Getting worse

[BogartTilly]

I keep hoping that things will get better- but they are getting worse

I hate every day

My brother still will not talk to me even tho I tried to make peace

He avoids me

My sister in law will make small talk only

I stay in my bedroom, eat alone

I have two dogs to take care- thank god I have them

Everyone has faults and my family is not void of them

I don’t understand why they do not understand me and that something is going on with me

Instead if is you need to leave and go someplace else

You see we retired here without a mortgage and split the bills

I will have to go back to work find a place I can afford with my dogs and start again got the 4th time

I have always been the caretaker and have always supported my family when they needed it

Even if it meant I lived in another state

I have been thru a lot of things in my life and have had to go through them alone

That is the problem- I gave never had any type of support in my life and I guess being 64, I need something - at least understanding

They react to my withdrawing instead of trying to help me

I want to move but am limited with money so for now I have to stay here and I hate it

I need one on one counseling but cannot afford one

I gave no health insurance- due to being denied and I was not told until 120 days later why

I write things down, I go for walks, I go to al- anon meetings, and will talk to my pastor today

I am sick to my stomach, shaking, and more depressed each day

Sorry for the long post

[Lakewolf]

No problem. It’s what this site was created for.

[fauxartist]

I am so sorry your going through so much....and it really does sound like your not getting a break. I don't know what else to suggest other than possibly looking to rent a room in a home with other elderly women. It would be a communal living situation where you would not be expected to interact if you don't want to. You usually would pay a flat rate fee monthly, not too much, and it would include your utilities. I did this for a while, pd. 400.00 a month and made sure I had internet included. I was waiting to do a big move and only needed temporary housing and it actually worked out much better than I thought it would.

[BogartTilly in reply to fauxartist]

I will entertain that idea and look around

Thank you

[fauxartist in reply to BogartTilly]

I don't know what country your in, usa has craigs list, and in the uk I don't know what they have....hang in there.

[growinrace]

I am glad you are speaking to your Pastor. Is there a community of friends within your congregation who would want to split cost or perhaps that can rent you a room? Perhaps you could also start a women group who may be going through similar situation, gather at church and support one another? That helps me, going to life groups

[BogartTilly in reply to growinrace]

There is a counselor that comes to our church once a week for free

I have set up a day with her to meet

I am so glad I spoke to my pastor- he shed light on a lot of things