Feeling really sad

I have worked for the same firm for 25 years this year. I have 3 main bosses, one I have known for the full 25 years, one for 15 years and one for 10 years.

The boss that I have known for 15 years is 66 years old, a heavy smoker, 6ft 8 inches, weighs about 20 stone, no fat. He is one of the most "vital" people I have ever known, you know when he walks into a room. He drove through Africa in the 80's delivering aid and has one of the only original "Band Aid" flags. He took in 20 mistreated and starving horses last year, as well as 2 blind English springer spaniels that had been dumped in the woods. He is such a character.

He was diagnosed with prostate cancer a couple of years ago and fought it off with chemo. The cancer came back last December. It spread to his bones and he was scheduled to have a hip replacement today. They didn't go ahead with it because they did a scan 2 days ago and it has spread everywhere. They have said that he has, at most, 3 weeks to live.

I will miss him, he is always unfailingly charming and ironically we were smoking buddies!

Prostate cancer is said to be more aggressive and has an increased chance of returning if you smoke.

Is there no end to what this crap does to people. I just wish that every single smoker in the flipping world could stop right this minute and never ever smoke again. Smoking has taken far too much from me this year.

I have wanted to say all of that for 2 days so thank you for reading.

Molly x

14 Replies

  • Thank you Max, I'm proud of you too .

    I just wish that it was more widely known that quitting smoking doesn't have to be an uphill struggle, that if you join a place like this, it not only is relatively easy (more like having a bad cold for a couple of weeks), it can be enjoyable!

    There is no need for the angst and worry about quitting. I can not believe I worried about quitting for so long, but more than that, I really can't believe that places like this aren't widely known!

    It makes me angry that I thought that it was so difficult that there was no way on earth I would manage it when, in reality, it was so very doable because of the education I got by reading stuff on here and by meeting the people I have met on here also, yourself included.

    Stupid stupid stupid, it should be on the 6 o'clock news. People die every day and there is no need at all :mad:

  • Hi Molly

    That really is sad. Made me think when I read it. I also feel when u stop smoking it makes u think of life a bit more, or it has for me. I am the same age as u and quit 3 months but all of a sudden I feel life is to short and I need to do things with my hubby and kids..and reading your post really does make me think life's to short and why the hell did I try and shorten mine.

    You should tell him how u feel and that u will miss him.

    Xxx thinking of u. X

  • I know what you mean Ladybug, we were all so very stupid :mad:

    The good thing is that hopefully we will all make the very most of what we have now.

  • Hi Molly, sorry to hear your news.

    You have had some lovely times with him, and he will always be in your thoughts.

    It's horrific how smoking is still legal given what it does to people.

    I hope you can stay strong over the next few weeks, it's such a dreadful thing.

    Thinking of you- Laura x

  • Thank you Laura, I will be ok. I'm not about to slip now, don't worry.

    You're right though, I had some laughs with him, he led such an amazing life.

  • Very sad indeed, Molly, he sounds an amazing man!

    Cancer takes so many, its a cruel and indiscriminate illness, poor guy I really feel for him :(

    Smoking is truly a killer, I went to value a house today where the owner died from a heart attack (not found for 2 weeks). More packets of cigs about than I've ever seen outside of a tobacconists, loads of medication (assuming it was heart stuff) not been cleaned up the bed where she died bore the evidence. I don't suppose the owner was any older than your boss, I'm no medic but I'm guessing that the smoking and the heart trouble were linked.

    We give ourselves the best chance by quitting we can't change the past but we can try to mold the future.

    I hope that what time he has left is filled with the care and love if his friends and family and when the inevitable happens its painless and peaceful.

  • Oh how awful Molly, i am sorry.

    Such a nice man too, taken away because of those stupid sticks.

    Really wonder why they're still legal!!

    (( Molly )) xx

  • Hi everyone,

    I just wanted to post that my boss passed away this morning.

    He was an incredible man and I will miss him.

    I'm so very pleased that I and everyone on this forum has either already quit or is working towards it.

    It's not only a disgusting habit but it also only ever brings unhappiness and heartache. It has no positive place in anyone's life.

    I feel sad but in a way grateful that it was relatively quick, it's more than a smoking related death normally affords.


  • Aww I'm sorry Molly

    (((( Hugs ))))

    One of my neighbours died of smoking last November and he went down very fast as well.

    It's an evil thing, smoking.

  • So sorry Molly, it's heartbreaking even if you know it's going to happen ... :( x

  • Sorry to hear that Molly my thoughts are with his family and friends.

  • Thanks everyone, I just wish that smoking could be eradicated for once and all. It would save so much heartache.

    Molly x

  • So sorry to hear that Molly, thinking of you x

  • Molly,

    So sorry to hear that you have lost your friend. Maybe, just maybe another person will quit today because of his passing.

    God Bless,


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