friends leaving

[13rosa]

has anyone else experienced their friends neglecting them when they’re having a tough time?

my two best friends have never really been there for me emotionally, but after suffering serotonin syndrome when i was with them on holiday, i was extremely anxious and a bit delusional, thinking they hated me. however now that we’re home, i explained it to them and one of them read and hasn’t replied, and one replied to my long message with a very short and emotionless reply.

it’s all happening when i’m struggling very much with my mental health and i can’t help but wonder why me.

has anyone else experienced this before? i feel so profoundly alone in this world

[Hidden]

Hey I'm here for you!!! Maybe they aren't true friends & really you want people around who can be of support to you! My friends are on this site & nowhere else, so I understand how you feel! I'm sending you love, peace & joy!!! XXX

[Hidden]

Hello 13rosa!

I honestly believe that we scare our friends! They don’t know what to do to help us if they even get it. I think the social stigma is alive and well. They don’t understand and I’m not sure most care to. But that’s life in the fast lane!! 😎 Don’t take it too personally...those are the shallow friends that you really don’t need in your life anyway! Wishing you the best!!

[Hidden]

One of my best friends just told me to get over a traumatic experience like it was just spilled milk to be wiped up and forgotten about. Clue.. I looked back over the years and actually she was not there for me much, but I didn't notice because I was too busy being there for her. I finally ended the relationship and guess what she didn't even notice. My wish for you is better friends and peace.

[fauxartist in reply to Hidden]

you were wise to end that relationship.....it was one sided....and when you need someone to be there for you and they are not, even when they could be....then it's not a good friendship. It's good your sharing here with a bunch of people who have been told the same kinds of things' straighten up your back' ' don't you think other people have it harder in life'. the list is endless. Depression is not our fault, there is no cure, and the best we can hope for in life is learning to manage it. We all understand that.

[Hidden in reply to fauxartist]

In my whole life I never treated friends or family like that. I was always there for them. I once confided in my sister about something my father did and she told me, Even if she believed me she would be on his side. I looked at her and thought she should have kept that to herself, I considered that highly cruel.

Yes I believe sharing here is a good thing and very helpful as well. I am sure 13rosa and more share similar stories and that is why being in a place together we can help eachother. Thanks fauxartist.

[fauxartist in reply to Hidden]

family can be equally if not more so cruel because we would think our siblings or caregivers would be loyal.....my mother was my abuser....and when the one who is supposed to be protecting you from the evil that is out there in the world ...'Is the Evil'....it makes it very hard to trust anyone.

[fauxartist]

The issue is more of that I think they were on holiday, and if you were experiencing a breakdown.....it kind of makes it hard for anyone to enjoy their holiday if your not feeling well. And if they were looking forward to this holiday, then you have to give them some space around the fact that they really didn't get to enjoy it if you were sick the whole time.

It's unfortunate that most people who don't suffer from depression or anxiety can't really understand to begin with, but because they were on holiday and your having an breakdown kind of makes them not want to understand at that time. As much as you want them to understand, it's also understandable they may not want to. Your going to just have to accept that you tried to explain, and it's up to them whether or not they choose to accept it.

[hypercat54]

Hi I remember being on holiday with a good friend who suffers badly from hay fever and migraines. Having never suffered them before in my life I don't really understand how they must have made her feel. I was sympathetic though and her main aim was making sure my holiday wasn't ruined for me. I appreciated that so much. x

[Hidden]

Yes I’ve experienced this and have lost a lot of ‘friends’ because of it. I figured if i only see them when I’m happy and bubbly... but when I’m so low and hardly living it can go years and I don’t see them... then I don’t need them . And unfortunately this means not having many friends. Also I understand its hard to deal with someone who has depression but sorry that’s neither my fault or choice. Can’t deal with all of me? See ya👋🏽

But that’s just my opinion

[fauxartist in reply to Hidden]

I think that's why having a safe place to be whether we are on the up side or down side of this thing is important. Fair weather friends come and go. And the reality is, only a few people are going to be there for you no matter what. It's just normal, and in this world today,...it's rare. Here you can talk about the lows and the feelings your struggling with, and everything in between.....because we understand, we know.

[Posykelly]

I agree with GratitudeFirst that these things scare people sometimes. And they don't know how to deal with it.

They may have been upset that their vacation was effected, but tough tooties! If it was a broken leg, they would be much more understanding.

People who don't understand may not ever get it. Even family.

So many people in our lives will not understand that we (a.k.a. I, Me) will need to learn with whom to share, or to be quiet about it, or to let go from our lives, or to mourn when they leave us.

It looks like they are gone.

I think we all experience that. But it hurts so much. I felt very unlovable and unworthy. I am not, I am just a person with a chemical imbalance.

You are worthy of friends and love and compassion. If they cannot deal, it is unfortunate, but it does not make them or you a bad person.

[fauxartist in reply to Posykelly]

your dead right...we are lovable and do deserve to be loved....we just have to learn to accept those that are on the outer edges of our boundaries of our world we live in are not always going to accept that part of our personality, which includes the down side as well. And when we have other friends who also have this disease, it makes our life so much easier when we are understood. That's what makes this place unique and special....you have lots of understanding people here....so your never alone.

[Hidden]

Holidays come and holidays go.. I say keep your friends close especially in hard times as it is what they could have done for you.. Just a thought .. peace!

[Myraa_23]

"A friend in need is a friend indeed" . It is the foremost duty of a friend to stay when u really need their help . Otherwise it doesn't make any difference between friends and the other people around. I have experienced this things years back . Don't loose heart . Things will fall in place with time . 😇

[spilling-ink]

You're never alone! I had a friend who was like my sister for years and years - we did everything together, talked about everything together, were attached at the hip. Once I started really struggling with my mental health I dealt with it in the worst ways...substance abuse, self-harm, trying stupid things I would never do now. I decided to open up her to her one night in person and she said "I don't even know who you are anymore" and when she found out I was seeing the school counsellor she said my problems weren't big enough. So I decided to find out who my true friends are...because no one who says things like that is worth the time. I think maybe your friends don't quite understand or need time to process it, but if you feel they're not being accepting of you, don't let it take over your mind. Have confidence and know there are people out there will be true friends xoxo