new and unsure

[hopeful216]

hi, i’m new to this app. i’ve been reading everyone’s posts for the past few days and finally think it’s time i post something of my own. i’m not sure how much i can or can’t reveal on here but i think it’s okay to say i’m a college student and i go to school in a big city and i’m currently in said city for the summer as well. last fall i finally opened up to my family about how i’ve been suffering mentally for years, as far back as early middle school. i’m not professionally diagnosed but i have anxiety and depression and after opening up to my parents i began going to a therapist. she has been helpful in that i have someone to talk to and a outlet in which i can express myself but there’s something off about our sessions and it’s hard to describe but i just don’t think i’m getting the help i really need. ever since the school year ended, my friends all left the city to go home or to go abroad and with my family hours away i’ve been feeling so lonely and empty. i find myself struggling to sleep at night but then sleeping through the day and finding it difficult to get out of bed or go outside. i’ve experienced this many times in the past but this is the darkest place i have ever been in and i don’t know what to do. i think that maybe i should go to a psychiatrist and just get a different experience as my current therapist is the only one i’ve ever been to...or am i over reacting? how would i even go about telling my therapist that i no longer wish to continue our appointments? this situation has been constantly plaguing me for a few weeks and i’m hoping that someone here can help. thank you for listening/reading. positive energy to all.xx

[IAMDONE]

Hi there!

I just joined up a few minutes ago because I’m unable to sleep tonight.

I want you to know to keep the thoughts happy, and to not take it to hard on yourself when you get in a lil slump. Life has its ups and downs, and sometimes we have huge honking rollercoaster type slumps and dips and drop offs.

Most importantly, don’t give in to the idea that you are in some way “substandard” or “less than perfect” because you have depression. I also have times of depression, especially now that I’m 40.

I just wanted to let you know that we are more normal than the fakes who claim they never have had a day of depression in their lives. Let’s stay cheerful and cheerfully kick depression’s butt together!

Love,

Just a silly old mom of teenage boys in the middle of a midwestern mole hole.

[J_Hermann]

I totally identify with that. I'm in this same exact fix. Actually it feels like you just described my mind right now. But, I'm thining you might perhaps try to raise these concerns with your therapist? Perhaps there is some useful bit of info they have not got from you 'coz you haven't communicated that to them? It's exhausting but I thin it's worth a try. (I feel like I'm just telling myself that)

[RAB888]

Hi

I have suffered with anxiety, depression, insomnia, severe stress in the past. I used to think it was due to what was happening to me, circumstances such as people, job, tragic events.

I now know that is not true. They are definitely in the past as I can see that our experience comes from the 'inside out '.

There are over 400 types of therapy, so why do we seem to hear an increasing number of people needlessly suffering with mental health issues? Because all these therapies are based on 'outside in' way of trying to deal with them.

Understanding the nature of thought can allow these issues to disappear

[IAMDONE in reply to RAB888]

Sounds like some wise advice to me.

[RAB888 in reply to IAMDONE]

If you want more 'wise advice ' just send me a message 🙂

[old-soul]

There are an awful lot of stresses in modern life. 10 times more people on the same sized planet in 200 years flat is one of them. Collapsing banking institutions, increased numbers of people loosing their homes do to unfair lending practices, school shootings, rising suicide rates and a sharp increase in the number of people having health issues of every description INCLUDING mental health are all, actual, real live facts for all of us all over the globe for any human being living in the year 2018.

I actually believe there is some good news in all of this, and that is; that when societies begin to feel enough pain by doing things "the way they have always been done," that pain is the catalyst that allows people to break out of old thinking patterns that simply do not work, and become willing to try new things, like being nice to a neighbor I don't particularly care for simply because it IS the right thing to do.

Health Unlocked and and the Anxiety and Depression Association of America are certainly embracing a far more opened "People-Directed care and support network," type model that was previously held to very small groups of paid clients closely scrutinized by medical or psychological professionals.

That is still different from a completely un-moderated group on any number of general social networking systems too, though, which is really very important.

I don't personally carry medical malpractice insurance, nor do I have any sort of accredited pharmacological training, so I am VERY reluctant to give any "advice" about drugs except to say, "I know that a lot of diagnosed 'mental issues' are actually normal human cognitive responses to un-reasonable levels of stress, abuse, mis-trust, fear, anger and selfishness that exists in society as a whole, and I have personally been subjected to some medication choices that were not at all appropriate to my care.

there is no drug you can give a person that alleviates the abuses of a narcissistic, sex-addicted and alcoholic parent, for example. I know by my own experience that no drug they ever gave me solved the fact that this was what was going on in my home as a pre-ten and teen, nor does it resolve the issue that his behaviors and attacks on my credibility and charactor still persist after nearly 50 years.

The fact that addictions, obsessive behaviors, suicides, depression, anxiety and many other similar manifestations have been on the rise rapidly all over the globe, as I said, comes as no surprise to me. But I DO believe that it really IS always . . .

. . . Darkest before the dawn.

Now I'll take three deep breaths, and do what I always do just before I go grocery shopping. I make sure the kitchen is 100% re-set - every dish washed, dried and put away - all of the counter-tops cleared and wiped down - stove top 100% cleaned and burner pans soaking if needed - refrigerator wipe down inside and out - and of course, the grocery list made. (There are a few other hit-list items like trash out etc, but don't want to bore you)

I bought a new (very old) cook book the other day and may peruse it and treat myself to the fixings for a new (hundred + year old) recipe if anything jumps off the pages at me. Quail, grouse or rabbit are not something I am likely to find at my local grocer, but there are lots of recipes that aren't poultry, and you can always substitute cat for rabbit. (JUST KIDDING!) :o)~

Re: a therapist that may/mat not be a good match, or whatever . . .

Therapy is more about what you put into it, and it's not a perfect science at all. A counselor, psychologist and a psychologist all have a personality just like we do, and not every dynamic is perfect. in fact, few if any are actually "perfect," but you're TALKING, and talking with a professional that is bound by certain laws and practices, particularly where confidentiality is concerned, so I would not give up, nor make any changes in the 1st 6 months, or perhaps even a year, just so long as you feel you are making progress AT TIMES.

Often in our journey, we as people sometimes hit plateaus. These are periods of time where, after having felt some real progress, we keep going, but it may feel like we're getting no-where for a rather long period. Sometimes this is just an illusion though, and we suddenly make several discoveries that are VERY helpful all at once, realizing in retrospect that, during that long period where it felt like we were getting no-where, we had actually laid ALL of the groundwork we needed to make out next big leap forward, upward, and out of the pit!

Tie a knot and hang on. We really are all in this together, you know!