Anxiety and Depression Support
18,547 members • 15,227 posts

Alone

Hi 👋🏽

I don’t even know what to say .

Basically I just feel so alone . I was born with a lung condition because of which I didn’t go to uni (catch infections) and then when i tried to work I kept on catching infections and with the help of my consultant had to accept that i need to stop working.

All my friends and cousins were working, going to uni , etc but i was feeling more and more isolated .

I slowly began to lose friends. I isolated myself so much to the point where i was in bed for 2 years only got up to go to the bathroom. I hardly ate or anything.

I also went through something quite traumatic as a child so everything in my life seem to build up inside me until one day i jut gave up and refused to live.. just stayed in bed.

I eventually got married and with this new journey came traveling ( I finally got permission to travel from my consultant) so it was a lot of first times for me with a lot of things . I am so happy my husband is amazing.

But I can’t help to feel lonely . I need friends but am way too shy to make any . My ‘friends’ from school time seem to only get in touch if they need anything.

I hardly go out . Because of my teen years in bed I didn’t learn to drive and now I’ve lost the confidence in that too . So I’m not independent due to that.

I couldn’t even think about public transport without breaking out into sweats

I suppose I’m just bored and lonely

My husband gives me all sorts of suggestions but I just can’t seem to start anything 😢

I must admit I’ve improved a lot since being with my hubby but the loneliness and lack of friends is really taking a toll on me x

Big hugs to all xx i hope the best for you all xx

19 Replies
oldest • newest

Is there any way you can do some volunteering in your local area? You'll be doing some good, and meet some nice people at the same time.

2 likes
Reply

Hi thank you for your reply I really do appreciate it x

I have done volunteering before and thats how I managed to meet my husband. But again its so hard to find a place that won’t make me ill. I basically have no filter so any bugs and germs go straight to my lungs and I end up with big chest infections/pneumonia and in hospital for weeks.

Also I do feel ashamed.. because its not an illness you can see and i just look like an average 26 year old woman I feel like maybe people might judge me for not having a job .. or I think socially I might be awkward or something and they might think that of me

It sounds so silly as i type ...

Reply

I don't want to suggest something that would endanger your health. Maybe you could talk to your doctor about what kinds of activities would be safe.

There is certainly nothing to be ashamed of. You have this condition through no fault of your own. I wish you well.

1 like
Reply

Thank you so much

I will look into volunteering again and try to get past being ashamed.

Will keep you updated if i ever find the confidence to get back out there again and volunteer!

Take care

Reply

You are welcome to message me anytime. Good luck!

Reply

Would wearing a mask be of any help?

1 like
Reply

Thats a good idea ! Thank you x

Will look into that

Appreciate it

Reply

Thk you ,you also

1 like
Reply

Same My faith and hubby got me through it. But the loneliness is still there. .

But hey don’t lose hope . We cannot see the future but hopefully we can all get through this and become stronger and improve every day x

Baby steps is what I tell myself x

2 likes
Reply

Hey when you have faith you are never completely alone! The one that really matters is with you

But I understand what you mean .. holidays really are the most depressing for me ... even though we have family gatherings thats where I feel the most loneliest surprisingly...

I dread it

1 like
Reply

Can you try to make friends with 1 or 2 of the forgotten people? Just introduce yourself if you can get yourself to do that. They probably feel lonely, too. Easter's here. Maybe a good opportunity!

Reply

I did grow up catholic & attended the church again until several years ago. I was hoping maybe they were a little more forgiving by now. Our church even had a few social events. It's hard feeling alone. I just figured the old folks could use a friend, too. I do hope you are able to meet a new friend, soon. Take care.

Reply

I understand that feeling of loneliness. I have it often and do also have trouble making friends. I have tried having a book club; you could offer to host at your house if it is more comfortable. I loose myself in books and movies a lot since I have had to stop working. Feel free to message me anytime you feel alone.

1 like
Reply

I absolutely love books too .. i too get completely lost in them x

We recently moved into our own home so I’m new to this neighbourhood. I don’t know anyone and nobody has bothered to come day Hi or anything lol... so I’m still not sure about clubs or anything available around here . I need to find out x

Thanks for replying x

Anyone is free to message me for a chat whenever they want or need to xx 😊

Reply

You're welcome. Try the local library. They have a lot of clubs and such.

1 like
Reply

I will do x

Reply

Counseling may help you. You’ll learn to take little steps and how to make friends, plus how to cope with your social anxiety.

1 like
Reply

Thank you xx

Reply

I only have a boyfriend. He has a lot of positive vibes. Like his hyper levels were my levels when I was younger. Like high school young.

Now I'm just overwhelmed with all these new stuff going on.

I even lessened my time for work so I can be better rested when I go home.

I am still only getting up for bathroom and sometimes water...

Idk how old you are but I'm 23 and it feels like my life is going down a spiral.

I have a job that will be switched to day shift.. I'm writing this in break currently.

I hate how my bf is working on times in not.

So I immediately feel jealous and all that jazz.

He's pretty cool with all sorts of people. Me...ehh.... Only a few like me now.

It's hard to make friends closer to me. My friend is in different timezone...

I try to keep my mind positive but negative argues with my optimistic part of me...

I hope you feel better. I'd like friends too.

1 like
Reply

You may also like...