What should I do: I’ve been divorced... - Anxiety and Depre...

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What should I do

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I’ve been divorced for 8 years now. My current relationship has been going on for the last 3 years and unfortunately I’m ready again to move on again. She has her own issues and I am happiest when I’m not with her. I feel like she brings me down and neglects her own child due to her issues. I can’t support that and I can’t be the crutch either. The issue is we have been living together and building a home together so our home and money is tied together. If I up and leave I’m starting all over again with nothing. I’m still rebuilding my credit is from the first divorce and have no where near enough saved. My plan right now is to hold out until I can get on my feet enough to leave with as little struggle as possible. I feel bad in doing so though. Feels selfish

9 Replies
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Hi ABAZ,

Every relationship is going to have issues ! There is no guarantee that you will leave this one and find a better one ! If you love her , have a honest chat with her ! Don’t be a crutch but be a friend ! I am not sure about her issues but anxiety and depression are not easy for the person feeling them and for the family members. Sit down and talk to her , anything can be said in love ! Good luck

Hidden
Hidden
in reply to foxglove_pnw

I definitely agree. However I feel like I’m happier alone/single. I don’t want another relationship. This one was great I just feel I’ve learned that it’s not what I want. I see myself single and only dating when I feel like it in the future. I’m my happiest creating ideas and businesses. I don’t need anyone else for that

what is her take on the relationship.....

Hidden
Hidden
in reply to fauxartist

Good question, but to be honest I’m not really interested. Looking out for what’s best for me right now. We aren’t aligned in one area for certain kids. She has recently mentioned wanting more and I’m pretty certain I don’t want any with her. I feel like she’s looking for a baby to bring her happiness. How could you be depressed and suffering from panic attacks but thinking to have another child. She barely interacts with the one she has?!?

fauxartist
fauxartist
in reply to Hidden

Then co-habitat for monetary reasons....but tell her the truth up front and now, and stop any future planning now....let her know your done. It's not fair to her since your already taking care of you....give her the same courtesy for her to decide what she wants to do......after-all....you did have feelings for her at some point.....

Hidden
Hidden
in reply to fauxartist

I’m going to do that although I do not want to hurt her feelings. When the baby thing came up I immediately let it be known that that’s not at all in my plans right now. I do love her but no longer in a build a future together type way. I really feel it’s more me than her. I feel as though I’m not the marriage type and I’m fine with that

fauxartist
fauxartist
in reply to Hidden

You've obviously moved on, and it's good that you are able to consider her feelings....but by not being up front with her now, it will just cause more hurt in the long run. Have an honest talk and try to not only think from your point of view only, as it's obvious your fine with being out of the marriage and she is not aware of this. Work out a realistic future and plan for it.....neither of you needs to waste any more time on a relationship that is going no where.

Hidden
Hidden
in reply to fauxartist

We aren’t married but that’s what we were working towards. Thank you for your insight I’m going t talk to her tonight

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