Back after A Long Absence (TW? Brief mention of sexuality)

[BrainIsFull]

Hello everyone! I have been absent from this forum for a long time. Now I have found my way back!

Lots has happened in my life in the past six to eight months. As always, there have been ups and downs. Some exciting things are happening but it is combined with a LOT of confusion! (I'm not trying to be enigmatic. I just don't know exactly how to explain it other than to say I have had a sexual awakening at the age of 58).

Anyway, I could not be any more confused! 😂 It's like all the different ages I carry inside me are in competition. (The teenager who wants to get specific s*xual needs met, the responsible adult, the critical parent and then the small and terrified little unformed raw part). And I am being pulled back and forth between emotional poles.

So I need more practice in regulating my nervous system in healthy ways and getting in touch with the healthy adult part of myself. (As opposed to finding ways to numb myself which is how I have spent the Christmas holidays).

So finding my way back here is a huge step toward using healthy coping skills! And I am proud of myself!

Thank you for letting me put all this down. And I am happy to be back💚😊💚

[WaitingGame10]

Welcome back BrainIsFull

I remember your previous posts! It sounds like you are discovering a lot about yourself and I hope writing here helps. Wishing you all the best.

[BrainIsFull in reply to WaitingGame10]

Hi! Yes, I remember you, too!

I'm glad to be back. 💚

[Dolphin14 Moderator]

BrainIsFull

Welcome back.

You seem to have a great handle on your parts. You've done some great work to get to this point.

You should be very proud of yourself. You have accomplished so much.

Wishing you the best of luck as you move forward with your healthy coping skills

🐬

[BrainIsFull in reply to Dolphin14]

Thanks for this positive reframe of my situation!💚 It's so easy to see what I am NOT feeling good about and then that overshadows anything positive that I have accomplished.

It's good to remember that progress doesn't always look nice and neat!

[Mamamichl]

welcome back! I had to look at your profile since this age is a bit different for women and men. You probably hit a part of your menopause that I’ve heard about with sexuality. I’ve always been curious about it, so I appreciate your description as a 40 yo female. I can only imagine feeling from multiple ages at one time. I’ve gone through some major changes similar since my kiddo was born. For 8 years it messed up my sex life (reconstructive surgery and lots of therapy), and I’m just now getting it back over the last year or two. I’m also curious about your experience more (if you’re willing to share more that is).

I’m glad you are actively working on coping skills. I have been trying my best on that front as well, but it’s more about work issues than personal ones.

[BrainIsFull in reply to Mamamichl]

Hi! Thank you for your input!💚

I am more than happy to share more with you about my experience! I wish I would have known how exciting it would be to reach this age. I had dreaded aging. And even though I am often completely confused about what is happening and where my life is going, it is THRILLING! 😃

[Mamamichl in reply to BrainIsFull]

I know what it’s like to be confused about your sexuality and body. For a while i felt shame and embarrassment because of the damage birthing has caused. I’m recently getting back into it and feeling confident in my new body again.

[BrainIsFull in reply to Mamamichl]

That is great to hear!