Is anyone completely alone. - Anxiety and Depre...

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Is anyone completely alone.

Shutterbug65
Shutterbug65

Does anyone dread the weekend because your life is empty of friends and family? I do, and Im not happy with my job. Those of you who read my post know how lonely I am. I feel like everyone I know is more successful than me, they have families and friends and most of all have done well in life. My life is so empty and sad. I’ve had anxiety and depression for so long now and I’m tired of going on like this. I want it to end.

I wish I was young again, but most importantly having friends and family. I never thought I would be this lonely. I’m scared of what will become of me. Please I need help.

22 Replies
Hidden
Hidden

Hi Shutterbug65!

I hate that you feel so empty and lonely. Please don’t allow yourself to compare your life to that of others. It’s not a healthy thing to do. We’re all different and that’s the beauty of life! Try sitting down when you’re feeling that way and seriously exercise some gratitude for all of your blessings and the fantastic works of nature and music. Don’t knock it until you try it! I know I sound like a hippie, but taking nature in with all of your senses gives off an aura of healing! Gratitude is quite powerful. It’s hard to feel sorry for ourselves when we’re busy being grateful! I wish acceptance and peace for you!!

Shutterbug65
Shutterbug65 in reply to Hidden

Thank you so much for your wonderful response. Your right it’s not a healthy way to live ones life. But I’m constantly looking back on my life and realizing all the missed opportunities I had. I’ve lived many years with anxiety/depression and it’s taken its toll. I go on fb and I see all the posting from my cousins. And they post a lot of pics or stories of their kids accomplishments and I get it, there proud of that. But at the same time I rarely post anything. Nothing to say.

I’m just full of regrets I guess. And I would have liked to have gotten married and have children. But it just didn’t happen. I think back to a time before my girlfriend passed, and I really think she would have wanted to be my wife. She couldn’t have children but I’m so sorry for not making her my wife before she passed. We were so happy together. Now 8 years have gone by and I find myself so pathetic and lonely.

I’m sorry this turned out so long. But your right I need to be more thankful for what I have. But how are you able to tune out all those negative thoughts and concentrate on the calming effects of the natural world?

Hidden
Hidden in reply to Shutterbug65

I know how hard it is, but you cannot dwell on the past and your regrets. Live in today worrying only with the things you have control over. If FB is a trigger for negative and sad feelings, don’t get on. There’s no law that you have to frequent FB! You’re not pathetic, just depressed. Calming and relaxing your mind takes practice. Not only do I rely on music and nature to relax me, but I rely heavily on My Sweet Lord for comfort, guidance, hope, unconditional love, and the strength to help myself. You can do this! I keep trying to get someone, anyone to identify with my newfound interest in classical piano music! Listen to Franz Liszt’s Liebestraum #3 when trying to relax! It’s beautiful! Wishing you peace!!

Shutterbug65
Shutterbug65 in reply to Hidden

I just feel so alone. I went to a graduation party for one of my cousins kids, I realized I was the only one who came alone. And I got the feeling no one really was interested in what I had to say. They are all successful and have so much going on in there lives, lots of good things. In other words they are happy. So even surrounded by family members and other people who know me I felt so alone. The realization that life has moved on without me really scares me. I wish I could go back in time and correct the wrongs I have done. Do you ever feel this way? I know I’m comparing myself to others again.

Thank you for the classical music selection, I will absolutely listen to it.

Have a great day.

Hidden
Hidden in reply to Shutterbug65

Shutterbug...my friend! I can absolutely relate to how you’re feeling! I felt the same way this past Saturday night at a get together with friends. I felt the same way as you. Instead of going to the concert that didn’t interest me anyway, I just went home. My husband went back to go to the concert, which was fine with me. The next time we all have a get together, I will more than likely enjoy myself. I’m always going to put myself out there for socialization opportunities. They don’t always end up with my feeling that way. I just refuse to dwell on the past and my regrets. It cannot be changed and ends up filling me with negative thoughts. Try so hard to look for and grab onto the positive aspects of any situation! Dwelling on the negatives and comparing yourself to others is just never going to be helpful. We all have to practice searching for the positives! I know you can do it! Psyche yourself up before going anywhere like that and at the outset, start looking at the good things, doing your best to ignore the bad. Regarding your regrets, you can always start over...it’s never too late. Wishing you peace! Hugs!!

Hi join the club as I feel the same. I have never been married or even lived with anyone and never had kids either. I do have 3 sisters but rarely see them thank goodness.

Can you make some new friends? I don't know where you live but in the UK there are Meet Up Groups and they are national. If you google it you are bound to find other groups depending on where you are.

There is help out there but you have to make the effort. x

I know, that’s what my therapist said, she mentioned meetup.com but I didn’t try it. She also said I’m extremely rigid in my ways. Afraid of change or anything that might have an unpredictable outcome.

Anyway I don’t see her anymore, mostly due to the cost. I have Obamacare and pay monthly installments. Insurance is much different in the states than the UK. Here it’s all about profit. I’m not even sure if I’ll have insurance next year. Another worry. Good Grief.

But thank you for your response. I know no one will come knocking at my door. I think it would startle if someone did. lol. It’s up to me to change things. One friend, just someone to talk to would certainly be a blessing.

im in a relationship have two kids brothers sister and a few friends but I still feel lonely.

