When will there be light

[Missblues]

Hi. Well I've recently joined here with the major underlying want of feeling supported.

I've lost my motivation to do anything at all. I've been of the ambitious kind and I feel like I've hit my grave and that my life is worthless. I constantly keep worrying about how I'll survive, how will I succeed and I have this constant fear of losing everything.

I feel low most of the times and well I've lost the only friends I had for reasons pointing towards me.

Currently i just feel so l lost in life. I don't know where I'm heading. I'm lost and confused.

There's so many things I need to work on. I'm overweight because of PCOS, I've lost my confidence hence I want to lose weight and look pretty. I want to Excel in my career by being disciplined and I genuinely just want to work on myself. But I feel something holding me back.

This heaviness in my chest and this stress of literally everything. I feel like I'm living in a cage within.

I'm sick and tired of people telling me that I'm the only person who can help me and get me out of this. But sometimes I just don't want to fight anymore. Sometimes I just want to let go and feel the ease. Sometimes I'm just done with worrying because it's so exhausting and tiring.

I don't know "how" to get myself out of this.

I feel so lonely and not confident at all. I've lost my charm and I feel I'm capable of nothing.

Being active is such a task because my body feels so heavy. I have to push through a big rock to get even the simplest of tasks done. My mind won't stop thinking and i don't know what to do anymore.

Sometimes I just feel like ripping myself apart and letting it all out.

[Shield_Of_Faith]

I'm sorry you've been going through a lot. I hope things get better for you soon. People here have been very understanding so I hope you can find comfort here. 🙏

[rubyrhythm in reply to Shield_Of_Faith]

I recently joined as well and have found it comforting to come here and see that I'm not alone and that others are finding their way along a healing journey, one step at a time. Your post resonates with me a bit. I have been feeling like I don't have a direction and that I'm not succeeding (whatever that really is). Today I started a list of things I want - like an emotional or aspirational Christmas list I guess. I'm hoping it helps me figure out what direction I want to go. I'm glad that you joined this community and are reaching out.

[Shield_Of_Faith in reply to rubyrhythm]

I'm glad I can help out, even a little.And the list is a good idea to figure out things to guide you and to keep you on track with your life goals.

Thank you for the kind words I deeply appreciate it. 🙂👍

[LilyAnnepuppy]

Are you receiving any treatment? Have you been diagnosed with depression or anxiety? I know how you feel. And without my psychiatrist, therapist, support group, meds, prayer, meditation and exercise, I couldn’t function.

You’re not alone.

[Marysblue]

Those thoughts are your depression lying to you. And it can rob you of motivation.Those are just thoughts you're telling yourself. Label them as just thoughts.

This is something I just got through reading in an article..

And I have the same problem and struggles with being hard on myself.

Peace is found through not judging. And not judging yourself. I wish we could just be more kind to ourselves.

Trauma has left shame. But it is not our true nature.

[Toddzen]

I get similar thought patterns. This disease attacks my sense of Self. It's critical and judgmental. I'm never good enough. I had to get medication to help me and a Therapist to work on these negative thought patterns.

[Hidden]

Try to just do small things. Be kind to yourself and be glad that you at least made an effort. Don’t beat yourself up. I am struggling very much myself, I understand what you’re talking about.

[Tealpillow]

Hi Missblues - one of my dear friends IRL (who I haven’t spoken to in years because of my depression, of course) has PCOS and she struggles with it as well. Like you described, getting exercise was hard because of her weight and depression. She was the person who introduced me to an app that helps you get exercise in short sessions (30 seconds -10 mins) from wherever you are in your house. It’s called Wakeout and they have fun little things you can do in the kitchen, sitting on the couch, and my favorite: exercises while in bed. I’m lazy.

I encourage you to try it out because even a little movement and exercise is a BIG win.

[jackiesj in reply to Tealpillow]

yes exercise in bed help...you tube it.

[Tealpillow in reply to jackiesj]

I LOVE those! Just did one last night and got peaceful sleep 😴

[Sylvain-]

I could have written most of your message. It perfectly matches what I experienced for most of my life. Unfortunately, I don't have a magic solution to share.

Treatments somewhat help to deal with the "acute" crisis. Psychotherapy and cognitive behavioral therapy give tricks to manage dark thoughts to some extent. But I can not imagine any sign of remission in the foreseeable future.

You may not find definitive solutions here. But you will find people that will understand you. Sometimes it helps to know you are not the only one struggling with these difficulties.

[jackiesj]

Do check with your doc if you are on meds. Some have adverse reactions for me...even over the counter. "living in a cage within"....that is poetry!Yes i get it but you put it grand. Poetry.com....put those thoughts down.Missblues..you are not alone.Many here understand alot ...sending a hug from all of us and count...each movement as a positive...i walked outside 1 time today YES! Routine is important to me but with all of the issues its gone.i realized thats ok...who is or what is normal? What is normal? You count in lives, that means alot.You count to us just where you are....it gets better and than can crash...but back up we go..with help. blessings your way.