Please help me!!

So I know I've posted about this one time before, but I have until this weekend to tell my parents about my depression, or else my therapist threatened to bring them in. Does anyone have any advice/ways that I could tell them? I don't know how to start the conversation. I know that by doing this I can potentially feel better but it is stressing me out. They don't really understand my anxiety, so I don't expect them to understand, but I'm afraid that they will be disappointed or embarrassed that their daughter is so messed up. How did you guys tell your family? My therapist acts like it is easy and she told me that I am refusing treatment, but for me it's not like that at all. I am so terrified of them knowing and judging me.

12 Replies

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  • It depends on the relationship you have with your parents. Most people have good one's (most). So I think you opening up to them and talking straight forward to them will help you and them. Believe me parents have a mysterious way of knowing what is going on and they want you to tell them. And if by any chance it were to happen and your family reacted that way you wave friends and loved ones to support you. You have us too, we are here to listen and help. I hope everything goes well. :)

  • Maybe it will be best if your therapist gets all of them and you in a room and explains to them what's going on and educate them on your condition.

  • I they will be glad that you have, at last, told them; they should be sympathetic an helpfull,

    my doughter has anxiety and depression and she gets plenty of support

    BITE THE BULLET-GO FOR IT !

    Very Best Wishes

  • Hi there- I've not posted on here before, but your cry for help has touched me, so I hope you'll allow me to offer you a few words of advice. Sweetheart, you're so young and obviously going through a very tough time. And from what you say, your parents don't know how to help you, which is even harder. I honestly think you should do as some other members of this forum have suggested, and have your therapist arrange a meeting with ALL of you. If she is a good therapist, she really should know that this is probably the best way for you. And at your age, your parents should know everything there is to know, so that they CAN help you. It's the only way, get your therapist to 'put it across ' to them, explain how you are feeling, and what she thinks is the best treatment, the best way forward, for YOU. Even if you just sit and cry throughout the whole meeting - it doesn't matter, ok? It will take a bit of the burden off you, and they will have a chance to ask questions, if need be. Actually, it sounds to me like all of you should have been having therapy sessions together - since it may well be that your mom and dad need help too. Please try to keep going, sweetheart, you WILL get better, but the right medication may be where you have to start. I'll be praying for you the second I stop typing this - because prayer works! I've had a lifetime of battling anxiety and depression, but finding out how much God loves me (and you too!) has honestly helped a lot. I'm not "preaching" at you, just sharing what the real answer was, for me. Now go and phone your therapist, ok?!!

  • Thank you for responding! I see her tomorrow, so we'll arrange a meeting with my parents! It's going to be scary but this is something I've kept secret for a long time. I know that it will help once I get through telling them. Thank you for your prayers! :)

  • Way to go! (as I think is the American expression?! I live in the UK.) Whatever happens, just take it one step at a time. Will keep you in my thoughts and prayers today. Sending you hugs. xx 😊

  • I think you are right to have your parents come to the session and let the therapist take the lead. I was concerned about the comment you are resisting and it sounded like a threat that either you tell them or the therapist will. I've been hospitalized for depression, and the staff would have people come in and we would talk together. It seems like way to much for you to do alone right now, and a big part of therapy, IMO, is you don't have to do it alone. I can't afford therapy now, but I did for 25 years, and it was immensely helpful (although I did fire a couple therapists that I was not feeling helped by). The biggest part of my depression now is almost everything that has to be done has to be done by me, most of the time, alone. Yeah, I can get a ride to the store, or get someone to fix the lock on my door, but mostly I have to do everything alone. When I'm with caring people, I am not depressed, but without a car, I don't get to do as much as I need to do to help myself more.

  • Hi jodilynnaz, yes I agree with everything you said, esp how important it is to find the right therapist. I'm in sort of the same situation as you, living alone and no car, and also feel a bit overwhelmed by having to do it all. Like you say, nothing gets done unless I (you) do it! And I easily go into "poor me" mindset, but am getting better at resisting that I hope. All the best to you. S.

  • So have you had the meeting with your therapist and parents? Of course, no matter how good the therapists, those meetings don't always go as we'd like. Not all parents are supportive and some are outright harmful. I hope yours are the kind with an open mind, willing to listen without their feelings of possible guilt come out to attack and blame you.

    Are you happy with your therapist?

    How do you get around without a car? We gave Dial-s-Ride and some other options where I live, but many places have nothing. I find not having a car makes it all the more difficult, as I can't just up and go places that will be good for me. All the effort to make it happen (arranging a ride after I find something potentially good for me to do) and then feeling good enough to go out and connect takes a lot of energy.

    It's a tough challenge to balance my pity pirates (self compassion) with efforts to improve things. Often, I will ask myself "What's happening now?" Usually, nothing is happening now, I'm just upset over past or imagined future hurts.

    Let me know how you are doing!

  • I actually told my mom myself, and then she called my therapist separately. I went to the doctor and they switched my medication to Zoloft, so we'll see how it works for me. I guess the hard part is over, but I still feel bad because she didn't respond in an appropriate way. But at the same time I went to the doctor so what I wanted to get accomplished got done!

  • You are taking care of yourself, which is #1. It sucks when parents, friends, etc., don't respond the way we need them to, but as long as you take care of yourself, that's what it takes. We all prefer loved ones and friends would be there for us, but if it's a preference and not a demand, it makes it easier to recover from the disappointment, instead of that becoming one more issue.

    Hope zoloft works for you. It's been around a LONG time and is one of the better ones, I think.

  • they're not very loving/understanding parents if they judge you...

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