Newbie❤

[anicole456]

Hey everyone! I joined this site a couple weeks ago, I guess. I was in a horrible place, not sleeping, barely keeping it together at work, snapping at my kids & husband - it wasn't a good place to be. On top of that, in mid-March I completely lost my appetite & my anxiety went from about a consistent 3/4 to a raging & constant 10+... when I could manage to eat, I was running for the bathroom, hell I would run to the bathroom 3-4×'s/day even when I ate nothing. There were many days I ate literally NOTHING. I survived on Mt. Dew & air. Unhealthy, yes, I know! I thought my tummy issues were strictly due to anxiety, but I got more anxious bc my maternal grandpa died at age 59 of colon cancer, his oldest daughter beat it at age 42. So I have family history plus symptoms & the GI doc is doing my first colonoscopy in 2 weeks. I'm only 32 & terrified of the results. However, since March, I have found a therapist (she rocks), got new meds from my PCP (allergic reaction landed me in ER with sky high BP & HR plus some uncharacteristic rage issues), started with a new psychiatrist & now back on my old meds which I weaned myself off of last year bc I thought they weren't working & I felt pretty good, so... yeah, guys, don't do what I did! Anyway, my point is that I love this place! I hate that so many people have these problems, but also thankful too bc u guys get it & I've seen not one ounce of judgement or ridicule here. Thanks for being awesome, it's helped me quite a bit reading stories & talking with some of u. And remember, these "issues" we have are not for weak people, we are stronger than anyone without this mess knows bc we manage to fight this, live with it, & even kick it's ass on good days... thanks again for the help u guys all give & for just being u!

[Hidden]

Hi nice to meet you. I agree with you. Life is hard enough for 'ordinary' people let alone the ones like us and to cope we have to be stronger than they are.

I have worked all my life and suffering from depression it's always been very hard for me but I have done it. Ok there are times I have given up but I always manage to pick myself up again. I tell myself it builds character! I must have lots of character

[anicole456 in reply to Hidden]

No doubt! I too, am loaded with character! I say (on the good days) that it doesn't matter how many times u fall, it only matters how many times u get back up... not easy to remember or believe on those bad days, but I try really hard. I've seen u reply to several other people & u seem to know what ur talking about (is that a compliment or an insult?!🤔😂Take it as a compliment, plz!😆) I'm having alot of anxiety this morning - I go back to work for the first time after my "meltdown" & I'm so nervous. I just know I'll be without a job by 8:15am... maybe not the end of the world bc it's fairly high stress, but this job has dream hours for my family situation & pays better than most anything in the area for a nurse. I just hate waiting to know what they'll say about me missing so much work when I was already behind on my paperwork... but I try hard not to let things beyond my control get me down too far & this is beyond my control at this point. I'll apologize & work hard to catch up, that's all I can do now, I suppose. Gahhh, I tend to rant when I'm nervous, sorry! Thanks for "listening"!

[Hidden in reply to anicole456]

Hi thank you for the compliment. Some things I do know about coz I have experienced them and I am old Others I am totally at sea on so can't give any advice or anything.

Even if I know nothing about something and the person is a newbie without any replies I will go in just to say hi etc. as it's awful to post and not get any replies. It makes you feel worse than ever.

I wish you luck with the job. Take care.

[anicole456 in reply to Hidden]

Thank u! I still have my job, thankfully! Just playing catch up now... 😕

[Hidden in reply to anicole456]

Phew I bet that's a relief isn't it? Good news.