I’m new here, but I’m really struggling and could use some support

[sadclown23]

I’ve been depressed for most of my life but recent years have taken a turn for the worse.

I’m going through a break up, which I feel responsible for because I’m having mental health issues and it was too much for my partner.

I’m not making enough money, but I’m barely functioning well enough to work the one job I have, let alone two.

I’m also trying to go back to school because my life won’t get any better until I can change careers and make more money.

And I’ve just been growing increasingly more depressed as my life gets worse and worse.

I’ve been on medication that has been causing a lot of problems and side effects and I believe I have been on without due cause.

Now I’m trying to come off of a mood stabilizer that I shouldn’t ever have been on in the first place and it’s the worst thing I’ve ever experienced.

I thought my depression was bad, but it’s only gotten worse.

I wish I could afford to go to the hospital for inpatient psychiatric care for a week or so but I can’t afford it.

I feel like I’m just going to have to suffer forever.

There doesn’t seem to be any solutions.

[gajh]

Welcome. I am sorry that you are suffering. I am glad you found your way to this site. You are not alone. Being able to share and learn from other's experiences is so very helpful. There is so much support here. Things can get better for you. Some people here have come off of their mood stabilizers successfully. Hopefully you can connect with them and get some support. I hope this site is as helpful for you as it has been for me. Just connecting with people who truly understand has been amazing.

[Ellamaye]

You sound like your putting yourself under alot if pressure. If your coping with mental illness and trying to work hard and go back to studying... its too much .

[sadclown23 in reply to Ellamaye]

I feel like, if I don’t work to try to make changes in my life, then nothing will ever get better and I’ll just be stuck here forever

[Ellamaye in reply to sadclown23]

Now that sounds positive. Sorry I wasn't being mean I just read post and it sounds like it was all piling up on you and sometimes that's how people crumble

[Ellamaye in reply to sadclown23]

What mood stabiliser? Btw I am currently taking mirtazapine 15mg at night. Used to take certraline it did nothing

[sadclown23 in reply to Ellamaye]

I’m trying to taper off if ziprasidone. I should never have been on it in the first place. I’m not schizophrenic or bi polar.

[Ellamaye in reply to sadclown23]

I've actually never heard of that but schizophrenia is a serious diagnosis. So is bi polar did they tell you at the time that's what the meds were for?

[sadclown23]

no they never gave me a diagnosis.

I don’t have episodes of mania or hallucinations, and I never have.

I do have treatment resistant depression and I struggle with emotional regulation due to autism.

That’s what the meds were supposed to help with, but they were really just making it increasingly difficult for me to function.

Every time I mentioned to my doctor that my depression was getting worse, they would just increase my dose of ziprasidone.

Im also on strattera for adhd. But I wasn’t actually on any medication for depression.

I just started seeing a new psychiatrist and they had me start taking lexapro and begin tapering off the other meds