I just met with my therapist and she agrees that I should seek a higher level of care. If I stick to my day to day routine I have no anxiety. I can manage it. But anything out of that or out of my comfort zone causes anxiety. For a while I’ve been avoiding a higher level of care. My therapist said my way of doing things isn’t working and I need to change something. Together we found some programs. I am a teacher and already committed to teaching summer school so I wanted and evening program. My therapist told me that I if I can’t find that I should consider taking summer school off to go to a program. Luckily I found a program that meets three times a week in the afternoon/evening for three hours each day. I scheduled an intake and will be starting the program in July. I am embarrassed I have to do this and nervous to start this journey. I’m also worried it won’t work because it isn’t as intense as some of the daytime programs. I’m also just ashamed because I don’t want me boyfriend to think I’m a freak for going this.
I’m also still extremely tired and I’m hoping it’s just from my trip and anxiety, and not covid. I want to sleep all day but I know I shouldn’t.
Sorry for the rant!
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Daisy425
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Your body has been through a lot and you need to recharge.
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The more sleep that you get in the mean time, the less (hopefully) that you will feel anxious, stressed, and jetlagged over the next day or two because your body (most likely) will be getting back into its usual routine.
my therapy session was just challenging today. My therapist told me if this doesn’t work we will needed an even higher level of care. So now all I can think about is what if this group doesn’t help me
"So now all I can think about is what if this group doesn’t help me"
The more that I see you talk, the more that I see a younger female version on me.
& It's not even just this quote, it's other things that I've noticed that you have written in the past.
Seriously.. I feel like I'm watching the younger version of myself from a couple of decades ago trying to figure things out.
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Except that for many many many months (almost 8 total back then), I was left completely in the dark with nobody to help me out.
The local libraries had hardly any books on anxiety, there wasn't any youtube, definitely no online support groups, or as many meds as now, and "my world" around me was kind of unsupportive back then.
It wasn't until I found my previous support group, that I started to see some light.
But that's a long story for another day for you to hear.
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Until then, you still need your rest, so your body can (hopefully) finally balance out from your recent trip.
Don't let embarrassment stop you from trying to get better. Being proactive to try to have a better life is nothing to be ashamed of. In fact, it takes guts to overcome the obstacles the mind will throw at you to discourage you.
Embarrassment and shame (self-imposed) have kicked my ass at times and robbed me of some things that would have been positive. I'm still working on this, but I do a little better than I used to. Don't worry what others think.
Maybe think of it as an educational opportunity to learn better coping skills? I could use that type of a group lol. You don’t need to tell friends/ colleagues if you feel embarrassed or call it a retreat to help re-charge yourself if people ask. It’s not their business and a group 3x/ 3 hours a week is a retreat in my opinion to help you. There’s nothing to be embarrassed about. Best wishes and hope it’s an awesome group. .
It's not 'filling time and not thinking'. The group is to help her with coping skills and she will have to think and interact with others. Sometimes having 'just' a therapist isn't enough. She stated it meets 3x/week.
That sound awesome Daisy. Honestly be proud not embarrassed. You’re treating your mental health, working and on track and willing to listen to therapy and try different things to help. Don’t over think it, say it will be good and try it out. Best foot forward. 💪🏻
It's understandable that you are in doubt about the program, but you might be surprised at how well it can work. You will meet others who, like you, struggle with issues, learn from their experience and share yours (if you wish). You will also learn concrete methods of coping with various situations. It may turn into a very positive experience.As to your boyfriend, do you want to be attached to someone who isn't supportive of your wellbeing (if he demonstrates negative sentiments toward your plan)? It's a pivotal point in your relationship.
I'm glad you are on it already. Engaging yourself with some activities is a greater part of the healing process and I'm so proud of you. Please don't be ashamed of yourself because you are on the right track.
I had anxiety issues and a strong need to control and part of my healing has been in realizing how lacking in self-worth and self-validation I had and the need for approval from others. I grew up in an emotionally repressive household and was shamed and punished for showing any signs of being proud of myself or trying to stand up for myself so consequently I had no self-esteem or self compassion. You might benefit from spending some time cultivating this for yourself, there are a number of books on it and also a lot of good info on youtube. I particularly like the youtubes of Julia Kristina, Bernadette Logue and Dr. Bernadette Sewell, I did her Break Free program which was quite helpful.
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Alone and desperate 
Spouse doesn’t understand.
Do I need medicine 
