I feel like I’m losing my mind! Nonstop hysterical crying for the past 3 days! Nothing happened to bring this on. I feel like I just need to be locked away and forgotten about. I’m not suicidal. I don’t know how to deal with this. My partner feels horrible because there is nothing he can do. I’ve been very depressed often, but I haven’t felt like this in a while. I have friends that love and care about me, but they just don’t understand. I’m sure they are sick of seeing me like this.they just pretty much just tell me to get myself together. Which of course I can’t do. I feel so lost and helpless! I feel like such a burden. I’m never happy and I do nothing but stay in the house. When I’m like this nothing matters. I just want to fade away so people don’t have to deal with me. It’s so bad I can’t even go outside. I just sit in the house and bawl my eyes out. I haven’t been able to eat either. Showering is last on the list. I can’t and don’t want to go anywhere because I randomly burst out crying and can’t stop. That would be great for my social anxiety. Having everyone stare and talk about me. I feel so lonely and detached from this world. I’ve been dealing with this for 30 + years with it getting worse the older I get. Menopause makes it even worse. I just can’t win and I’m tired. It’s like my brain chemistry is so messed up there is no fixing it. I started another new med 3 months ago and my mood seems to have gotten worse. I’ll be reaching out to my doctor tomorrow. Maybe I need a higher dose, maybe stop altogether. Therapy has never worked for me so that’s not really an option. Im stuck in this deep dark spiral into hell.
Thank you for listening
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Rufus07
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I know what you mean about feeling like the people in your life are probably tired of hearing it. There are things in my life that I keep trying to change, but no matter what I try, I just fail over and over again. I think everyone I love is sick of me too.
I feel the same re. that people don't want to hear how I feel A lot of the time, and good that we do have this platform, or site to vent & get & give help. It's hard to change one's mind set to positive when things in our lives are, well, not that positive. Right now, I am dealing with feeling kinda sorry for myself & I don't want to be like that --Am Aging All Alone (lost my Sig. Other two year Anniversary yesterday of his passing). Will be spending Thanksgiving All Alone & the rest of the holidays & tears running down my face right now thinking about it. Oh, now, I don't want a "Pity Party," & I feel for the person who is in so much pain who wrote the post, and all of us who are in emotional pain. How do we change our mind set is the question I put before us??? Yes, I am grateful for the things that I do have, and I guess that is a start! Anyway, we are NOT alone even tho. we may feel like it, at times.
Yes, feeling it too. What can you, distract yourself with youtube, just google and choose music, gardening, cooking or any topic you like and see if that helps. Also I like colouring, it just a way of getting back into myself and keeping busy while I try to feel better about myself and situation. But I do feel like giving up work and just resting unfortunately my boss won't give me any holidays off. I did miserable at work and made mistakes which I can't get over. I soldier on as what can one do. I know one day it will be alright, with all the effort I put in. You do want easy route to life and just get a break
I am just going minute by minute with breaks on my course/project I am doing
Thank you for your response. Unfortunately when I get like this, there is no distracting me. I can’t function. I feel paralyzed. Hopefully this will get better later. My klonopin does help, thank God.
Yeah hormones can be playing apart. I have thyroid condition and I'm also a sensitive person so I feel things deeply. Even such a thing as a "small dose" in medication made me so anxious it was ridiculous. Took me forever to convince a doctor to put me back on my tiny dose.
Now I wonder with the way I'm feeling is anxiety or my thyroid. Because they both cause the same damn things. Like you I cry...a lot.
I have to go and do blood work at a place and I'm scared. I hate having to travel a distance to do this. But I need to do it because I need to see my psychiatrist to get my anxiety meds. Plus maybe I can get an answer if it's just me or there's something really wrong with me. I think Ill be disappointed if it turns out if it's just me cause that means it's all mental and I don't know how to go about it 🫤
Love and hugs back to you❤️. Add menopause weight gain too. At least for me. Makes me feel disgusting and makes the depression worse. I am on hrt and thyroid meds also. My blood work says I’m in the normal range, but other than the night sweats pretty much gone, I haven’t seen a difference in my mood.
