Where do I go from here?

It has been 7 years since what has happened to me. I have made progress with every part of my life except socially. I have not made one friend in 7 years. I have a hard time trusting people. Actually I am unsure how it got to be this long. I haven't been intimate with anyone in 6 years. Basically the time I have been sober. I just don't know how to transition back into that part of my life anymore. I feel like I have been standing in the same position for that long and just realized how much time has been wasted. I've felt it emotionally but taking action to do something about it just made it worse. I went to a therapist who did emdr and other things that only made the ptsd come back stronger during the sessions and after. I did that for about 3 years till I felt I was done putting myself through that. I was always social. I loved going out and doing things with friends. Now it's like I don't know how to get back to that. I know that it won't make what I went through go away. I just need to move forward. I want to fall in love again and I want friends. It feels like I am so far from that and I don't want to be. It's amazing how one event can totally change everything. I am hoping that this can counter act that and put me closer to where I want to be. Does anyone have any advice? I am not sure what to share because what happened was pretty bad . This is my first time posting so maybe someone could tell me what I should share.

9 Replies

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  • Good job showing your courage by posting here for the first time. I think knowing that we are all here for the same reason, aka trauma, enough if you don't want to share all the details. For one I am not one to share to much, ok maybe sometimes but then I usually regret it, and delete it. So that is how I base how much I will share, That's just me though. I am currently wondering if I should stop therapy do to the fact it seems to make everything worse. So I know how you feel about that. As far as getting back into the swing of things, I think posting here is a good start. I am sure many good people will have some helpful thoughts in getting you started to a social active life again. But baby steps. Good luck .

  • Thanks for your reply! Therapy works differently for people. For me it just seemed to make me re live the experience and feel even more scared then I already did. I stuck with it till I and the therapist felt it was time to stop. I think we both knew for me it was better to distract myself with other things. Working in the yard/garden really helps me in that way. It's soothing and exhausting all at the same time.

  • I actually asked my therapist on Monday if she thought it was time to just stop. Man that opened up a huge, most productive session I have had since starting with her back in December. I too distract myself with a ton of yard and garden work. It can be a life saver sometimes.

  • You are still that person, you've just forgotten. Just go out somewhere and do something - on your own perhaps. Go to the Theater, take in a movie or a show. Dress up. Once you do you'll start to remember who you are and will start to want more of it.

    I dug out a camera this weekend. To remember something I love. I've got used to using a phone for photos and it's pretty darn good for lots of things but for some things a camera wins.

  • Yea I love taking pictures too! The trick shot is getting me and my 2 pups in the same picture. Now for the gold they have to be looking at the camera lol I am scared to go places alone. Having my pups helps me to get out and feel safe at the same time. * I take care of my parents pup all the time so I consider him to be mine too. He is in love with my pup so it all works out!*

  • Welcome

    PTSD has a habit of fighting back which is why i aim to continue with EMDR until im free of PTSD or i cant shift any more symptoms with it.

  • Your right and I think that is really brave of you to do. I am a visual person and hands on as well. Sitting in a room talking about the problem didn't seem to help me and my therapist saw I was getting really bad. She thought it best we stop and move forward with something new. I think it's different for everyone .... as long as we all reach our end goal.

  • Share anything u want. Never know what u might say that could help someone out. It's been 8 yrs for me....no one understands, friends and family have walked away or I pushed them away. Lost all my passion and enthusiasm, don't really know what makes me happy. I'm not living but existing. Yes, I can relate! Slowly ...and it's frustrating but very slowly u come into yourself...a new self. I lack patience and want it all to change now but it doesn't work like that. Keep in touch here....we all have something going on within.

  • Thanks! I really just want to trust again. I tried telling people or old friends about what happened but I think I just freaked them out. They didn't really want to help they just became more distant. It kinda hurt my feelings so I shut down. Stayed to myself and stopped trying to reach out because of judgement. Now I realize those people were never my friends and I'm over trying to keep in touch with them. I would rather have a few best friends then a bunch of fake fair weather friends.

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