Need advice regarding friends...

[Bettikins]

Hi everyone..... I have depression and wonder how does one handle friends and social situations. Do you let your friends know what you are going thru? I am very anxious that if they know I am not well that I might be alienated from them. I do mot want to lose any of my friends and do not want to burden them with the hell I am going through. I crave and want their company but do not want them to see this side of me that isn't my normal self. Any advise welcomed.

[blackcat64013]

Friends, in general, are more understanding about mental health than you would believe or give them credit for. The only problem is that they are not mind readers. This means that if you feel the depressed need for self isolation you need to talk to them if you feel comfortable doing so.

One of the things I have been encouraged to do is to be the one arrange get togethers when I am feeling better in myself. I also give myself permission to have the option taking up invitations or declining them

[Bettikins in reply to blackcat64013]

Thank you for that Blackcat.

I am not one to decline any invites as I like being around people.

[Nmyhead]

Hi I do not have very many friends but I have a boyfriend who I alienate when im depressed because I feel he doesn't get it and think I can snap out of it and I get angry and it does cause problems , for me at least .. you don't think your friends will understand if you told them you have depression its quite common these days ?

[Bettikins in reply to Nmyhead]

Thanks for your response.. I just think that they might not fully understand and move on to happier friends.

[Ilovepugs123]

Some friends will understand what you are going through and some won't. If your friends stopped being friends with you, then they are not your friends and better ones will come along. Some friends know when another friend is upset and if they haven't noticed you should tell them but from my experience I have told friends about my depression and honestly some people don't want to hear that and they have there own lifes and honestly if your depression is bad I would recommend you get a therapist because they are there for you and they give you advice and they can help you break out of that shell of meeting new people and talking to people. I am in therapy because i have no friends and i have issues and stuff and it really helps.

[Bettikins in reply to Ilovepugs123]

Hello Ilovepugs...thank you for your response. .you are so right..friends should always be friends. I did get a therapist and felt that it didn't go anywhere..just in circles. I agree that most people have enough on their plates today without hearing about my issues.

Ilovepugs you can always reach out to me

[Ilovepugs123 in reply to Bettikins]

Thank you, if you ever need more advice or you need someone to talk too, You can always reach out to me too. I hope that your friends will understand where you are coming from and help you out. I highly recommend getting a new therapist not all therapist are the same and if you get a new one maybe its a better experiences vs, what you had before with your therapist. I hope the best for you and I hope everything goes well.

[ElephantKid]

Try talking to them, or if you feel more comfortable, write them a letter. Good friends will support you through anything, the ones who don’t aren’t worth having. Just my advice <3

[Bettikins]

Thanks ElephantKid..one finds out who their true friends are through this. Some of my friendshipz go back over 40 years and they are dear to me.