I understand where you're coming from. I'm dealing with a divorce and also experiencing strong anxiety (OCD checking, scary thoughts of the future, etc.). The people in my life have been very supportive, family and friends. Still, there's that weekend loneliness that I dread, because what if no one's available to do anything? I also have that dread on weeknights, but I tend to get home later in the evening, so it doesn't leave a lot of time for feeling alone. But weekends are another thing. Thinking of that whole stretch of time where there might be nothing to do, no one to do anything with. It's depressing just to think about it. I find myself feeling kind of desperate to find something to do with someone.

SA192461
SA192461 in reply to arcenciel

Going thru a divorce as well..after 30 years, no family close by and friends all have their families...very much alone but what is my saving grace is my little Shih Tuz. I’ve had her since she was 8 weeks old, she is now 13..I’m so grateful everyday that she is here with me. I’ve also found a great app for meditation, it’s called Headspace. Sending many Hugs and kindness to you all💕

arcenciel
arcenciel in reply to SA192461

Wow, 30 years. I've always figured that, after being married for that long, people wouldn't divorce. I've only been married for 2 years, although we'd been together for a total of 8 years.

It's great that you have your pooch to focus on and keep you company. I don't even have a pet at this time. Anyway, between the psychotherapist, the psychiatrist, the exercising, the commute to and from work, the housework, etc., there'd be no time to devote to the poor thing. Maybe some day. I've been using Headspace also. I really enjoy meditating, and look forward to doing it.

Fluffy44
Fluffy44 in reply to arcenciel

Maybe get involved in a local church?? Many churches have support groups and bible studies to get involved in. Jesus is there for everyone just call on Him in your loneliness!! He will send you comfort!!

Praying for you!!

I’ve tried but he didn’t listen. I went to mass three sundays in a row last summer. And got absolutely nothing out of it. My belief in God is tenuous at best. And organized religion is intolerant towards people who are different.

I feel exactly the same way. Atleast at work I can busy myself with what needs to be done. And I get along well with my co workers. I’m actually working tomorrow so that will help. And occasionally I go out for drinks with them.

Like you every weekend is just so filled with anxiety and dread. I try to sleep in but that’s impossible. I wake and immediately my anxiety kicks in. And the thing is I wasn’t always like this. I used to look forward to the weekends like most normal people. But my anxiety and sense of impending dread got worse over the past year. Man it’s horrible. I just can’t relax in my own home, I need to get out. I wish I knew what caused this. It sucks. Even trying to busy myself with chores doesn’t help.

Thanks for your reply. I hope you find some peace ✌️

I just don’t want to be alone anymore. I can’t imagine going through life like this for the rest of my life.

I’m glad you understand how I feel. I really have no one in my life, no close friends or family. I hate being alone in my own house, on the weekends I’ll just get in my car and drive anywhere. Is anyone this completely alone? Like you I get home late and the anxiety doesn’t have time to work it’s way in. I have the same feeling about wanting to find somebody to do things with. I’m so afraid that at any moment something will go wrong and I have no one to help me.

Thanks for your reply and understanding.

I’m so sorry Shutterbug65. :-( I truly do know how you feel. It’s so difficult to all of a sudden be completely alone and fear that if something goes wrong you have no one to turn to. I’m trying to be strong..I pray the very same for you🙏🏻❤️I’m here if you need someone to talk to🤗

It's tough, I know. I'm lucky in that I do have family and friends nearby. But you know, I can't be with them all weekend long. Luckily, like this past weekend, some friends invited me to join them for lunch on Saturday afternoon. I don't mind being home alone in the evening so much, because I can read one of my self-help books, or I can write in my journal, listen to an uplifting podcast, or meditate. I do think we all need SOME alone time. The problem for me is not having something planned ahead of time for at least SOME part of the weekend. If I have just one activity planned, then I feel better about the approaching weekend.

That’s how I feel. An entire stretch of time of being alone. I just want somebody to be with.

I went to my cousins party for his daughter who graduated HS and is off to college. I was the only one who showed up alone. And even though I was around a lot of family I felt like I didn’t fit in. I can’t believe so much time has gone by, they are all married and have children, and talking about vacations they are taking this year. I’m going nowhere and I’m a loser, I’ve accomplished nothing. I can’t stand this loneliness much longer. Sorry but this is how I feel. Defeated.

I know how difficult that can feel. Often in my life, I've been the single one surrounded by couples, with their plans, their kids, this, that, the other. The whole world revolves around couples and families. It can make you feel like there's something wrong with you for not being like them. Please know that you are not alone. And I don't just mean me. I mean millions and millions of others in our society who are single and childless. I think we might almost be at the point where a majority of people are single. Are you seeing a psychotherapist?

I was but stopped going because I couldn’t afford the co pay every week. I have Obamacare and I pay a monthly premium and even with the tax credit I receive it’s still substantial. And to be honest I wasn’t getting anything out of it.

She kept pushing me to go to these Meetups she would find online. And it’s my nature to resist, which she found out. She said I’m very rigid to any kind of change. But be that as it may I can’t afford the therapy anyway.

I do see my phychiatrist but that’s for meds management.

Yes I do :( Lonliness is a horrid thing! What about joining mind? They are very good :) They offer all sorts of things & most of them are free! You might even make friends :) I am in a bad place at the moment :( but frocing my self to do things does help :) Family for me means nothing! Very few of my family care about me :( But my friends help :) I hope I have been of some help :)

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youtu.be/klf_k_pxWoE

Get up and dance to this song! I LOVE YOU! HUGS!

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