What should I do to heal?

[mindfulmeow]

Do you ever feel like you're losing yourself? I have been feeling lost for the past few months. I am emotional and I don't know who I am anymore. I look back at the things I would do and how I would act and I'm not that person anymore. A part of me is relieved that I'm not that person anymore but I feel guilty for my past behaviors and actions. I want to be able to fully accept myself but I do not know how. I've realized my family is also dysfunctional and very negative, so it doesn't help to have them near me. However, I am living with my parents, so its unavoidable. How do I deal with healing if the people around me aren't any help? I feel like my anxiety and depression are really bad.

I am waiting until next year to go to a psychiatrist to speak about my PTSD. I recently started taking my prozac again, but my Dr told me I should not rely on the medicine, which is why I was hesitant to begin taking it. He also stated that I should focus on eating healthy and going to the gym for my depression. I am and have been going to the gym, but it didnt seem to help my depression which is why I asked for prozac. When I did a follow up, he was very snarky when I told him I was going to a psychiatrist and said "so someone who prescribes more medicine."

Anyways, is it normal to feel numb and very emotional? I feel so lost and out of touch with the people around me. I feel like I'm lost and I have no desire to move or interact. The things that made me happy once are making me sad and emotional and I don't know what to do. I feel like I'm in a hole and I don't know how to get out.

[LadyZen]

So I've noticed that regular doctors are less likely to keep their patients on meds because that's not their specialty. Psychiatrists will prescribe you meds for as long as you need them, but I've found that they're not good at getting to the root of the issue, especially if its situational. That seems to be more of the role of the therapist. I've used a combination of all three in the past. I started out with a therapist. The therapist recommended I talk to my doctor. My doctor initially prescribed me meds, but when my therapy took longer, he asked that I see a psychiatrist to manage the meds. But the entire time, I was seeing a therapist, who helped talk through my issues as well as help me figure how long I needed the meds.

Hope this helps.

[mindfulmeow in reply to LadyZen]

Thank you! I was seeing a therapist but we were not a right fit and I didn't feel too comfortable telling her my problems! I am currently looking for another therapist. I used to attend a small support group, but I don't know how to locate one in my area anymore! I found that the group setting really helped me!

[LadyZen in reply to mindfulmeow]

I've done support groups as well. Hopefully, you'll find a therapist that is they right fit. They should be able to point you towards a support group too.

[Marysblue]

Feeling alot of same, its all depression.

[mindfulmeow in reply to Marysblue]

We will get through this 🫶💗sending you lots of love and good vibes to help you through this difficult time!

[Sandpiper14]

Ok let me just say that I understand you and how you are feeling. I was exactly where you are last year. Tbh I’m not doing so well at the moment but I was doing fantastically for many months before.

The guilt? I’m not sure I feel it too, but people on here have reminded me that we are not defined by our past, we are free to move on from it, because how can we be happy if we dont.

If you feel uncomfortable with your medical practitioner please see if you can change. Life is shit as it is when going through depression and you GP should support you and make you feel safe.

in respect of your last paragraph- YES! Especially when depressed. I stopped liking all the things I once loved and actually didn’t want to leave my bed. You can’t really believe it’s possible until you live through it yourself. And gosh my heart pours for you right now because as I say I know how that feels. All I can say is it WILL get better. The tablets will start to work and little by little you’ll see a resemblance of your former self. Hang in there 💛

[mindfulmeow in reply to Sandpiper14]

Thank you so much! This really helped! I appreciate your message and the time you took to write a response! We will get through this little by little! Sending you good vibes during these difficult times 💗

[Sandpiper14 in reply to mindfulmeow]

We will! I am certain of it! Please keep the forum updated! 💛 you’re going to be just fine.

[bethelbee]

My suggestion would be to see a Psychiatrist sooner rather than later. They are definitely much more versed in the role of medication than a GP and, along with a therapist can help you deal with your PTSD. Don't listen to your GP about not relying on meds. Meds can play an important role in your treatment. Some are on them for long term, others not depending on your situation. There were times I felt I was a shell of my former self. Please keep us posted.

[mindfulmeow in reply to bethelbee]

Thank you! I will seek help and keep you all posted! This helped a lot as I had been feeling like I couldn't take my medicine because my doctor's made me believe there was something wrong with taking my medicine 💗

[Gillyflower18]

Hang in there! I’ve been where you are and are still dealing with a lot. I would not stay with any Doctor who is “snarky” and uncooperative. I have a good integrative gp and he referred me to a great therapist and she got me a good psychiatrist who handles meds. That’s how it works the right way. They all work together for you. My gp told me outright that he wasn’t experienced enough in psychiatric meds to prescribe them and they should be handled by a physician experienced in the area. I am lucky I guess! There is no place for overinflated egos in medicine but I know there’s lots of them out there! Keep looking and you’ll find the right one! No feeling is ever permanent they come and go. I’ve found meditation and journaling helpful. If you have access to Insight Timer I recommend Andrea Wachters series on depression. It is very good as are all her courses. A prime membership does have a yearly charge but I’ve found it very helpful on many levels. You can do this. Keep us posted.

[mindfulmeow in reply to Gillyflower18]

Thank you so much for the insight and the recommendations. I will definitely look into meditating and journaling! I've been meaning to get into meditating but I didn't know of Insight Timer! 💗

[Gillyflower18 in reply to mindfulmeow]

You’re very welcome!