Hi I suffer from ptsd from being held hostage tied up beaten and raped on nearly daily basis from my ex will I ever get over the fear I have with it also my nightmares r so scary I jump out of bed thanks

5 Replies

  • HI there laineyelvis

    There is an excellent Forum here called 'Heal my PTSD' the link is below, take care.

    Best wishes


  • Hello, welcome to the site. I am really sorry to hear that you experienced such a horrific assault. I too suffer with Complex PTSD, triggered by an assault. There are treatments available, that are supported by evidence, to help sufferers of ptsd. One is called EMDR, the other one is CBT. I don't know if you are in the UK, if you are there might be a local trauma service available that provides these therapies. I think that your GP can refer you, or with mine you can self refer. There will be a waiting list, as there always is for psychological therapies, but there are techniques that can help you whilst you wait. Try googling help for ptsd, or there are a number of books available on Amazon, and it is even easier if you use kindle. As you are experiencing symptoms now, I would choose one that talks about what to do, rather than one that goes into great deatail about the theory behind ptsd.

    I do know how hard it is to cope with symptoms of ptsd and my heart goes out to you. Nightmares are particularly nasty, as I find that I can actively avoid going to sleep because I am frightened of having a nightmare. As I also have bipolar, lack of sleep is a trigger for me to have a hypomanic episode, so I have to monitor how much sleep I really have and how many times my sleep is disturbed by nightmares. If I have too many in a cluster, my GP will prescribe a weeks course of Zopiclone, a sleeping tablet, however they only affect me for 3 or 4 nights, and after that they have no affect at all.

    I have tried self medicating using alcohol and have found this a disaster. For me, it makes the quality of any sleep poor, and the nightmares more vivid plus it is a depressant so is best avoided.

    One of the techniques I was taught was to write out the nightmare like a script for a play, but to add your own ending to it. I think this helps because it is easy to get stuck at the most terrifying point of the nightmare and never have a conclusion. This reminds me of the bit in the Harry Potter books/films where Professor Moony releases a bogart from a wardrobe and it takes the form of the thing the student fears most, the student then has to think of their fear in a ridiculous way. I remember Neville Longbottom's fear was his grandmother, so he imagined her with a silly hat on. I think this is to do with being able to reprogramme our brains.

    Another technique is to practice good sleep hygiene. Again just google it and you will get loads of info. I am really fortunate to have a husband and he has noticed that if I am going into a nightmare, I become really vocal and move from words to whimpering. If he hugs and holds me, or rubs my back, this can calm me down and avoid the course of the nightmare. As I said I am fortunate, you might not have a partner you share a bed with. It does have its downside, he snores and steals all the duvet! Sometimes however, I can have a nightmare and he is not aware of it. When I come to and realise that I am safe and it is just a nightmare, I have a cocker spaniel called Molly, who is kind of my unrecognised service dog. She sleeps on the bed with us and will come up and gently nuzzle me, she will clean my face if I have been crying, and will lie down right up close next to me. We then snuggle down together and try to go back to sleep. If you don't have a pet you can do this with, or are allowed to, you could try a big cuddly toy, or making a hot water bottle that is covered with a fluffy cover, I have a frog 🐸.

    Meditation is a helpful thing to practice, there are loads of you tube videos, apps and mp3 examples. Unless you are used to meditation, I would suggest you go for a short meditation to begin with and then build up the amount of time you spend meditating. Some meditation is specifically to help you sleep, or calm down or relax. There is something called paired muscle relaxation and I find this really useful if my body feels really tense after a nightmare, as if I am going to explode.

    Another thing to remember, and this can be the hardest thing, is to remember that it has happened in the past and you survived. This is in no way meant to denigrate your experience or deny the horror of what you went through. But it is just to remind you that you are a survivor, and although it may feel as if the assault is happening all over again, it isn't. Having physical objects that you can see and touch can help in the here and now, to anchor yourself into the present and remind you that what happened is in the past.

    There isn't a recommended medication for ptsd, and the NICE guidelines only recommend trauma therapy. However the ptsd will obviously have an affect on your mental health so I would advise you to go and see a GP asap. Explain exactly what is going on and they may prescribe an antidepressant to help you whilst you wait for treatment.

    Sorry this is such a long post but I hope that it is helpful. Will you get over ptsd? It is certainly possible to move on from it and for it not to have such a major affect on your life. Take care.


  • Thank u

  • Hello Lainey, I'm not surprised you suffer from PTSD ,that sounds awful. I am sure that time will eventually work its magic and those memories and the pain and nightmares will lessen. However I would also think that counselling would help this process considerably. Judging by your other posts you have seen your GP and been prescribed drugs to help and I would also approach your GP about the possibility of counselling.


  • Thank u

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