Starting the 4th month on a sad note

Hi all,

I wasn't going to say anything, I had some bad news yesterday evening my brother in-law had a massive hart attack yesterday and passed away. I had not wanted a ciggie it was not my 1st thought, that was my sister, she will not let any of us in except her daughter. I had to get this of my chest as I have thought about smoking this evening I know it will not solve anything. My sister and brother in-law stopped smoking 11 years ago and never looked back they both enjoyed life as non smokers more than they ever did as smokers.

Out of respect for my brother in-law and I know he would be very upset if I use his death as an excuse to smoke that I have decided to talk about it and not give in as it wont solve anything and I will would be full of regrets. I feel better for writing this down and reading it I just think that the old me would of reached for the packet of 20 fags chained smoked them and even believed they were making it all better. What a fool the old me was and I'm so glad I have this forum to make me see clearly.



15 Replies

  • Oh Dolly.... how terrible. I am so sorry for you and your family, what a tragic thing. Please accept my condolences..... you will be getting through this much, much easier without smoking and I am glad you realize this already. Your sister will open her door soon to you all I am sure..... My thoughts are with you and your family. XOXOXOX

  • I am so sorry

    Hi Dolly, I am so sorry to hear your news. Like you the old me would have reached for the packet of cigs & smoked as many as I could. I knew then as I know now that they don't make any difference at all to what has happened. Just a way to try & deal with it. Reach for something else instead babe, not somethign that is gonna do you harm in the process. Keep strong sweetheart, my thoughts are with you & your family. Love. Gaynor. xxx

  • Dolly that's very sad news, here's a virtual ((((((((((((((hug))))))))))))))))) from me and well done for staying strongxx.

  • Hi Dolly

    I am so sad to hear this dreadful news about your brother in law

    Well done for not reaching for the fags and you're right it's the last thing he would want you to do

    You and all your family are in my thoughts


    Marg xxxxxx

  • Hi Dolly.

    So sorry to hear about your loss.

    Hugs coming your way.

  • Thank you

    Hi all,

    Thanks for your kind words it means a lot to me. I've spoken to my niece and she said her Mum is safe and that is the main thing she just cant face the rest of the family yet.

    Stewart will be proud of me for not reaching for the fags and that makes me smile, it also helped seeing all your kind messages a big thank you from me and my family.



  • Morning all,

    Feeling more positive this morning glad I did not grab the fags it wouldn't of solved any thing and I would of felt worse. I will have to wait for my sister to let me in which she will do soon I think.

    Problems will come and bad news might rear it's ugly head again, but smoking will not heal any thing or make it better, only I can do that I'm so glad to be a non smoker this morning thank you once again for your support



  • Morning Dolly,

    I am glad to hear you are still a non smoker you have proved you are strong enough to stay that way, People react differently at times like this but I hope you and your family can come together and help each other through your sad time, My thoughts and prayers are with you.


  • Hi Dolly

    Well done for staying strong at this time, you're right smoking wouldn't have helped you in the least

    My thoughts are with you


    Marg xxxxxxxx

  • Morning Dolly hun

    So sorry I missed this post yesterday. So very sad for you and your family Big hugs from me. Really pleased you stayed strong hun I gone for the smokes when bad things happen in old quits but always so sorry I did. Hope your sister is a bit better soon its a big shock to lose someone you love. Your all in my prayers. Linda xxxxxxxxxxxx

  • Hi Dolly,

    I too am most sorry to hear the news but I am most proud that you have not smoked! xxxx

  • Hi Dolly,

    Just seen your post. Really sorry to hear this terrible news, and like everyone else has said, really admire you for getting through without smoking.

    Keep strong


  • Evening,

    Thanks again I've now seen my sister and I feel better for it. To cut a long story short, we had a fall out 15 months ago and not spoken and to be honest can't really remember why, how sad is that.

    Everything is fine and she was pleased that we went to see her. She was over the moon that I'd stopped smoking and said Stewart would of been pleased.

    I'm so pleased in time of grief that I didn't turn to smokes and I know I can be strong and I chose not to smoke. I choose not to smoke again I have proved that to myself you can get through the tough times, without smoking and it wont make any thing different or make things better. Thanks to this forum and you lovely people I will continue to not to smoke



  • Hi Dolly :)

    I'm so pleased you've been able to see your sister, you'll feel a bit better now

    also pleased your differences are over


    Marg xxxxxxxxx

  • Hi all,

    I wasn't going to say anything,


    From a selfish point of view Dolly, I'm glad you have. When I get a kick in the teeth like you've had Dolly, I hope I think of the way you've handled the situation and do likewise. Glad you're reconciled with your sister Dolly, and thanks for sharing your sadness with us. David

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