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[Sdczero24]

Im finding myself here in need of someone to talk to and some help with my problems. Im a 26 year old guy who struggles with high anxiety as well as an eating disorder and many issues with anger. I feel that i dont have a strong support system at all or even friends who i can turn to. I live at home with my mom and it seems nobody wants to listen when i try to talk. Everyone kind of seems to push me off to someone else or suggest medicine, when i know that even those things are quick fixes. Plus, i have no insurance other than state insurance (medicaid bc im on disability). Its hard just to function daily and find a reason to want something better for my life. Everyday im ridden with high anxiety and so much anger that i isolate myself from people bc i get scared i wont be able to handle my emotions in public. There are sometimes where ive stormed out of stores or restaurants bc i couldnt be around the types of people that were there. I have heavy paranoia too and im just desperate to talk to someone and make new friends that understand me and dont view me as a burden. Its so hard to even say these things on here bc i feel embarrassed for a lot of it but i really would love to hear any input. Thank you

[Hidden]

A great deal is going on with you, and since you have medicaid, I think you should consider finding a psychiatrist who accepts that. That may take some work and research Don't know if psychologists are approved by medicaid. The longer you wait for professional help, I believe the worse you may become.

If you find a psychiatrist, that doesn't mean medications will be recommended or prescribed. That always will be your choice. Your anger issues can really get you into trouble and help with anger management may be a wise first step. That, along with the people in this venue, could be the beginning of your support system.

I know what it is like to be disabled and have workers comp and SSDI. Handling a disability can raise many issues on its own, and there is nothing to be embarrassed about that.

But to make real friends, you may need to learn how to be one....Don't you think you might try a new approach to learning how to do that? Learning how to deal with your anxiety and anger may require professional help. Friendship is a give and take relationship, and I wish for you to succeed in your desire to have friends.

There is always someone somewhere in the world reading and replying to posts on this venue. Welcome, and write as often as you need. It's time to start changing your life.

[Sdczero24 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you and i appreciate the feedback. Ive seen many doctors before and ive been in treatment as well, so its hard to consider going back to the route of a doctor again. Its frustrating especially when doctors are generally dont feel helpful at least at first, and being im on state insurance id have to travel which becomes an issue. In regards to friends, i wouldnt assume i dont know how to be a friend as much as maybe lowering what i look for in friends. I can befriend anyone and most people like me from my regular encounters, but its difficult to find people my age that arent actively self destructive. So maybe i should have said healthy friends. My old core group of friends disbanded when my best one committed suicide about 5 years ago. After that, they all began to hang out at bars instead of just doing an activity like seeing a movie or something, and as a personal choice, i drink very rarely. So id like to find those seldom people that dont like the furious nature of "going out to party" and where i live, thats always a problem. Thank you again for this though for it was really a refreshing thong to wake up to and im going to try to seek out a doctor today and maybe a group to attend to work on the anger. The anger is a side effect of covering up my saddness for sure, but it can get very up and down which id like to better understand

[Hidden in reply to Sdczero24]

You appear to be a very intelligent man who knows the good and the downside of physician treatment. For awhile I actually became a bit childish in my thinking of "What? another ONE?" when I'd check my calendar. And you are also correct sometimes about insurance attitudes by doctors....so many don't take your medicaid or my workers comp because of the payment amount for medicaid or the paperwork and adjusters involved with workers comp.

So we end up wondering, just how good is this doctor if he accepts these insurance plans?

You have the insight of what type of friends you would like to make. That's great...and you stick to not lowering yourself because of loneliness. To reassure you that you are not alone in your quest for new friends, it happens at all ages. Everyone tells you to do volunteer work....right, like where? I'm sorry but don't want to be somewhere that I don't enjoy the work or the age group just to be doing something.

But since you're young, I wonder if the local youth programs need volunteers, or the fire department station or even the police station, as they, believe it or not, sometimes welcome volunteer to help with paper work filing,etc. where I live. There would be men and woman in your age range in those places.

Hope to hear from you again and that you have taken some action in these areas.....I'm rooting for you!

