Better without him

I recently broke up with my boyfriend after 3 years of being in a "relationship". Honestly I don't know why it took me thid long to end it. First few months i thought i was maddly in love with him because he was so loving and would write to me every day. But then everything went down hill when i decided to leave my house and go to him. But obviously i got scared because what was i gonna tell my parents. Was i strong enough to just walk out of my house and never look back. He didn't have a house of his own and know this i used it to get out of leaving my home. But that turned to be a mistake so i thought right because i was so in "love" with him. After that day everything became my reality. He started showing his real side. He started by slowly ignoring my messages then it increased. He wouldn't talk to me for a few days at the end blaming me that i didn't love him as much as he did. But i would always take the blame. Saying i was scared of leaving and it was true. Days eventually turned to weeks were he wouldn't speak to me at all. Then he would send me something (a song, a cute picture) which made me go back to saying i love you. This kept going on for a while we were ok then we weren't. I remember i told him look if you really want this to work you need to speak up and tell me what's wrong. Obviously it came back to me not wanting to leave everything behind and go after him. My friend said it shouldn't be like that, that if he really loved me he had to be the one to come down here for me. But he couldn't he didn't have the proper way to do it. I wouldn't say the reason because that is not for me to say. But one year went by 2 years and everything was the same. I remember i would cry sometimes every night and I would pray to God he wouldn't leave me and i was scared to end it with him. I would say God if he isn't the one then remove him from my path and i honestly thought God was hearing me because he would come back. Third year which was this one i had been thinking about that relationship and i no longer cared if he would speak to me. I would tell my friend i no longer care if he love me or not. Im done begging to be loved. But i wouldn't break it up either. But this year was gonna be the end of it i knew it deep down how unhealthy we were. Yes i loved him for the longest time but we never met. We never took a step into bettering the relationship. So i took that step and ended it for good. He wasn't there anymore he wouldn't open up to me even after 3 years. And yes it did hurt but honestly I'm better without him today. I don't want to sound cold hearted. Maybe i didn't give him the opportunity to change because i blocked his account and his number but i know that if i had allowed him to say a word today i still be crying myself to sleep knowing that i have someone who say he loves me but ignores me every single day.

[Hidden]

I personally feel like you did the right thing. Over the course of three years, nothing got better, only worse. Was he crying and losing sleep over losing you? And I think God did hear you, he may have just shown it differently than you planned. He showed you strength. And in my opinion, that probably was a better answer 🙂

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Honestly you're right i thought i would be so broken like with my other relationships but no i think i grew stronger every time he failed to put part in the relationship

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Keep growing and getting stronger 💪💞

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

one taught me love, one tought me patience and one taught me pain now im so amazing loll

[Hidden]

i know what its like to date someone u never met. its strange. i dated someone for like 2 months online, but then i finally got to meet him, and i rlly loved him a lot after i met him, we've been dating for like 5 months now, i dont see him that often because he lives like 40 minutes away and i barely get to talk to him because he doesnt have a phone so once in a while he texts me using someone elses phone. another problem is i keep having these thoughts that keep me up at night. i always wonder why he likes me and why he is staying in this relationship so long. ik he loves me but i just dont know why. and it bothers me, i used to be shy in front of him when i first met him but now i can be myself and thats good but i feel like when he gets to know me rlly well he will stop liking me and that would brake my heart cuz i love him so much .... sry, yall dont have to read this lol

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Same thing happened to me with the first guy i met and fell in love with him. It's really hard to understand why someone can love you even when there is a few miles between you two. I hope you guys do work out. I have been in long distance relationships and as lovely as they are they can also be painful. But if he loves you he must see something you don't see in yourself that he did see in you. I understand why you question yourself into why he love you but some might not understand and you might not understand either but if you are happy fight for this to be real and lasts forever

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

thanks so much, and yea its hard to see yourself from other ppls point of view, this was good advice

[Freedom57]

Sounds like you had a situationship not a relationship as pervPastor RC Blake’s Jr on you tube

[Hidden in reply to Freedom57]

What do you mean?

[Freedom57 in reply to Hidden]

A situationship is when you think you have a relationship but fundamental elements are missing, especially commitment & respect. It’s almost like a mirage. We want to believe we have a relationship but we really don’t because it’s not possible because it’s unbalanced. The person that is less committed & not giving much back has all the power. A real relationship grows and feels like a partnership

[newdaynewlight]

I had a recent breakup with an almost identical situation and although you're questioning if it was the right thing- you gave him more than enough time to change and I am SO proud of you. It is ok to love him from a distance, it is ok to realize that you deserve more (more than what he can/ is willing to give), but you shouldn't have to make excuses for his actions/ lack thereof especially if they hurt you. You deserve to be truly happy, it may be hard now but I am here for you and SO many others are too. Your soul deserves peace. Sending lots of love <3

[Hidden in reply to newdaynewlight]

I do feel better without him. I couldn't believe i cried only once since it happened but i guess i let go of the chains. Should have done it earlier. And thanks i just hope i don't have any late regrets 😬

[Purrsona]

Break-ups suck, but it sounds like you gave him plenty of chances to do better and you don't owe him a thing. I'm sorry this happened to you. You'll find someone better.