I am ashamed of what i did or what i did not do.

[morenews]

I have backed off today from a difficult job prospect. I had already conversation with them, and i have realized that it is kind of hell there. And i got scared and did not apply. I feel weak and miserable ...but i could not bring myself to keep going with this prospect. I hope I did the right thing, i will never find out. It is my anxiety and fear to get out my comfort zone. it is sabotaging my own plans and it is deceiving my own principles. Thank you for letting me vent. Because i am ashamed to tell my family about it. I am taking responsibility for this action, but i feel depressed and defeated.

No, i can not change that, i said something to people that i don't want that and no way back...

[hypercat54]

Not sure I get this. I read it as you found out that the people you might have worked for are hellish but you are annoyed because you can't work for them now as you chickened out of working there? I would say you are very sensible. Why would you want to work with such people? Why do you call yourself derogatory names for backing out? x

[morenews in reply to hypercat54]

I don't think that people are hellish ...i think that job is hellish. I went for a first interview and they told me a few facts which made me think that. I got scared of the job. They called me for the second interview, and i refused to go. I think that it is weak of me to back off...

[hypercat54 in reply to morenews]

Why is it weak? What's the point of going for an interview to work at a job which is hellish? Do you think you should have gone back and told them no way and the reason why or something? Surely it doesn't matter as you didn't want the job anyway? I think anyone would have backed out as what's the point otherwise? x

[morenews in reply to hypercat54]

No, if i would go back and go thru the second interview i would have to take a job. Well, may be i just exaggerate difficulties...may be i should have tried, if they hire me. I just feel like i am such a loser now.

[hypercat54 in reply to morenews]

I think if you have taken the job and found it was really bad you would feel a lot worse than not going through with the 2nd interview. Never take a job you hate as there is no point. You spend at least 8 hours a day there so you need to be at least ok with the job.

It sounds like your intuition was spot on so trust it. Something better will come along if you persevere. I have found this to be true in life so many times. x

[morenews in reply to hypercat54]

thank you for your kind words, i am crying now out of relieve...

[hypercat54 in reply to morenews]

Good! You weren't chickening out, you made a good decision. Well done. x

[Hidden in reply to hypercat54]

Yep!!! I agree !!

[LovelySnow in reply to morenews]

I pretty much agree with hypercat54. It sounds like you made a healthy choice. But I feel you - I can definitely relate to feeling weak (for not going back for a second interview) and wondering if you made the right choice. Those thoughts & feelings can be rough to shake.

Do you have other interviews lined up?

[morenews in reply to LovelySnow]

yes, i have 2 interviews actually: tomorrow and after labor day. But this one was the second one, meaning they like me.

[LovelySnow in reply to morenews]

I hope people on here have helped you see - from what we can gather, it sounds like you made a healthy choice. I hope you can look towards your upcoming job interviews now. Best of luck with those!

[Hidden in reply to morenews]

Trust your instincts. Trust yourself. The job was not for you and that is okay.

[Hidden]

Sensible choice ! It’s called looking after you ! As you are worth it ! ... you don’t need negative people like that in your life .... that would I imagine put you under unnecessary tremendous amount of pressure, stress and unhappiness ... wise choice ... it’s not weak to have made that choice it’s a positive self awareness that you hold ! Never let go of that ... you should feel no shame or guilt. well done ! Wishing you the best of luck on your journey ! 👍🏻

[morenews in reply to Hidden]

thank you, i hope you are right. I don't trust my instincts very often because i think that i am a coward.

[Hidden]

To me that sounds more like strength. Trust your intuition. You did the right thing.

[morenews in reply to Hidden]

thank you! O ...i wish it was strength. Strength is jump off the cliff not run away from it

[Hidden in reply to morenews]

I don’t know. I think it takes strength to walk away from something you know will make you miserable when you know others may judge you for it.

[hypercat54 in reply to morenews]

No it's not. Strength is what you need to recognise your weaknesses and to work on them. x

[morenews in reply to hypercat54]

Yes, I think I see my weaknesses in this job search. I want to get a job but I am also scared of getting a job, scared that it would be too difficult. It is not just that issue which I wrote about: did not go for the second interview, it is my general mood.

[hypercat54 in reply to morenews]

Yes I totally get that. I have been out of work a few times and the longer you are off the scarier the thought of a job is. I know however from the past that once I start at a new job I am usually fine and it is fear of the unknown.

Don't think too far ahead and concentrate on just getting interviews at the moment and if you think you would like the people and the job then go for it. You might have made a mistake as have all of us but you often have to make decisions without all the facts so if you do then chalk it down to experience. x

[ScottieStyles]

I have the same issue, I want to leave my current job, and have already been offered a job elsewhere how ever I'm scared about leaving, as I'm not 100 percent shore this new Job is right for me

[morenews in reply to ScottieStyles]

Yes I understand it perfectly. Put on a list pros and cons and think about it. And remember: we don’t know the future, there is no guarantee in any case. But we are here today to make a choice and live with our choices. I have made my choice yesterday...and I have to move on.