It's Monday night 01/26/15 I am all over the place today. Beating myself up from " acting out" in a addiction yesterday again. I am mad at myself in looking back . The stress disorder was building up in me yesterday and rather than use new tools I had learned in emtional frredom tech I failed to use those tools and gave into cruising for lust again. Then tonight I get someone angry at me because I forgot to write down a message to pass on to a co worker now this is another triggering event to get me emtionally upset again. I am using my eft tapping skills to try to bring that building inner distress down. On a scale from 1 to 10 ten being the highest that emtional distress is around 8 and its building again tknight. Thank god I am not raging on anybody . Just a lot of fear and anxiety. Afaid of rejection or not getting this guy at work approval. . I made a mistake. Mistakes are for learning. But some people especially in a work setting don't see it that way.
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WildernessScout
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Good to hear you are trying EFT. Be patient with yourself. You are right mistakes are human. You can't control how someone else will act. Keep trying.
Thank you friend. It Tuesday night 01/27/15 . Everything does seem to be working out. I seem to be such a pessimist and always see the negative side of things , at first glance. I will indeed keep trying. Thanks for your kind attention to validate my sufferring
I appreciate you being so honest and real with where you are at.
Yeah...it is so easy to beat ourselves up when we have a hard day and "relapse" into an old pattern/habit that no longer serves us. Been there. Done that. Who hasn't?
Sorry you forgot to pass on a message at your new job. That is such a common, human mistake. The guy is a real jerk if he holds a grudge over this!
Yes! I have fear of rejection & disapproval too! Damn!
Can you think about what is NOT wrong?
You have a job!
You are using EFT!
You have this forum of caring, understanding people!
You didn't rage on anyone!
Today, is a new day. Hope it is a better one for you!
Thank you it seems I do better at loving myself after you love me before I can learn to love myself truly. Your right. I guess I am on the pity pot today. Today is Tuesday 01/27/15" I am getting into a lot of self pity and self loathing . I am having some health challenges over a old back injury that can turned into some arthritis that is causing some major problems. I know that all underneath all this superficial stuff like acting out. Thanks for reducing my shame and gult and still accepting me. It's really healing experience for me. All I have is this community right now . I cannot afford professional counseling.
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I am experiencing more flashbacks...I think this is good.
Isolated
my own worst enemy (possible trigger warning)
