Therapist, sis and bro and now uncle- losses ...processing

[Starrlight]

I thought she was the best ever and I trusted her until one day she said “I am just being honest” as I cried, saying stuff like “I don’t know how else I can help you”

“Maybe you would do better with someone else” basically trying to dump me. I said I can work on why I self-sabatoge and I’m sorry I’m difficult but then I noticed I was feeling bad talking to her and I think it’s time for a new therapist which she suggested. I canceled the last appointment we set up. I was too tired sick and not wanting to talk. I think I’m done with her. She wants that and so do I I just know how hard it is to let a new therapist in when I have little trust and I have to have one or I can’t keep getting my meds at this center. I think I need a break from therapists. But I don’t think it’s an option. So I’ll eventually go to another therapist. Sad. Really she was like an earth angel to me for a few years and now she has changed to a devil - that’s how I feel. 😇 👿

It’s sucky timing because I lost my brother April 15th and am loosing my mom as she sinks deeper into Alzheimer’s and lost my sis because she’s a bitch to me and won’t apologize or try to patch things up because oh she’s never wrong and how dare me stay so...

My uncle just passed too, the cool one who doesn’t talk shit about me like the other

sadness 😞

But I’m strong and will get alongdealing with one thing at a time with the support of you guys here thanks for your awesomeness

[Hidden]

There is always a chance that a new therapist may be more help to you. A new perspective and outlook could be in your future. This was my experience.

[Starrlight in reply to Hidden]

Yeah I think it’s best. Thank you.

[Hidden in reply to Starrlight]

reverse chairs- be therapist to urself and say what u need to hear

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

so profuundly sad and sorry for the losses of ur family must be devistating....49 thousand people share ur loss and hold u and hold u and stand in ur loved ones honor....planting trees intheirmemory is but 9 dollars per in any national forest....just a thooughr.....what are ur suggestrions

evreyone here sends out their herat support that stayw with u and cant be washed off by anyone bad.

[RemySue]

I have never had this happen, but I have been the one to drop a therapist. I hope you find a new one soon, and feel better,

[Starrlight in reply to RemySue]

Thnx

[Blueruth]

That your therapist was open and honest is a gift. Therapy needs to evolve in order to be successful. If you going in circles or not moving at all it is time. Maybe you take a break and do some other type of therapy?

[Starrlight in reply to Blueruth]

I can see that. I don’t like the way she treated me on a particular day but she was a gift. It is time to move on. I’ve gotten so far with her. I’m a different person now. I’m thankful But maybe she wants to see me move on even more and feels I could better do that with someone else. Or maybe she got sick of me. Well I’m trying my best so...

[Blueruth in reply to Starrlight]

That sounds right. If it were me I would want to see my clients succeed. I’m sure her comfort is not the reason.

I have learned to embrace different avenues of life learning as equal to talk therapy. Therapy for me is a good way to work out some things, maybe check in but it doesn’t need to be constant. I have gone to brene brown workshop and readings, Dbt classes, art therapy, straight up yoga 5 times a week and now physical therapy. Not all of them useful. It is still All training for a life long journey however. Brene gave me skills in resilience. Yoga is powerful for grief, particularly yin and restorative. There is a growing field of trained advisers combining yoga and therapy. Building physical core is just as important as improving your mind and spirit. I hope that gives you some ideas.

[c-mac in reply to Blueruth]

I like the idea of yoga + therapy!

[Hidden in reply to Starrlight]

(or sensing her own self doubts or sensing but not kowing how to find the righrt words or

may be she is sick of u at all....can be a counselors own humnity...or self doubts ...

why women ofrten have to talk to other women who have had child losses....really cn any one realllllly undersrand who hasnt lost a beloved........all words seem so inaduaate so insuling.......what can u psosibly say

[Dolphin14]

(((((⭐️)))))

I know the struggles you've had lately. That's 3 losses. Your therapist, your sister and your uncle.

I'm here for you as you navigate all these changes.

❤️🐬

[Starrlight]

Thank you (((((((((((( 🐬 )))))))))))) my friend. My other uncle who talks shit and who people dislike comes by and showed me a picture of the scene just after my other uncle who died was removed from his floor. Omg why did he do that? Oh well I’ll try to just recall what a beautiful person he seemed to be and how he seemed so grateful when I gave him Christmas presents at his last visit. I pray for him just incase although I have no religion. I can relate to him- he also had s mood disorder- but he did his best and I hope he is in a good place now. From what I hear he was in a good place before he died. I am grateful for you being here who I know I can talk to about the hard stuff.

[Hidden in reply to Starrlight]

name a star after him so u can still be with him every night -- just a thought

[Daesin]

As hard as this message hit you she’s doing the kindest thing she can.

I know but hear me out…

She has given you every ounce of her energy and everything out of her toolbox that she can. Now she has to pass you to somebody new so that you can continue your healing. If she didn’t care about you she would continue to suck your insurance for money and watch you stagnate. Or worse regress.

What she’s doing shows that she cares about you. She wants the best for you. Don’t think bad thoughts on her. It sounds like she’s being extremely ethical and professional and looking out for you the best she can.

It’s not easy to send a patient to someone else after you have built that relationship and you understand their focus and issues. Sometimes you actually look forward to certain clients on the schedule.

Please use this change as a way of growing. Use this time to expand your toolbox and stretch your muscles and abilities.

[Starrlight in reply to Daesin]

Thanks for that insight. It was def hard when she told me and I fought her. I think I may take your advice and her advice and although it’s scary I will move forward the best I can. I feel strong enough with this now and confident enough to voice it to her. I will tell her how I appreciate her honesty and for voicing what she thinks is best. I will let go.

[Daesin in reply to Starrlight]

I always love the phrase, but hate having to live it….We do not change when we are comfortable.

Please do tell her how you feel. How she has helped get you this far. It will mean something to her.

It sounds like you are on your way. Good for you. Keep us updated.

[Starrlight in reply to Daesin]

Thanks! I wrote to her and explained that I understand now and named the good reasons why she is letting me go and thanked her for everything she has done to get me far from when we first met. I think she will be happy with that.

[Daesin]

Keep a copy of it for yourself so that you can refer back to it when you start feeling like you haven’t advanced.

[Nothing_but_books]

So much happening at once. I couldn't tell from what you said if your therapist left you a choice, but it sounds as though you made it anyway. That's hard to do at any time, harder now with all the loss you're living with. The trust issues you mentioned... Maybe take it more easy on yourself? I'm not sure trust shouldn't be earned. There is bad in the world.

[Starrlight in reply to Nothing_but_books]

Yes how did you know the hard thing I need to do more of is take it easy on myself. I’m good at giving myself a hard time I hope you are taking care of yourself...

[Nothing_but_books in reply to Starrlight]

I didn't know, but there is enough to deal with without adding to the pile, right?

I'm completely out of ideas how to take care of myself today. When the pain hits a certain level, my working mind goes on vacation and I live on stress. I'm hoping tomorrow won't start the same. It's all random, no way to know what I'm gonna get.

[Starrlight in reply to Nothing_but_books]

Make sure you are positive self talking. Build yourself up. You are stronger than you think.

[Nothing_but_books in reply to Starrlight]

I like that you are here to show us how. Not empty flattery, I'm grateful.