ahhhhh. i should go to my work place but just cant move...

[Orangeblossom85]

oh dear family forum

why am i this way ?

i should go to my work place yesterday to talk to my boss about returning after two months sick leave.. she wants me to call her - NO WAY, i would just die to do that... she wants me to come down and pick up the form for the doctor that i am allowed to work on night shifts (i shouldnt cause it worsen the depression but you know how it is with work)...

i have no idea how to go there. i dont know what should i say to her. cause i see no way to tell her that i suffer from depression and personality disorder... haha, avoidant! i feel so bad. i would do everything to just quit my life just now. without going again through all of these horrible stresses that are just hanging upon me...

there is a letter waiting for me at the post office. i have no idea what that is but i fear that its another court warrant about my unpaid bills.

i fear that no matter what i do the situation is not going to be ever repaired. i have no money to pay it all. the debts all rise. and i fear that i will go to jail any way.

there is so many people that wish me the worst. they dont wish me to die. they wish me to suffer... im afraid to walk the streets of my town. and i live in huge city of million people. i fear that i will be beaten up again. called whore. called liar. cheater..

i really dont know what can i do to REPAIR my life.

and how to GO TO TALK TO MY BOSS.... everything tells me that they will fire me anyway....

[Orangeblossom85]

So: no one said anything to me, I’ve been there one minute, signed that I received a paper for medical assessment and left. My boss just told me: you are now on your vacation so bring the paper when you have it done.

[Hidden in reply to Orangeblossom85]

Are you feeling any better? XXX

[Sillysausage234 in reply to Orangeblossom85]

Go girl...........all that weight lifted fly around like a bird now

[Orangeblossom85 in reply to Sillysausage234]

Now the same stress will happen again when I bring the paper... I’m pathetic

[Sillysausage234 in reply to Orangeblossom85]

That’s your opinion...you can change that

[Hidden in reply to Orangeblossom85]

You have to feed the positive into your mind...you sure aren't pathetic..then I would be too....nope we are great! XXX

[Orangeblossom85 in reply to Hidden]

Big smile to you!!!

[Hidden in reply to Orangeblossom85]

A big smile right back to lovely you! Love, peace, light, joy & hugs!

[Sillysausage234 in reply to Hidden]

Yeah and music 🎶✌🏼😀

[Hidden in reply to Sillysausage234]

Oh always tunes and more tunes..never get enough of them! Love ya dear!

[aaronm]

I'm sorry you've had a bad morning. Message me if you need an uplifting. We can talk anytime.

[Hidden]

Hey love, how are you feeling today

[Orangeblossom85 in reply to Hidden]

Danielle! Thank you sooooo do much!!! ❤️ after last week full of darkest thoughts I decided to keep close to people the entire day, I stayed with two my friends and took care of my tiny cousin. I even laughed!! To the point that my belly ached

I’m afraid of tomorrow but I certainly will try hard to just “be”.

You? :*

[Hidden in reply to Orangeblossom85]

Laughing is good sweetie, you deserved that i hope tomorrow is even better for you 😙😙. I have a cold so I'm a little down today