I thought that a long weekend would help me feel better, but all I want to do is sob. I can’t remember the last time I really felt like smiling without having to force it. I have never felt with depression, but I am afraid that I am sliding down that slippery slope. I just feel that my being has shattered in to a million tiny pieces that I can’t put back together again. On Thursday I received an email from my principal letting me know I’m being put on a formal improvement plan. I am really not completely sure what this means, I just know that apparently I have not lived up to her ever changing expectations. How on earth do you please someone who can’t be pleased??? I feel as though I have done everything she has asked of me, but it is so hard to really know as her ideas of what she wants me to do/how she wants me to teach my small groups is ever changing. My head is spinning and I am miserable. I am not myself and I’m sooooo tired of this vicious anxiety/depression rollercoaster I have been on for months. I LOVE what I do and I can’t imagine doing anything else, but I’m starting to seriously rethink my career choice after 18 yrs. it makes me really sad.
Thanks for letting me get this off my chest/vent a little.