Getting worse and scared

[Existing]

I'm really watching myself deteriorate and rot over the 8 stagnant years of isolation. I have no one, no family, acquaintances, no one to have any real conversation with except my therapist. I have no options, when I reach out, no one to call and I'm often more depressed and alone when I try to go out I see cold dead empty people who don't see me. Most of my time is spent in my deep mind, searching online for the deep thoughts and theories about so many things that would help problems here ..if only there was someone interested.. I keep trying to pretend I can do something with here to help people like me with what we need here: connection, support, a place where people come together to make things better. I'm filled with all the endless ideas I have and mental health skills and knowledge from years of experience.. when I had a life.. and what I need to heal is what I need to share with others to heal.. if only people here realized this isn't all there is in life, the lives we could restore, it's killing me that I can't find anyone who even cares. I don't think I have much longer like this before I do the compassionate thing for myself. I can't stand watching myself grow old and slowly die as I get further away from this world lost in space

[LazyXrayEyes2255]

Oh, I feel sometimes like that but here is good place to get chatting and enough support. People you will get to know and care for and really gel with I hope you will give this site a chance and welcome to healthunlocked

[Itisok]

I joined online support groups that have helped me come out of isolation.

[MSanon in reply to Itisok]

Can you name some groups you recommend ?

[MSanon]

Existing, I am sorry you are feeling so down. I am in a rough patch myself. I previously subscribed to you due to some thoughtful posts you have done in the past.

If you want to chat sometime, just send me a message. We are all connected I think. Sending you light, and I wish you well. 💓

[worthytobeloved]

I care. xxx

[Franklin68]

Hello Existing

You sound a lot like me. Many people that are from our world have the ability to not just deep think ,but conceptualize and see things about our world and our society, that others don’t quite recognize.

Do you think your gifted that way?

[Franklin68 in reply to Franklin68]

DM me if you’d like. I can possibly share many things to help.

[Dr419]

you are valuable and will make it.

[CatsandCheese]

I am 62 and some days I feel exactly the same. I am saving your post to remember I am not alone. 💐

[Cookie2217]

Hi Existing. I feel similar at times too. I do have a husband who tries to understand and some friends that I can be real with about how I'm feeling. That helps a bit. I've been in a depressive episode since 2020. 5 long years already and it hasn't really gotten better. I did have a wonderful therapist Dr. Nover in 2023 but I moved to Pennsylvania and he doesn't practice here so I only was able to see him for a few months it was also extremely expensive at $250 per session and I really couldn't afford that either. However during that time I was able to journal quite frequently and even delve into childhood trauma and experiences from my youth and wrote both my mother and father a letter one to each. Each letter reference the type of abuse I suffered at their hands, how it made me feel and then I forgave them not for them but for me so I could begin the healing process. That was the last time I remember being hopeful about this depression. I recently switched medications again and now I'm taking Prozac 40 mg. I've tried other medications and they really have done nothing to help me and I'm at my wits end at what to do I do not have any interest in doing electro convulsive therapy. I think it is too evasive and from what I've heard people have lost their memory and it didn't really help them. I know that there's ketamine treatments out there too so that's something to think about. When I journaled daily and got those depressive feelings out I guess I did start to feel better so I'm going to start doing that again and see where it takes me. I also do breathing slow deep breaths in for 5 seconds holding it for 6 seconds and then letting it out slowly for 7 seconds and that usually helps with any anxieties that come up for me. I hope that's something I've said here helps you in some way because I hear the desperation in your post. If no one has ever told you this before I want you to know that you are worthy, you are enough and you are needed and wanted here. Please message me if you'd like to as I felt very similar feelings such as yours. This deep dark hole has got us swallowed and we need to figure out a way how to crawl out of it. Sometimes I don't see any point to things and I get down immediately it's like I don't look forward to a future and that's not good. There's always something to be thankful for and I need to start focusing more on that than the lies that the depression tells me. I wish you light and love during your journey here. This is a group where you can really meet some nice people that understand exactly where you're coming from I hope that it helps you it helps me. Please take care of yourself.

[Weatherwoman]

Hello: I do think that a lof of us on HU, and many people not on here, have felt like you, at times, some more than others. Anyway, I want to write just a few suggestions where you might connect. If you are in the U.S., I recommend an organization called, Nami.org --This is a mental health organization that has online, & in person groups --Good way to get out if you go to the in person, to connect, and maybe to make a friend --Another place I would recommend is: Emotions Anonymous (EA) this is a 12-Step program much like A.A.

I am sure that suggestions have been hurled your way volunteer, take a class of interest to you, etc. These are good suggestions, and you may have to force yourself to go, at first.

I am older than you, and take classes at the Senior Center which definitely help me get "out of my Own little world," meet people. I, also, joined a Grief Support Group as lost "MY Person," My Sig. Other two years ago. Lost my Mom, lost friends, some relatives.

I hope you find these & other posts on HU helpful. Hugs, W.W.

[BeagleHeart]

I can really relate to this though I'm probably not as wise. I spent so many years trying to understand the dysfunction in my family only for it to become a complete waste once my father passed while in my care back in 23'. What family I do have left decided to pilfer all they could or run for the hills, or both. If you ever find yourself lonely enough to chat with a total stranger, feel free to message me.

[Existing]

I want to let every kind soul who responded that I am a little too overwhelmed to respond in this moment, but I will. I always do, this forum has always been valuable to me.

[Piggybank2641]

Saying hello to you. Sending some positive thoughts your way. I am 70 living alone in Florida and been quite isolated for a while. Especially since 2020. Anxiety depression and chronic health concern. Going through the same. Hope you are doing better.