Social anxiety and depression

[nomipsycho]

Hi I'm Nomi 21 I've had schizophrenia(I guess because I never had a checkup) since childhood. I faced child abuse by my father and bullied by people because I was different my mother is depressed because of her bad relation with father so she couldn't do anything about me. I suffered with major depression anxiety and suicidal thoughts all my teenage. I started taking tofranil and quetiapine as prescribed and xanax as needed and I got a lot better. Now i face social anxiety and I avoid daily activity because I get confused among people and I feel pressurized. I don't know what kind of help I need. I stay home and feel alone I lost everything and everyone plus I have an addiction to happy and lovely girls . I feel so good and I just wanna talk to them all the time. At normal situation idk what and how to say so I stay quiet. I hope someone would understand me and help me by giving some advice I know I couldn't explain well.

[Hidden]

Hello Nomi, I'm glad you reached out. I was abused by my Father/Family too so I can relate to what you may be going thru. I too feel social anxiety am I'm working on coming out of my house for more than just work. Maybe if you start by chiming in on the conversations with others by speaking up when you agree or disagree with something they're saying. Please know your thoughts and input don't have to match others. They are not your father. You are free to say what you want & become who you wish to be, without fear of punishment now. I'm here if you need me

[nomipsycho in reply to Hidden]

I have tried a lot believe me a lot of times but every time I get disappointed because I can't argue and I can't have happy conversations like them where they laugh and have fun and i just keep quiet and I then want to go back home to my room.

[Hidden in reply to nomipsycho]

If you're around the right people, you won't have to argue. I tell everyone that knows me, "I'm a No Drama Zone". I speak up if I have an opinion but otherwise, just let them chatter. Stop putting such high expectations on yourself. The fact that you are in the room with others attempting to engage is COURAGEOUS enough! Love yourself. Despite of & especially with your imperfections. They make you, you!

[nomipsycho in reply to Hidden]

Thanks Shaq! The thing is I feel bad when my loved ones or other people want to talk to me and I can't communicate and the other thing is its affecting my career which is going not so good already. Otherwise I'd love to be alone and avoid interactions than to seem unconfident and boring. And should I really be comfortable loving myself being a socially sick person? Is this how life should be? Tbh idk..

[Hidden]

Yes you should love yourself thru all sickness. Social or physical. Loving yourself thru all things changes your world! Waiting till you are PERFECT or Acceptable to others before allowing yourself to love yourself... Means you'll die unhappy ☹ NOBODY IS PERFECT. Love yourself now! Please ❤

[nomipsycho in reply to Hidden]

I understand your point but shaq I've already made so much fun of myself in public and I'm sorry but I can't be okay with that. When you love to be with them and enjoy their company and instead you get anxious and you can't speak properly or take part in the conversation or have fun and feel ashamed. You're helpless you can't tell everyone and they judge you they talk about you and maybe they laugh about you. This something really unlovable.

[Hidden in reply to nomipsycho]

Ok, sorry I couldn't help : ( I don't care about people talking about me or laughing at me. They are gonna do what they are gonna do anyway so, why concern myself. Best of everything to you

[nomipsycho in reply to Hidden]

Thanks shaq! Can you suggest me a group or people with social anxiety to talk to. I really wanna talk about my past. Even if I talk normally with confidence the fear is still there. I want to kill that fear and feel like I never had any psychological problem with myself.

[Hidden in reply to nomipsycho]

You can talk to me if you'd like ❤ The people on this site have been very helpful to me. I'm sure they'd love to hear you out & offer hope. I don't know of any other groups. This is the 1st site I found. I don't do Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat or ANY SOCIAL MEDIA. I'm truly an introvert. Sorry 😔

[Wannachange01 in reply to nomipsycho]

Let me suggest you one thing. I am facing this problem from childhood of anxiety and social phobia. I am thinking I am loneliest person in the world. But one thing take my time go which is study in institute. I am not happy too there in college. Feeling anxiety and depression there. But one thing I can sleep good at night. Feel relax. So it's better to have something to do than staying home alone.

[Wannachange01 in reply to Wannachange01]

So join any institute or do job which make your time go and life. We anxiety people will put some force to do to make life