Just want to say that one cannot really separate the physical from the mental -- they go hand in hand --one affects the other. I have a thyroid cond. for years & Anxiety & Depression. Had my thyroid radiated, and taking Thyroid replacement med. everyday. But, the med. is Never like Nature --that's why I get blood tests on my thyroid (and other metabolic panel ) every three Months. But, it's (thyroid) never like nature! Have an anxiety disorder & get depressed (life situations) & physical & emotional & mental --one affects the other. Not easy!
I get mine tested every 6 months. I already had anxiety before the thyroid. But I do feel the thyroid kind of kicked it into overdrive. And it's hard communicating that with doctors. Because as soon as you mentioned you have anxiety. Then that's it. Can't be anything else wrong with you. It's you. Can't be the thyroid or the medication for the thyroid. It's so frustrating.
Yes, it is frustrating. However, it is a known fact that our thyroid affects ALL our organs incl. the brain. All doctors KNOW this! The medical profession needs to understand that our physical & mental health are NOT separated. I don't know what they learn in medical training; but, I do think that if doctors don't know exactly what is going on, then they blame it on our Anxiety. I, too, had Anxiety before (since I was born), but when I developed a goiter, a multi cystic goiter, it took a few years to get the diag. of hyperthyroidism. Then, one of the cysts became toxic & I developed hyperthyroid. Had Radio-active iodine which "killed" my thyroid & have to take synthetic thyroid hormone everyday. One day, & I hope soon the medical profession will treat the Whole person --that's hasn't happened, as yet!
Let it be known that I am NOT blaming All my anxiety on my thyroid by No means --I have been a nervous person, like I stated since birth --Generational Anxiety, my Mother & Grandmother Very nervous, etc. However, my thyroid being so off contributed to making my Anxiety Much worse. My Severe Anx. Disorder has many factors incl. Nature, and Nurture & many stressors in life. Being human, most people have some anxiety, unfortunately those with nervous illness just have more than the average!
Ooh I agree with you. I fully believe if that doctor would have taken me seriously, I wouldn't have fallen as far down the rabbit hole. I wouldn't have these thoughts, worries and now zero trust in the medical community. I used to have 100% trust. Now I get anxious with doctor's appointments and their advice because I don't want to be hurt again.
I could have written Exactly what you wrote. Unfortunately, I didn't know any better & got on too many prescription drugs which I cannot get off of now! Doctor's are brainwashed by Big Pharma, and then their patients get brainwashed by their doctor especially years ago when there wasn't so much info. & when people put doctor's in charge & trusted the "Experts!" I don't trust them anymore, but it's kind of "late in the game" getting off of meds. Though, I have cut down on some & now do tell my doctor how I feel. She listens! If my hyperthroid. had been diag. earlier, and my Mitral Valve Prolapse had been diag. Years before it did, then I won't have had SO much suffering as I did both physically & mentally. Also, in my time there was Unbelievable Stigma with people who had anxiety, depression & we suffered in complete silence. There was NO proper, or any help in those days & we just kept silence. I hear you, and sorry that your doctor "missed the boat," & many of us have had the same experiences.
My mother also suffered in silence. She’s told me many times how she felt like she would have been a better mother if she had some help from meds. I’ve thought of trying to get off some of my meds, but it’s scary. What is I get worse and have to start all over again. And I agree, doctors are brainwashed. It’s all about the money. Thank you for your reply and I hope you have a blessed day
Thank you! Some people may just have to take certain meds. all their lives, and that's alright if that helps them!
This is terrible, when you don't know what's causing it, or what will help you. I've had this my whole life - I would refuse to go to school; later in life, needed medical leaves from work because of it. Has there been any trauma in your life? I was hospitalized as a child; they said I keep things bottled up. Keep writing here for support. Not many people on the outside will understand, or feel your pain,
Other than 2 divorces, on of which was pretty traumatic, there has been no real trauma in my life. I guess I’m on of the fortunate ones. Thank you for your support ❤️
Divorce can be very traumatic, I went through one - took me years to get any confidence back, yet I've never been the same since. Could be stress causing all the crying, plus beating yourself up about everything, when it's hardly your fault at all. I've heard of people having PTSD from events they can't even remember. Either from being too young to remember, or blocking out of the memory of the event. I hope you will be able to ease up on yourself.
