Little lost

[winternight]

I don't really have access to a therapist. And I don't have anyone supportive physically around me. So I am trying to make to with the normal life at home. But it's getting difficult. My temper is getting bad. And I am not able to forget the past stuff, the unresolved stuff. I should be focusing on coming out of it, I have several moods in one day. I want to stop thinking about someone else and for once in life, learn to care about myself and work on myself. But I don't know how to. I deserve someone who would be there atleast, but that seems to be far fetched.

[Nathalie99 Partner]

Hi winternight,

I am sorry you don't have access to a therapist or a support system. This is very difficult to deal with trauma on your own.

Do you feel comfortable at all to call a helpline and talk to someone over the phone?

They are not just for crisis, they offer listening ear and hearing another person can sometimes give us the energy and encouragement.

PTSD is like that. People tell things like "move on" but it is on a subconscious level and it isn't possible to directly stop the ptsd symptoms, if they are severe.

It does interfere with everyday life and it is very tough. I am sorry that you are struggling... I know what it's like.

You deserve working on yourself. At the same time I know that in life there are other responsibilities and it makes it hard to focus on ourselves and what we need to recover.

It is an intense process, likely facing traumas and it may be needed to take more time to do this very tough recovery work.

I know how tough it is not having an opportune moment to focus on healing. This is really important yet I don't know the answer to that. Do you have any sick leave or can you take time off from your responsibilities and focus on your healing?

Wishing you find opportunities and wishing you a lot of hope...

[winternight in reply to Nathalie99]

I am at home, I have to start my post grad in one or two months. But still I don't feel like doing basic household chores, doing my daily routine tasks. I have recently had some triggering experiences... And they are hurting me everyday.. I do get distracted in between but then back again. It feels like everything reminds me of that. I want to heal, feel good, be able to feel that life is actually pleasant again... I am unable to do it right now

[Mamamichl]

Thank you for the honesty. You are welcome to call 988 if you’re in the United States. I know what it’s like to not have a support system or one that is toxic and makes things worse. One idea my counselor gave was to journal out your feelings. It didn’t work for me, but it seems to help many others. Do you have any hobbies that allow you to express yourself, or anything that you consider self care? Moments of those helps me.

[winternight in reply to Mamamichl]

I did try journaling.. it helped a bit. But due to recent triggering experiences.. I get reminded of those things again and again. It's getting hard to cheer myself up

[BigBigSad]

I’m sorry you are suffering alone 🙏 It is very difficult. I have sometimes found workbooks to be helpful tools. There are many for PTSD and if you Google you may find some free online. Using this site to express your feelings is a good start. Keep going ✌️

[winternight in reply to BigBigSad]

Thankyou for responding, I will try that