Hi All
I wanted to ask if anyone else is suffering memory lossbecause of the amount of medication they are one.. My situation is as follows
I have had loads of problems which all started with a heart attack 10 years ago which after a few months I had a triple bypass. At that time I was not over large compared to what I am now plus was quite a busy soul back then. However it did not go to plan or as I was told it would. The first few weeks went fine and everything was working as should but then I got a leg infection and things progressed from there And I was left with still having angina attacks and unable to do much because of the pain from the operation and because i soon got breathless. I was tested but was told I was unsuitable for any more surgery. Also I am still on the meds I was back then and now a lot more because since then I have developed problems in my lower back. So have more meds to treat my back as 3 lower vertebra are failing also my knees have started to grind against each other. But now with my back and my knee problems the surgeon has said he will not do anything as I have been listed as a high risk due to my heart problems and at risk from being put under the anaesthetics so unless it is a life saving operation they will not consider it. However the surgeon has said that if it gets to a stage where I am thinking about putting my head through a noose and jumping of a kitchen chair he might reconsider (and he worded it just like that)? I also have a few other minor problems. But also on top of all of what I have mentioned I have major depression issues and take to my bed during the day or get out of the way and cry a hell of a lot trivial things just seam to get me down. I do have the best intentions of doing things till the time comes then I cannot be bothered to do them . Other things like at night I dont or cannot sleep due to worrying about the dark and dying or thinking something bad will happen. Or as soon as I close my eyes its like im in a confined space such as a coffin or a cave which is getting smaller and smaller and I need to get out and fight for breath. plus I open the curtains and put the lights on. I cannot even watch the Tv when things come on like cave,funerals or anyone being trapped jut sends me over the edge and I get into a right sweat and have to either turn it off or go into another room. Im in a right mess and now what with me not doing anything my weight is piling on even though I dont eat that much.. My wife is at her wits end with me not doing anything or not sleeping at night and being depressed is also causing me to not look after myself right which she cannot believe for a man of 57. She is good but has no compassion She just thinks I should just snap out of it and thats that. The CBT work I see has asked to talk to her but my wife wont hear of it as she says some things are best left private. By that I mean she helps me with the loo and she does not want anyone knowing about that not even family also even though i am unable to walk far or do much phisically I have a wheel chair but she wont push me in it as she said she is not being seen pushing me, She said it might be different if I had had my legs off?. But it is all building up on both me and my wife she seams to have everything to do and im a spectator. I can stand long enough to possibly wash a few pots or say get the cats food out but then that's it I have to sit as the pain gets to much in either my knees or back It just seams as its all boiled down to night tablets days tablets days tablets night repeat.. If you know what I mean. My wife has said she could never have thought her life would be like this at her age as she is 9 years younger than me. Im also sorry to say there is hardly anything between us other than our daughter and arguing there is the odd time but they are few and far between
Like iv said Im on loads of tablets and I wanted to know if anyone else has or is suffering from memory loss due to medication . As it seams to be getting worse. It is mainly the stuff that has happened recently that is going or being forgot but now its started to be phone numbers and things like that iv known for a few years, Iv been tested for dementia via blood tests and the doctors say its ok. But I am very worried In fact I am even more worried about my memory going than my other problems. Because to be left like that it would be the worst thing I could imagine and like all my nightmares come true. Its a state that is the worst sentance I can think off especially with how am because every time you forget it would be like going into a box then remembering its like you would have been let out again. Just the thought of it makes me well up into tears..
Any way iv been working on this for a few days now and have joind so I can put it up I hope it gets read and there are people in the same sort of situations that can relate to me and themselves. And hopefully might get to talk at least it would be a start I suppose? I also sorry for going on and on..
All the very best Os