I'm new - don't have real life support - symptoms getting worse

[wbme]

Last night, every time I fell asleep, it was a new nightmare. All similar versions of the PTSD dreams that legitimately haunt me. Waking up didn't reset anything and the next time I went back to sleep, my brain started a new disaster dream. It's like this when I'm my most sick. There is no rest even if I lie there for 12 hours. The most traumatic themes of my life just loop over and over and over. There's never any relief.

I'm keeping myself up right now. I munched on some cheddar and sour cream chips but that didn't taste good. I'm trying little chocolate donuts now but after only half of one, I know this isn't going to calm me down either. I don't have in person support. I used to have great friends. Even after I started to pull away, they would message me online or call to check in for years. They finally stopped this past Spring.

I'm ok with being alone. I prefer it. I don't feel like I have the energy to be a friend. Plus, I don't think anyone can understand what I've been through unless they've lived it and I don't want them to understand. I don't want them to know how awful this all feels. I don't know what I want from this forum. My new therapist sent me the suggestion. I agreed to try it. This is me trying it. I guess this is where I'll start.

I appreciate the opportunity to join. I'm not sure how often I'll be here but I would like to be of support for others. I think that would help me feel not as useless as I've felt lately. Thanks, again, for the space to talk. I look forward to commenting some in the future. I hope it will help me feel less anxious. I hope it gives me a little more confidence to talk to people in real life too. Maybe one day I'll make it back to my friends.

[Thankfulforhelp22]

Welcome. I hope this forum will help you. I noticed you mentioned helping others. The desire to do that while you yourself are suffering is so very admirable.

I hope you come out of this very soon. I hope you find some help from the many good people who come here.

[Rosepetal60]

I’m sure there will be more replies soon, but in the meantime, I’d like to welcome you to this friendly forum that I pop into from time to time. What I find helpful is to make up my own dream whilst awake so my brain is concentrating on my own adventure or story. So the usual story is I’m by the seaside walking along the beach. I have a trusted friend who I see before I make my way to the Hotel where I am staying for the night and then I make my story go wherever I want it to. I imagine the layout inside the hotel. And save it in my memory for another night. And I’m always by the sea which would be great in real life. Well hope you have a bit of the picture. You’re in charge. Find your favourite scene or make one up. Enjoy adding to it with nice people along the way.

[Hidden]

Hi and welcome! I too have ptsd along with a long list of other things unfortunately but for me When I get the bad nightmares, which is often and when I wake up from them, I try to meditate some by imagining a beautiful ocean and the waves Coming along the beach and the peace that it brings me Sometimes helps me when I fall back to sleep! The ocean is very calming and I wish I could go but I tend to isolate from everything and I know that isn’t good to do! My dream is to go see the ocean again! I went back in 2014 with a friend and it was beautiful! I hope that you can also try to imagine something nice! Anything! And be be able to have good peaceful sleep ! -hugs-Shay

[Fefe09]

I want to pray over you my friend and let you know you are not alone. Whatever you have been thru just know you are not alone. I have had bad things happen to me growing up and it has haunted me and robbed me of happiness my whole life. But I have had to forgive the ones that hurt me even though it’s hard to but that’s the only way to break those chains. Right now I pray peace over your mind your body and your soul. I pray for all the negative in your mind to leave in Jesus name. I pray for a super natural healing that only our Father can do. No doctor . No therapy. No man can heal but our Heavenly Father can. I love you my friend and do me a favor will you tell God everything you’re going thru and read your Bible it’s the answer to everything……:.Everything. God bless you

[Hidden]

welcome! I’m new too. Having similar problems. I take sleeping meds that stop the night terrors. I still have flooding memories that play over and over again while I’m awake. I too have a safe place where I go to get some relief. It helps a little, but it never ends. Thank you for sharing. I’m usually here once a day if possible. I’m open to talking on a deeper level if you want to chat more. I hope the best for you.

[MSKgdn]

Welcome! You are not alone. Thank you for sharing. I have the same symptoms. It’s good to share and know that there are people out there that understand. It’s hard when the outside world expects you to be fine and you know you are not. You are brave for sharing what you are going through and know that there are people that understand. Sending hugs and understanding.

[dreap]

I have had wicked ptsd nightmares for about 25 years until they put me on Prazosin it t9ok away the nightmares as mine wouldn't stop and I used to sleep 2hrs a night or day. I would see my daughters swimming under glass and drowning in front of me and people being torn apart. It is a wonder drug for me, I'd ask your doc if things don't Settle as my dreams lead to alot of drinking that didn't need to happen. Head up!