So my boyfriend died extremely unexpectedly just couple days ago. Now I am seeking grief counseling & trying to decide if I should go to the service. I been seeing him for 4 months, he asked me to move in & I was just therd on the weekend. He died 2 nights after I came home for work. I only met his mom once & he said they had not spoken for a couple of weeks. His son got hold of me to inform me & ask for help unlocking his phone. I am so confused, he seemed to be fine when I left but turned out he was not taking care of his diabetes & slipped into a diabetic coma that evening & passed on. My mind is blown. Finally connect with someone & this happens. Now scared to talk to people but starting grief counseling next week. Also considering walk in clinic if I get much worse. I just don't see the point in much anymore but know I wouldn't hurt my fam by doing what my cousin did earlier this year by unaliving herself. I seen & felt the pain it has left.
Boyfriend died unexpectedly - Anxiety and Depre...
Boyfriend died unexpectedly
why are you wondering if you should go to the service? Do you think it might bring more trauma? Is it possible that going to the service may bring you closure? Death is hard, grieving is hard and it's different for everyone. How ever you are feeling is ok. Definitely seek coucelling. if you feel you are losing it, go to the clinic or call 988. we are here to support you. I'm sorry for your loss.
There will be all kinds of people I will not know or have met. I only met his mom once & they were not speaking past few weeks. I never met his son & only just talked to him for the first time. His ex who is his son's mom is planning things. Son said he would update me but he has not yet. I did not do well at my cousin's service and hid in the car crying. I only shared my emotions privately with him & is usually how I do that. Hardest part is he wasn't talking to most of his family & not sure who knew about me. I am not ghe type to rock the boat or stir the pot in the slightest. He & most of his fam had tenuous if any relationship or communication. I know I should at least go by, maybe a fly by as I am agorophobic and have serious anxiety before all this. Just so many emotions of my own & others. I am not normally an emotional type per say. My brain and emotions are a scrambled mess. Not sure what my place might be in it. He knew about my issues & was a huge support for me.
I don't do well with crowds at all! If it were me I would do a fly by as you say. Go in give your condolances to his mom and then leave. Maybe send her a card. Or if you just can't do it, send flowers for the service. Do what is right for you. You are not under any obligation to attend. You probably won't see any of them again anyway. If you know where he will be laid to rest if that's what is being done, go there afterward and pay your repects to him. It's whatever you feel you can handle.
I am sorry for your loss. I will offer something somebody once told me - they said "There is no wrong way to grieve." It is a personal thing. Whatever you choose to do, I hope it can give you some degree of healing and closure.
I'm sorry for your loss. Grieving is a personal journey. Not everyone grieves differently. You gotta do what is best for you. Also there is no finish line for grief. You just get better at coping with it.
You matter to someone.
Sending love and hugs 🫂❤️
Ty, brought up a lot from my cousin earlier this year. I know it definitely is not linear & am struggling. Starting to feel like it comes in waves for both of them. The losses are deep and don't think the voids can be filled. Ty, I hold on for my daughter & fam because I do not want them to feel this pain again.
Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
Grief is something that will always be with you. I've learned from the loss of my brother that grief has no finish line. It's something you are going to talk about until it's your time. No shame in it. I've gotten better about it.
I posted about it in the bereavement group here. But it was a poem that basically said let me talk about them cause it's like letting me spend time with them again.
I'm sorry about the sudden loss of your boyfriend and cousin.
You can always come here if you are struggling.
🫂❤️
I heard you big time on that. Their passings made me realize how trivial most things truly are. These are the first I have started to talk about them. I usually just try to surpress my emotions. But lately it is like a dam bursting and suppression is no longer working.I guess I need to learn to talk, but they were both the people I talked to about things. Now I have to lean elsewhere, which is brand new.
I do miss being able to call, text, & talk to them. Feel lost without them now.
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