I'm lost

[Marato]

Hi everyone, my boyfriend of 7 months broke up with me about a month go

I dated him after 4 years of being single from my other ex

My parents are separated and I never see them or talk to them because my dad has mental issues and he verbally abused me for years and my mum just left dad and I after the separation, so I was so alone and lonely and sad all the time, I joined uni in sept 2016, and made amazing new friends my house mates and course mates

But now after my break up everyone has just left me

My house mates hate me, my course mates have just kicked me out of the group

And I get tempted to text my ex but he is the one who left me and said he didn't want to be in a relationship but he is now on tinder

He was my happiness my life was falling apart before him but when he came into my life I had someone there for me and now he's gone , I have no friends and absolutely no family

I am alone and sad and I cry myself to bed

I'm lost

Should I just end my life

What's the point of being like this

[jo336]

Hi there Marato,

You are your everything. Speaking from my own experience, my ex-boyfriend has just left me due to the damage my anxiety and depression caused in our relationship. It is so easy to blame yourself but it isn't your fault.

I have been there myself, I felt completely isolated from everyone but it just isn't true its what your brain wants you to think because it is so hurt. Your ex-boyfriend doesn't deserve you and is not worthy to be in your life right now because he has left you in the dark, people who care about you wouldn't do that.

Now is the time to DO things to get yourself better. I am so sorry for your family situation but they can't always help us get out of the dark times sometimes. Counsellors, your GP can help you take a step in the right direction. I would urge you to make a doctors appointment and explain your situation. Talking to people is the best thing you can do right now.

As for your friends, it is better you know now than later. Real friends understand and are there for us through the dark times, they don't leave us. Try to join a society or talk to different people on your course, there are so many people out there! You don't have to disclose everything but you can say you're going through a difficult time you'd be surprised at how kind people can be.

Don't worry about your boyfriend - tinder isn't really where people go to start a relationship. There are many boys out there who would be better and kinder to you.

Join the gym, eat well - use all your strength to help yourself. You are so special, and you need to learn how to love yourself. Do things that make you happy - drawing, photography, running, yoga etc.. Be kind to yourself - you are your own best friend right now. Do for yourself what you would do for a friend.

I am thinking of you and I hope everything gets a bit better as each day goes by.

[Marato in reply to jo336]

You are an absolute angel, thank you so much for replying I didn't think anyone would reply.

After writing this post I got even more sad, so I just left the house, none of my house mates care about me, and I went on a walk and just came back, I'm just so numb and lost and I don't know what to do, I keep going back and forth , I tell myself it'll get better but it really isn't, I used to be very confident and talking to people making friends but now Iv just lost all that

I don't know anymore I don't know what to do

[jo336 in reply to Marato]

I am crying as I write this to you Marato.

I am here for you, I am going through something similar to you. I used to be so confident too, I can only ask that you hold on and hope. You had it all once and you can get it all back in time.

The first step is to go and see a doctor or a counsellor or welfare officer at your university that is exactly what I did and they know exactly how to help you. I felt the same about 3 weeks ago and things have got so much better already.

Please tell me you'll go see someone tomorrow. You're not alone I'm here for you x

[Marato in reply to jo336]

I will definitely sign up for counselling tomorrow, I promise you that and I'll let you know

Thank you so much for helping me out, please don't cry you are being brilliant here by helping me

[jo336 in reply to Marato]

We have got to be strong. It makes me so happy you're going to do that, you will feel so much better x

[Hidden in reply to Marato]

Marato, if you don’t have insurance,try a community health center so u can get some help. I used to feel similarly to you and now I decided to get help. Hope it all goes well!

[doingmybest2017]

Hey! I'm so sorry to hear things are bad for you right now. Do you think the friends you had are worth fighting for? Is there something that happened that can be repaired? Sometimes when we're weak it can seem like it's not worth the effort. But friends and supports are important. I'm here for you. ❤️

[Marato in reply to doingmybest2017]

Hi

I know friend support is important but I feel like they only want me when they are bored and otherwise they don't

[Hidden in reply to Marato]

I feel the same way but hoping that changes in time. It’s unfortunate that “friends” only wanna make time for us when it’s convenient. They say I live too far and they spend too much on gas. A real friend wouldn’t mind, they would make time for u. I’d rather have no friends at all than have friends who aren’t there for me.

[Marato in reply to Hidden]

I totally support you on that, we should enjoy our own company, some amazing tv shows and music helps me, I don't need anyone, especially by the fact that all my mates are snakes

[Hidden in reply to Marato]

So true, people won’t ever understand how we feel!