Short break: I've been dealing with... - Anxiety and Depre...

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Short break

Lizcobain
Lizcobain

I've been dealing with this severe episode of depression for 2 to 3 months now. It has to be my absolute worst depressive episode I've ever experienced. Day after day i trudge on, hoping the next day will see the end of this spell. I saw a glimmer of hope, FINALLY, this morning when I woke up not wishing for the day to already be over. No anxiety or sadness or worry or fear welcomed me the moment my eyes opened up, as they usually do. Other than just being "content" I did feel a bit of fear. Fear that this unusual (for me) mood would just disappear as quickly as it had appeared. I went about my morning routine, even getting out to the store without feeling any sort of anxiety (which is the norm for me on most other days.) For 4 hours (yes I counted) I was ok. Being just ok was good enough for me! And then it all ended. I had overheard something I'm sure I wasn't meant to hear. Probably would better if I hadnt heard it. It was too late though. The damage of those few words was done and I went spiralling back down to where I seem to belong now- a-days. Depressed. It shows that the power of a few words can seriously alter or damage the mindset of people suffering from depression/ anxiety. Not everyone can see or understand that though. It was a short break, 4 hours of simplicity. 4 hours of what many other people take for granted. It was like being stuck in heavy storms and now there's a break in the clouds. I got to see a little bit of the light. And just like that....it's gone. All I can do is try to be hopeful again.

5 Replies
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I’m sorry Lizcobain. I hope that those 4 hours you were happy give you hope that you can be happy again. Take Care!

Hidden
Hidden

I went through months of dark depression, it truly is awful. It doesn’t last forever though and the breaks you get last longer. I recommend you watch Douglas Bloch on YouTube, he has had a few very bad episodes of depression and goes into coping strategies as well as encouragement. Medication also helps, I started lexparo and it greatly helped the depression to lift. I also have a faith that has gotten me through the worst days.

Lizcobain
Lizcobain
in reply to Hidden

Thank you for the recommendations. I will definitely check out Douglas Bloch!

Hi there. Am going through a similar phase and I just want you to know that you are not alone. Big hug. I understand exactly what you are going through. Every small thing causes me anxiety and when I have relief for a bit, am constantly watchful to see that it doesn't recur. But things will get better for all of us... I know it will. Big hug

Sorry Lizcobain..

remember the saying "what we don't know, can't hurt us'...kind of applies right, had you not overheard what you did..wrong place at the wrong time...try to put whatever you heard into some kind of perspective, if that's at all possible? Perhaps consider the source it came from, then try to let go a little at a time, again easier said then done? I pray you find the inner strength to accept and move on, it's really all that most of us can do. Thanks for listening, wishing everyone well.

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