Just trying to get though the days

Well I came on here a few days ago ,after find out my husband had been on sex sites and dating sites ,we been married 40 years ,so you can't even imagain how I feel, I told him that I was going to leave him ,which I did leave and came back the next day he told me he wouldn't do it again promise me ,then sat I go on his phone and he it showed he was looking up excort services ,I went crazy on him ,I was going to leave but he told me if I did I be very sorry, see my thing is I have wrap my life up in him my kids and m grandkids,and then as I told y'all I started have a lot of health issues,then he started have some men issues but instead of getting help he let it go ,and has his wife I try to help him but it didn't work ,so I felt less a women,he made me feel ugly cause you know by now I have to use oxygen 24/7 so I already feel ugly and less of a women then I go thoughtwo knee replacements and my back is bad ,But I not die I would have loved the touch of his hand on me his touch his hugs and even kissing but nothing this been going on for almost three years and now you are on these sites looking at trash ,pay. To look at something you can't touch or feel ,but do if I know if he met any of them no I don't so it eats me a live I feel so alone and betrayed ,and I just want to expose I told him he has broken me and of corse he blame me but I be damn if I let him blame me

7 Replies

  • Hello Teresa05. Sounds as though you have a great deal of frustrating things going on in your life. Because they are so complicated and involve your marriage, I think your pastor or a marital therapist may be of value to you. We are not psychologists or marriage counselors, and I really am not comfortable to even try to do suggest anything else but to listen to your anger and frustrations that you needed to vent.

    My best hopes for you and a better day tomorrow.

  • Well it's not your fault but only his! He has a free choice and he has chosen to go on dating sites. Never let him blame you for his issues. Does he blame you a lot? You are not at fault he is.

  • Thanks so true I didn't make him but he does blame me

  • Sounds like he refuses to take responsibility for himself so has to blame you instead.

  • Hello,

    I am so sorry you are going through this experience. I cannot possible fathom how upset you are. I hope that you don't take anything your husband said to you to heart. Just because you have health issues does not mean that you are any less of a woman or any less beautiful. I hope that you are able to surround yourself with family or friends who support and validate you in a healthy manner. I commend you for being able to share so openly with us, and I wish you the best of luck

  • Thank you for the kind words means a lot,we are trying to work on it one day at a time

  • Hi, I am new to this site and just read your post. I hope you have made some progress in your self-esteem and marital issues.

    I can so relate to your desire to be touched, hugged, kissed. I left my husband after several years of not being touched or held, nevermind any sexual contact. I too have health issues, primarily back problems. Since leaving him I have had more time and energy to work on lifting periods of deep depression and doing things that bring a little joy to my days. I still live with little touch or anything physical, but at least I'm no longer feeling that frustration of laying next to someone who won't touch me.

    I am available to chat whenever you want.

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