I am not alone

I had to attach a pic of our baby for the calming effect.

So.

HU has told me this via an assessment:

"78% of other users in Anxiety and Depression Support identified feeling more confident in the care you are receiving as an area of concern.

Why not talk to them about it?"

Well, here goes. Without divulging too much info, I can say have zero confidence in the care I was receiving. It shouldn't be like this. I should be treated like someone with high blood pressure or diabetes. I've got conditions that severely affect my entire life in almost every way on a daily basis.

Why is mental health care so far behind? Why must we needlessly suffer because of the system that is in place that is ineffective and sometimes damaging? Why am I consistently doing my own treatment research? Why can't I just go to a doctor or provider and be treated with dignity and compassion? A doctor or provider that has the best knowledge in their field of care?

Yes, I know, they're people too and have limitations and problems too but they've dedicated their lives to "caring for and treating" those with mental health problems.

I'm not sorry for being extremely frustrated by the incompetence that is out there in behavioral and mental health care providers. Not sorry at all. I have a right to be treated with respect at the least.

I struggle, yes! That's the reason I sought out a mental health provider! Instead of getting proper treatment, I get berated and treated with complete disrespect.

I. Just. Can't.

I'm safe and being cared for by my wife so I'm not actively suicidal but, it's made an appearance! Like hi 👋.

I'm AGAIN searching for a new mental health care provider who, no doubt, will treat me with no dignity or respect as well as my previous.

I'm so outraged right now that I'm shaking. I want to scream and cry and kick my feet around like a child. That's what this "system" has done to me.

I'm sorry but I needed to talk about my current situation.

-S

[CLB1125]

beautiful

[Hidden in reply to CLB1125]

🙏

[Hidden]

Right! Omg it's maddening!

[Turnipgirl in reply to Hidden]

Yes it's infuriating isn't it when that happens!

[Hidden in reply to Turnipgirl]

Happened to me a few years ago. I had a doctor I liked (kinda) and he had waaaaay too many patients and I would literally wait for him for half my day. Next thing I know, he's "moving". Come to find out that he just wanted to release some of his patient load and made that sh*t up!

My previous provider retired (which is what has me here) was kinda ok too but off she goes to retired land. Ughs

[012703060610]

Over the past few weeks, I have come to the realization that several of my providers are just winging it with me. They don't want to do the work they need to do to give the right care. Given I have such rare diseases, I swear I could ask them to write a script for almost anything and they would believe me that I needed it. My GI doctor is totally falling short and my weight is in rapid decline again. Yes, we all deserve to be treated with dignity and respect. Without patient and doctor trust, things just don't work. Even if I don't always like the tone of a doctor, I may be ok if they are listening and doing their job. Now when it comes to mental health, forget it. I have been trying to find a place to go to for a time out that cares for both mental and physical issues. Everything is focused on addiction treatment rather than holistic care.....well I guess unless you are rich and famous.

LOVE THE PIC! We may adopt a cat this weekend! You deserve way more than to just be treated right! You deserve to be happy and whole!

[Hidden in reply to 012703060610]

I was JUST talking about the combination of mental health care and substance use disorder care with my wife last night. If you go to those places (I am not implying that I have a prejudice or problem with those who struggle with substance use disorder, I know it's real and difficult), you don't get the proper treatment or they treat you as if you have a SUD which, impacts our care. (Again, I have nothing at all against people struggling with SUD, it's what my wife has targeted and studied for in the last 2 years -or more- and, currently works with people who struggle with SUD, she has a passion for helping those who have that struggle and has made me continue to look at them and treat them with compassion.)

I hope hope hope that you can find physicians who can help you. Even a little bit would be better than what you have! It's infuriating. I'm sorry that you have your struggles.

-"Yes, we all deserve to be treated with dignity and respect. Without patient and doctor trust, things just don't work. Even if I don't always like the tone of a doctor, I may be ok if they are listening and doing their job."

What you said there especially about trust is exactly how i also feel.

Glad I'm not alone sadly.

Hugggggg

And, thank you, that's our baby lol

[Wakeboarder24]

one thing I’ve learned from having the right psychiatrist is that you want someone who treats symptoms not just the label he or she gives you. Sometimes it’s a cocktail of medicines instead of just one medicine.

[Hidden in reply to Wakeboarder24]

Sooooo totally agree! I have or- had anyway a cocktail that worked for me but it doesn't seem to matter what I think or feel, ya know? Thank you for your reply 🙏

[Mrspjsmom]

I can relate to everything you are saying. The mental health system is overwhelmed and many providers are incompetent or detached and treat patients like we aren't people. To make things worse once you find a psychiatrist or therapist that helps you don't know how long they will be there before retiring, or leaving for a better paying job in private practice. It really boils down to one simple thing both in society as a whole and mental health care. If they don't see the problem you are dismissed. People see broken bones. People see other conditions. I've spent my whole life fighting this. Migraines, fibromyalgia, disc problems in my neck and entire back, anxiety and depression. No one sees any of that. So I am dismissed. At times by family members. I hope with all my heart you find the proper doctor to give you the respect and treatment you deserve. If not keep fighting until you do.