[Sdczero24 in reply to Hidden]

😁 this was really (again) refreshing to see and hear. I really appreciate the advice! I dont know of any youth centers near me but i do know of some animal places that might be looking for volunteers and that would be a great idea to look into. Im always more comfortable around animals and before i left working for disability i worked at a pet store. Ill try seeing whats offered and ive even been looking into getting a new dog since my old one passed away a couple years ago.

All you stated about doctors is on the money as well. I always find with a lower insurance you end up finding doctors who arent necessarily working out of love for people as they are money, and it shows in drug pushing or passing on clients to other doctors (which ive had several times). So its a hassle, but i did put a call in to someone today who i hope to hear from next week.

All and all ive come a long way in life but its sometimes hard to see as being admirable which is where the emotions fly. I mean i was once on my literal death bed, and now im far from it just riddled with daily nuisances. I have my good and bad days (today good, yesterday a bit hectic) but in the end i know im always ok, which we all are without the burdens we take on.

But thank you again because even just a short reply was very refreshing and awesome to see. I wish you to best as well!

[Hidden in reply to Sdczero24]

I want to thank you for your letter. I could actually feel the excitement and energy coming off the screen! Oh, you have made my evening. Sometimes we really don't know if we have really anything of value to offer or suggest.

More than you, I am so happy your post was sent to me. Let us know how your investigations into volunteering opportunities go, ok?

[Sdczero24 in reply to Hidden]

Will do will do and thanks again!!

[Rachaelv25]

It takes a lot of courage to ask for help. So awesome first step! I know that sometimes state insurance can be frowned upon by others but it is there for a reason and I would agree that you should find some professional help. I am seeing a therapist right now and feel so relieved that she is helping me. This is my third therapist but first that I have really connected with. I, also, do not believe in medication but know that sometimes that it can be helpful. I am working on a healthier lifestyle to help with my anxiety, just like PTSDforyears. I am eating lots of vegetables and fruits. I have been doing low impact exercises. I have been writing in a journal everyday. You have a right to a happy life. We will be here to support you.

[Sdczero24 in reply to Rachaelv25]

Thank you very much for the reply! Today ive been reaching out for professional help and ill see how that goes. Ive had my share of rough doctors as well so patience i know is key. And as for meds ill see what comes about but ive always noticed i do better without them (and ive been on every med you can think of). As for healthy lifestyle im doing my best but eating is always a hard one due to my eating disorder. I mean i eat "healthy" but to different terms being that i have to intake lots of protien and fat to keep my weight up. I also walk a lot since i live in a busy city, but i find it hard to eat fruit as much as i should be. Do you have any hobbies you could recommend? I love music and just began getting into learning how to produce my own music, but i feel i could use some more help with those things

[Rachaelv25 in reply to Sdczero24]

How's it going?? Checking in with you to see if things are looking up!!! Medicine isn't always good for me either. I totally get it! As for eating it sounds like you are on a good plan for your body. I try to incorporate fruits the easy way...as in fresh strawberries on my salad or since you like protein maybe a fruit salad? I love them. Especially peach salsa. Just some thoughts! As for hobbies since you are already walking pictures or drawing could be fun! I don't know much about music but that could be fun. Maybe song writing or teaching yourself an instrument? I have started exploring the city I leave in. It has been fun. I downloaded the app all trails to find parks near me. I have discovered I like to build small things with my hands. I just built a small desk! It was fun. Well keep up the good work.

[Depressed1996]

Always here to talk. Don't have a lot to do during the day.

[Depressed1996 in reply to Depressed1996]

*i

[spedteach]

Hi! Sdzzero24:

Thanks for being so honest and sharing. I haven't been on for awhile, but when I really needed help people where here for me. So, I hope that I can help. You will find mixed opinions on here, but I am for medication for depression and anxiety. It has helped me out big time. I was a lot like you when I was your age minus the eating disorder. I had depression, anxiety, and paranoia. I also had troubles with anger. If you are on medicaid cannot you not go to a dr. psychiatrist or psychologist? Perhaps they can give you some ideas on how to make friends and have more family support. I know that for years I had suffered from strained relations with my family and still do I guess. I am fortunate to have good friends though and you can get some too.

Hang in there and work for what you want!

Spedteacher