Oh, count yourself lucky to have a wonderful man. This is not to minimize your pain in anyway, or diminish how you feel. I am sure you are very grateful for the wonderful relationship.
That's super! Same with me - bad marriage, now a great, caring guy. Must be body chemistry related. Getting older seems to change things around, It;s confusing and hard to accept.
I can tell you what works for me when I am all worked up and scared: I was told about this great supplement called myocalm plus from my chiropractor that helps me calm down. It is this stuff that has chamomile I think and valerian root and some other herbs. Now keep in mind, I am not a doctor, but this works for me. If you are too nervous to try it, then try that tea called cup of calm that you can just buy at the grocery store or on amazon.com too I think. It is from the tea company called traditional medicinals. They have good teas that can really help. I just have a couple cups of that tea and I feel so much better after that. It has chamomile and lavender and some other stuff to calm you down naturally without having to take medication. Both these options help me but it is hard to say how it will work for you since I am not your doctor. But I wish you luck and I hope you feel better soon.
I love Traditional Medicinals tea...I have never tried Cup of Calm so thank you for recommending this, I will try it. I would rather find herbal alternatives to medication.
I can definitely understand that. I haven't started medication because I am scared to. But I'm getting worse so I don't know how much longer I can continue the way I'm feeling before trying medication. This is all so hard.
I find drinking a cup of tea that has Kava in it sometimes helps lessen anxiety. Also saffron and passionflower can be helpful. I will say it doesn't prevent my anxiety but I find it can lessen an attack.
Have they given you duloxetine for anxiety by day, trazadone at night? That seems to be a winning formula for me.
Also coping skills -- learning to focus on pleasant things because the more your mind is off the anxiety, the weaker the anxiety gets. The simpler and sillier the pleasant thing, the better.
And finally, you have to believe (because it's true) that what your mood disorders are telling you about reality is a pack of lies.
I’m on klonopin for the anxiety along with four other for the depression and anxiety also. I’m still and have been trying to find coping skills that will work for me. When I am so deep in the black hole, nothing can even touch it. I agree with the last paragraph, but sometimes it’s hard.
One 'secret' coping skill is recognizing that it's one thing to have a mood disorder, but a far worse thing to think about the fact that you have a mood disorder. Doing so almost always makes it worse.
Getting it off your mind and focusing on something pleasant is huge. This does not -- say again does not -- mean trying to con yourself into thinking you're not sick after all. You are. So am I. Period. No mind game is going to change that.
But it does mean thinking about your illness only to the extent that it is absolutely necessary and no more than that. Like when you see the therapist or doctor, when it's time to take meds, when you call to make an appointment, when to deploy these coping skills.
Instead focus on pleasant scenes, things and memories. The scenes and things that work for me are looking at fall foliage (can be done year round on the net), going to a pet store and watching the lop-eared bunnies in their pen, thinking about great food, remembering vacations or visiting relatives. For me, just walking around a hardware store cheers me up because it gets me in a constructive state of mind, causes me to think of things I can fix or build.
Your pleasant scenes etc will likely be different, but the simpler and sillier they,are, the better.
This will be hard at first but don't give up, you'll get slowly better at it as you go.
I have other coping skills if interested, but for now, give that one a try.
Though I am a male, 64, I have many of the same feelings. I did go into the clinic this morning and both got something prescribed, and talked with a psychologist. I share your feelings about being a burden to others. I tend to just shut down and not go anywhere. All I can say is you are not alone.
I don't think anyone who hasn't suffered from depression in a major way can't entirely emphasize. You have to have gone through a crisis to have any idea how it devastates one's life. I have pretty much stopped talking about it with most of my friends, except for one who has had similar issues.
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