Hey there... I'm a newbie. :)

[sunshinedancer]

Hi, I'm sunshine and I'm new to this.

I have major depressive disorder, OCD, generalized panic disorder, agoraphobia, and anorexia.

In 2014, my ex-husband cheated on me and when I asked for a divorce, he hung himself in front of me a few days later. My disabled mother and I cut him down and resuscitated him. He survived with only minimal short term memory loss, thank God. I, on the other hand, lost myself.

I was completely isolated for about a year and a half and I recently moved back in with my mom. I have given up my career as a nurse and am now trying to focus on healing myself. It is very, very hard for me to go places and I have lost interest in most everything that I used to enjoy.

I do go to therapy and have been seeing a psychiatrist, but I did not like him. He doesn't seem to listen to me and believes that I am able to work... He actually encouraged me to get a job and allow myself to have another mental breakdown there so that I could get disability. I have already had that happen twice and I absolutely will not subject myself to such embarrassment and trauma again.

I have applied for disability and have been denied once. I now have a lawyer and am submitting my reconsideration. I never thought that my life would end up this way. I am only 28. I do NOT want to be on disability forever. I still want to finish my degree and work.

Anyway, this has been the most difficult 2 years of my life. I am hoping to meet others on the same journey as I am.

[giulianaD]

I hear you. I have never thought I would be like this. It is horryfying.

[giulianaD]

Hi there, seems we are all new. although we have all suffered for too long already. hang in there. find your purpose daily hon. be safe and you are not alone

[tricemarie]

you a strong woman to leave you cheating husband, I wish I was strong like you.

[sweetiepye]

Hello and welcome to our very kind and supportive site.I hope we will be able to help you, or at least give you some relief. Everything I say to you is just my opinion of course. I have had many of the illnesses you describe including the agoraphobia . I saw a behavioral therapist which means we didn't work on past behavior so much as we worked on current problems . This was very helpful to me and along with anti depressants I was able to start going out alone, face panic attacks etc. Your Doctor should be disbarred. I know that's a legal term, but it's all I could think of at the moment. Focus on yourself right now and take extra care. Getting over your anxieties will take a lot of energy. The idea of you working right now is crazy. You don't have enough energy to give to yourself and your patients. You would end up doing a disservice to both. Some day you will be healthy again and you will get your life back. I can hear the strength in you. You may be down, but you are not out. Cyber hugs to you from, Pam

[NFDK]

Hello, sunshinedancer - and welcome. This really is a wonderful site, full of kind and caring people - people who have been on similar journeys to you and me. I can't really add anything to the wise, warm and encouraging words from sweetiepye , except to say - stick around. We'll get to know each other With very best wishes, Wendy x

[mysmugcat]

Hi.