[Hidden in reply to Mrspjsmom]

Ughhhhh dear, I soooo get it. The system is overwhelmed, more people are finding out about their mental health problems now and, access and obtain mental health care. Then making it these days, impossible to contain.

My favorite provider just retired which broke me up and, forced me to find a new one so, I understand. I've bounced around providers for decades bc of how f*cked up the system is. Sorry, I'm still mad.

Hugggggggg

[Turnipgirl]

Here in the UK there's no such thing as mental health services as they are not fit for purpose!

[Hidden in reply to Turnipgirl]

I don't know anything about the system where you live but, some of us in the US want national health care and I question it. I always wanted to know about the mental health care system so, thank you for your reply! It is frustrating.

Huggggggg

[Turnipgirl]

Your little kitten reminds me of an old colleagues cat called Millie and one who lived next door to us called Mary along with her calico sister Katy.

[Hidden in reply to Turnipgirl]

She's our precious baby 👶 💗. She's so cute I wanna eat her up lol not serious.

[LifeIsThePitts]

You are definitely NOT alone! I struggled with this delimma back awhile ago when I was still on antidepressants. Understanding now what I didn't realize then, and getting some feedback from one particular physicians assistant, has helped me with compassion for the "caregivers" in the mental health department... although it doesn't excuse the overall dismissive and accusatory nature of this part of the healthcare system we have to navigate. Depression and Anxiety patients are already hyper-emotional and sensitive individuals, often with backgrounds in trauma and abuse, which exacerbate our conditions. Mental healthcare Drs should inherently know this. Oftentimes I think they have to protect their own mental health from being dragged down by the load of their patients' grief and struggling. If someone is drowning in the water, it's very easy to die while trying to save them. In their panic, they pull the person trying to save them down further and both parties end up being killed. Hence, I FEEL that a lot of long term psychiatrists and psychologists become numb to our pleas for help. For us as suffering patients, the emotional panic is real... for them it's the same message they hear from every patient all day, every day. I wouldn't be able to absorb that emotion weight for a day let alone a lifetime.

A PA that has been in practice for 25+ yrs told me that the medical industry he started out in is not the medical system of today. It's purely a for profit business, nothing to do with treating the patients. If you lose sight of that, it's too late. Our conditions are just a way to generate profits for the Drs, insurance and Big pharma... period. They do NOT want to cure you, they want you completely dependent on them so that you keep paying and paying and paying them for the rest of your life. When I realized this, that's when I started weaning myself off all drugs and started researching holistic and other treatment options.

It's how I got to my 2 trifectas

Diet exercise and sleep

TMS marajuana and Psilocybin...plus other psychedelic options in the future, I'm sure I'll try

I had to stop making excuses for my avoidant tendencies and running from my pain...ALL of it, mental and physical. Most difficult thing ever to face my dark side for the first time.

I agree, I spend WAAYYYYY more time investigating my conditions and new treatment options than Drs ever will. But even if they did, they can't recommend or provide them to us. Their hands are tied by what the med industry allows them to prescribe, hence barbaric outdated psyche meds that they know don't work and pills that will likely produce more dysfunctional problems in the long term but are forced to prescribe them anyway to get their patients symptoms under control and also to get paid. Addiction and dependency are huge problems, as we all know the difficulty of weaning off these meds, if we're lucky enough to be able to do that. I'm one of the lucky ones.

Ultimately there is no excuse for feeling as though we're an afterthought in the eyes of our mental health providers. BUT...If there were enough physicians to adequately treat everyone that needed depression and anxiety support...there would be a psychiatrist/psychologist office on every street corner. Depression IS the #1 most debilitating disease on the planet. It's indiscriminate and colorblind to all social constraints...we have to figure out how to treat it individually and as a whole.

Your frustration and outrage is warranted. Your pain is real. You're looking for healing from a source that may not be ABLE to give you what you need to recover. It frustrated me too... and I finally realized it could not provide what I personally required to get better. Luckily I found my niche elsewhere and I'm grateful beyond measure that it's turned out that way. There may be another road out there more suitable to your needs than what this broken medical system can offer. Keep doing your research...I know you're heavily invested in this area. Don't give up 🙏 we've got your back, too❤️

[Hidden in reply to LifeIsThePitts]

All I could do while reading your reply was nod my head and go "yes! Mmhmmm!" Perfectly put. I 100% agree with literally everything you said. This system is f*cked and the patients suffer.

My wife (as i mention bc i love her dearly and I'm so proud of her), is studying to become a therapist and maybe a psychologist. She's going to graduate school next, that's about all we know atm.* Anyway, she currently works at a substance use disorder facility/mental health facility and loves it BUT, it takes a toll on her, like you were saying. Sometimes, she comes home just exhausted. Not physically but mentally and emotionally bc she's so empathetic.

