Lost: I don’t know if I want to die. I... - Anxiety and Depre...

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I don’t know if I want to die. I just want the pain to stop. The anxiety. Feeling like a burden. Like I can’t do anything right. I want it all to stop. But it doesn’t. I know my children deserve a better mother. I know my fiancé deserves a better spouse. I feel like everyone would be better off without me. I feel like a burden. I talked to other guys off and on during my relationship but when I started counseling six months ago, I haven’t talked to any guys since. I don’t even want to. I regret everything bad I’ve done to him. And now my relationship with him is ruined because of me. I can’t fix things. I’ve tried. I’ve told my doctor my symptoms and thoughts, they seem to brush it off. I am tired of pretending I’m okay. I wish so badly I could go on leave at work but I can’t afford it. Everything is just becoming too much for me to handle. I don’t know what to do.

2 Replies

Have you told your finaceé that you feel like a burden? Have you told him that you think that he and the children deserve better? I will say that my best time spent on myself was in the psych ward. They could evaluate me and help fix my meds.

Hello. I would recommend you go and see your psychiatrist today. Tell him everything you are feeling. If he doesn't pay attention to you, go to the hospital. Then after they treat you ask them for a reference for a new psychiatrist. You will feel better. Follow what the doctor tells you, eat better, exercise, go to church, talk to your friends. Do things that even though you don't want to do them, you know they will make you feel better. Remember that God loves you and that we are here for you. I will pray for you.

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