Disappearing friends

[laurab13]

Has anyone felt like they’ve lost the friends who are supposed to be the closest to them simply because you live a few hours apart. It’s lonely having no friends in the new location and old location , I can’t explain how I’m feeling but I don’t feel great. I get great support from my partner but just wish I had that odd friend to be there for me like I always had been there for them 😢

[Stilltrying_]

It can be hard to maintain friendships and takes effort on both sides. Rightly or wrongly I mainly feel I am the one making most of the effort, but I accept that as I need people a lot and some people have a bigger need for "connection" than others. Also people live such busy lives and get tired ( I had thoroughly intended to phone a friend from this forum this evening and just feel too tired to do so); so I am guilty of not "keeping things up" sometimes myself.

I would just keep on trying to make the connection and make arrangements to phone/meet etc if it is important to you. You may find yourself making most of the effort but if at the end of the day it maintains the friendship then that is probably worth it I would say. x

[laurab13 in reply to Stilltrying_]

I’m always the one who has to make the effort first and this is what I’m now tired of cos I get nothing back 😣 and ive now stopped getting my hopes up when they say they’re coming up to visit but then don’t bother. It just becomes frustrating especially when it was someone I called my best friend and those who I wasn’t as close to make more of an effort .

[Stilltrying_ in reply to laurab13]

Yes I know, that is horrible. I'm sorry you're going through this 😣

[laurab13 in reply to Stilltrying_]

Thank you for acknowledging my rant though. There’s times when I feel like it doesn’t bother me then other times where it really gets me down

[Stilltrying_ in reply to laurab13]

You are doing yourself an injustice by calling it a "rant". It is a legitimate feeling to have and it hurts. x

[hypercat54]

My 2 best and oldest friends unfortunately live many miles away in different locations and we all find it hard to stay in touch. It doesn't really matter though as we would just pick up where we left off still very good mates.

I have made friends where I live and thought they were true as we were all together for around 15 years. Then they slowly drifted away. I have made more friends so I always have someone to go out for a drink with or to lunch etc. I wouldn't say they are very good friends but it doesn't matter coz we all get along well enough. Maybe you can manage to do that? I met 2 of them whilst working as a volunteer in a charity shop and a couple of fellow dog walkers. You need to get yourself out and about meeting people to find ones who could become friends. x

[kenster1]

real friends will always be real friends.sometimes jobs take people away family or moving home to say a few.but the ones that go forever are the ones who look out for you would help at every opportunity they can.im not on any social network sites so have lost touch with a few but we will be friends forever.

[gogogirl]

Hey,

I know long distance friends can be harder to keep in touch with, but I know from experience it is possible. It does take more planning of course. Nevertheless, your issue is real and quite common.

[weegmack]

I’m really sorry you feel so alone. It’s such a horrible feeling. It’s hard to make new friends when you move - we are moving next year and I’m quite worried about it.

I’ve lost many friends simply because I’m so depressed and anxious. They’ve basically all given up on me. I’m very isolated. Is this the same for you? Xx

[laurab13 in reply to weegmack]

Pretty much I feel like my anxiety has heightened and I literally do nothing or go hardly anywhere without my partner . I just wish I had that one friend I could go out with occasionally or have round to chat with x

[weegmack in reply to laurab13]

I’m the same. I find it very hard to go anywhere and I’ve basically been dropped by a group of friends I had. I know they still meet up once a week for coffee and they have just stopped asking me to come. It’s because I was cancelling a lot, or too afraid to go (I have IBS too). I’m amazed at how people can just turn their backs, rather than pop round and see what we’re going through.xx

[Hidden]

I understand how you feel. I lost what I thought was a friend last year & only lives a mile from me. I think female friendships are so important & I'll be your friend even though we don't live close to one another! I hope you have a beautiful day! Love, peace, light, joy & hugs!

[laurab13 in reply to Hidden]

Aawww that’s ever so sweet ❤️ thank you so much I really appreciate it x

[Hidden in reply to laurab13]

It's my pleasure! Have a beautiful day! Love, peace, light, joy & hugs!