Anyway, I am actually thinking of treating my damn self like you do! I've been boiling angry and sad for 24 or so hours that my brain is fried but, I've spent those hours and emotions properly by researching and thinking of alternative medicine and care. I know me best. I think I need things that doctors or providers would probably go no where near. Their hands are tied like you said.

I do have some misplaced anger but I'm working on it lol

Thank you for your reply. I appreciate it so much. Huggggggg

[Nothing_but_books in reply to Hidden]

Why "misplaced"? Seriously, maybe you know something I need to learn. I've got angry coming out of my pores, and it doesn't feel one bit misplaced.

[Hidden in reply to Nothing_but_books]

Idk, my wife (who I swear is my only friend besides you all) mentioned that the provider I talked to was maybe also troubled and, maybe also needed care. She does things like that. I find it annoying sometimes (I told her to f off in a caring way lol) but, I digress. I am still pissed off and feel like I've been judged and accused of for just being a human being with mental health needs. The damn system.... 😠 😡 😤

[LifeIsThePitts in reply to Nothing_but_books]

Sorry...I literally laughed out loud 📢 🤣, nbb! I resemble that remark to a "t" and I'm really in the trenches of anger/irritability/annoyance this week. Thanks for making me smile temporarily. We're All in the same 🚢 boat. HUGS 🫂

[LifeIsThePitts in reply to Hidden]

When I realized I was depending on the system to cure me with options that don't work, that's when I got PISSED, like you are now, and vowed to fix myself.

We're brainwashed to believe Drs are there with our best interest at heart. They DON'T & AREN'T! I gave them way too much credit for knowing about MY symptoms and needs. I came to the conclusion that only I and my husband know these things intimately and since then I've forged my own treatment path.

It's scary to break away from conventional treatment but there's so much out there to investigate holistically and naturally and noninvasive. Unfortunately, I have to pay for everything I do out of pocket 100%. That's the biggest downfall...the financial burden. TMS, marajuana, psilocybin, Ketamine... nothing covered by insurance. And that eliminates the majority of patients searching for alternative options, and that really SUCKS.

[Hidden in reply to LifeIsThePitts]

The brainwashing is real! I mean I was brought up thinking just that-doctors solve all your medical problems, la la laaaa. Uh, no.

I'm about to be treating myself, I'm getting there. My wife is skeptical. Of course, I make my own medical decisions so, I've been on the computer and my phone researching today, all day. It is scary, yes. But, the possibility of placing my life in the incapable hands of the mental health care system seems scarier as of right now, for me. There's so much more treatment out there that I could benefit from (as I'm finding out) that my providers probably won't even go near or, it's not covered, or this or that.

I mean, I could be misdiagnosed as far as I know. I looked at my insurance claims and I've got tons of damn mental conditions. It's like, really though?

Getting a gig job like delivery will fund my efforts. That's as far as I've gotten with that. That's a huge obstacle though! Huge.

Thank you for sharing your treatment and thoughts with me, it's helpful. And, knowing that I'm not alone is so helpful.

I just had a hot flash btw. How fun!

Hug

[Nothing_but_books in reply to Hidden]

If you've found a way to make those damn things fun, please share. To infinity and beyond? Ground control to Major Tom: thermostadt needs upgrade.

[Hidden in reply to Nothing_but_books]

Lols I'd love to know that secret

[Nothing_but_books in reply to LifeIsThePitts]

Yup.

[Nothing_but_books]

Here's a "hi" 👋 right back atcha. What do you know, HU was right. There are other members who need to hear exactly what you've got to say.

Heard and seconded.

I've mostly given up. Desperate for help, and given up.

[Hidden in reply to Nothing_but_books]

Thank you and, yeah I'm desperate myself. It's an awful feeling. Feeling like they either don't care enough or only care about the money for example, ya know?

Please don't give up. You're worthy of the help and assistance that you need. I feel like giving up too and then the wife gives me hope. I wish I could share what she shares with me (with HIPPA in full effect of course). The stories give me hope.

I mean, I'll be honest and say that last night, I wanted to fully give up. I was on the floor crying and feeling desperate for the proper care and treatment. It feels so sh*tty.

Idk your whole struggle but, I know you're a human being that is worthy of care and compassion.

Huggggggg

[Nothing_but_books in reply to Hidden]

You make me laugh. That gives me hope.

If you see your way through to sharing the wife's encouragement, wow that would be something. We don't all have that. Well, I don't anyway.

[Hidden in reply to Nothing_but_books]

Hehe. She doesn't really get into specifics but it's like, enough to grasp the main point, ya know?

Yes, it's been giving me a whole new perspective on patient care. She's so empathetic though to a fault.

Anyway, maybe I'll share something tomorrow if she has something heartwarming to say lol