is in forclosure now because I can't pay the mortgage and there's no equity which was basically them stealing my retirement. My anxiety is so bad that I can't even go to the grocery store or to the mailbox during the day so the prospect of me finding a job I could do seems almost impossible but that's what I want is some help and some solutions that will help me out of this mess. If I could find someone that would be non judgmental and discrete to help me move the furniture he soiled and have a sale to sell my thing so I could put the house I live in up for sale before it also goes into foreclosure I could move away but there is no one, no services here, and I'm so ashamed of my circumstances and my anxiety is just so bad. I see a nurse practitioner, a therapist and a case worker every week or two but it's been 5 months and they have given me no advice or help at all. It's the only place I can go because I have no insurance or income.

I just feel so alone and hopeless.. Thank you for writing