I guess I just wanted to share how I feel in hopes you can relate to me, or better yet, help me get out of my awful headspace. The rundown on my mental health. I've been diagnosed with Depression and Anxiety (Social) for almost 6 years. Religiously I've taken my medicine like a good girl. I take 30mg of Prozac and orginally took 150 mg Welbutrin. However over the last couple months I feel.. different. I am in college, but Summer break started so I'm in the clear. I have an amazing boyfriend who loves me and understand me. I haven't had anything traumatizing happen. So my psychologist upped my dose of Welbutrin to 300mg. At first my mind was racing. Thoughts would crowd my brain and it would keep me up at night. Then... nothing. I literally am scared of feeling nothing. All I have is fear and sadness. My head feels hazy but light luck someone took out my brain. I don't know if it's my anxiety inducing this but I just can't wrap my head around the fact I was doing so well for 5 years and then now I'm not. I have been seeing a Therapist regularly for the last 5 years. I've been doing everything I can and it's exhausting. I feel like my thoughts are trapped in a balloon and it's floating farther and farther away from my head. I'll notify my Therapist of this ofcourse (I keep her up to date) but I just want to feel better. I WANT to feel better. I'll do anything. I don't know if they'll ever figure out the right dosage. I don't wanna feel numb. I'll always keep chugging on but I just want feel better again.
Thanks for reading this,