Up and down

[michael07]

It's so weird. I'll be in utter despair in the morning, feel better in the afternoon, and then go right back to despair the next morning. My head will be full of suicidal thoughts one minute, and then operating OK the next. Overall, it still feels like my life is fucked and this is the end, but I know too many people love me to do anything drastic And enough people tell me to keep going that I find the will each day. Anyway, just thought I'd share. Hope you are doing OK.

[JAYnLA]

It's not weird to vacillate like you're describing here at all. Mornings have usually been the worst time for me as well. The key is to go on about your life even though you feel like hell. This is the way to retrain your brain. It takes time and courage to heal this stuff, but it is doable. If you haven't heard of the works of Dr. Claire Weekes, look her up. She talks about his very thing in her books. Wishing you well!

[michael07 in reply to JAYnLA]

Thank you so much for this. I will see if I can download an ebook from her.

[optimuscoolbeans]

Yes I second the Claire Weekes books or audio. You can also find the audio or video on YouTube. And I also second that mornings are the worst for me. By mid afternoon to evenings I can sometimes, sometimes feel better.

[michael07 in reply to optimuscoolbeans]

Actually audio sounds really good. Spend a lot of time in the car. Could use some practical tips about how to deal with this pain.

[Earthmuffin]

Same. I think it's a pretty common thing.. Once you get up and moving and activating chemicals and whatnot you function a little better and then the sun goes down and you slow down and so does the feel good stuff. If that makes sense.

[michael07 in reply to Earthmuffin]

It makes a lot of sense. I guess the trick is not to believe your brain when it says things are hopeless. If I can just stay active during those times, it's more bearable.

[seekjoydaily]

Yes, it's like a roller coaster ride sometimes. You just have to buckle the safety belt, hold on, and try to enjoy the ride! Are you currently taking meds and/or seeing a doctor? Has this just recently became a problem, or is this a routine struggle? You are right on track when you say, "the trick is not to believe your brain when it says things are hopeless." Because that's a LIE. Things are not hopeless! Hoping the videos help keep you on track and if things get worse, certainly seek help from a medical professional, or friend/family member. Wishing you more ups than downs.